- Username
- MadiK
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Today
Yesterday was so good, I had my first session with my NOCD therapist. Then today comes and I’m in a whirlwind. Nothing feels real everything feels so fake. I have intrusive thoughts slipping into my head every second. They aren’t even what ifs they are now statements. The fact that they are statements rather than what ifs or questions make me feel like a horrible person. Instead of what if I don’t love my boyfriend. Or what if I don’t want to be with him. It’s I don’t want to. And I don’t. It’s causing a lot of anxiety. And then I think well is this bothering me enough? Do I feel scared enough? Does the thought of you leaving him bother you enough? What if it doesn’t? What if I do leave? What if what if what if. I feel crazy.