ROCD, or am I just convincing myself?

This is so long ah I’m so sorry. I’m really just trying to get all my thoughts out/ see if anyone feels similarly/ and what they’ve found helps. I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I’ve looked into it a lot and feel that I might have ROCD. (I was once diagnosed with anxiety, but didn’t keep up with therapy because my parents weren’t keen on it.) Now I really want to invest in it to get a formal diagnoses/help, and I’m going to start looking into that. I’m scared that this isn’t ROCD, and I’m truly just in the wrong relationship, or not actually in love with my partner. But then sometimes I’m certain it is? We’ve been together for a year and a couple of months, and it has been wonderful. She makes me feel so loved and so understood. She is my best friend. But this summer when we were on break from school I started getting major doubts once I’d found out about ROCD and some of my thoughts lined up with it’s description. I’d already started to have doubts before the summer. She is the first person I‘ve slept with, and it took a while for me to have an orgasm, and that made me freak out and start to question my attraction towards her/our compatibility. Every time we’d have sex I’d worry over this. (Though I also think it has to do with me not knowing what I wanted/what I liked in bed) Our sex life got better but I still had obsessive thoughts. I have them daily - “what if I don’t love her” or “what if this isn’t the right relationship” or “should I be dating someone else” When I’m with her I’m constantly checking. If we kiss, I’ll analyze how it feels (or how it doesn’t) and the same thing goes for when she compliments me or says she loves me. I’ll say I love her but something in my brain will say “but do you really?” Honestly, I’ve gotten to the point where when I think of her or am with her it makes me so anxious. I literally feel it in my stomach and chest. It’s so hard to deal with. I can’t make it stop. I think part of it is that I’m anxious that I’ll feel anxious/start to have obsessive thoughts, so I get anxious? I just want to be able to think of her and be around her and not feel so scared and anxious and always checking. I feel like my anxiety isn’t letting me truly experience my relationship.

Hi all, I just joined this app today after finding its recommendation on reddit so bear with me. The past three weeks of my life has been a living hell. Out of nowhere, I started obsessing about if I need to leave my partner. So let me just say, I love my partner so much, we’ve been together for 1.5 years. The thoughts about leaving him are eating me up and pulling me apart. For three weeks straight now from the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep, all I can think about is how I feel like I have to break up with my boyfriend even though I don’t want to. Nothings changed in our relationship but these thoughts have sent me into a spiral. I’ll spend hours reading articles about staying together and breaking up, having multiple crying meltdowns a day about the thought of losing him and that I don’t love him anymore, and feel like I can’t make this anxiety go away unless we break up (AND I DONT WANT TO AT ALL.) This has given my physical symptoms of nausea, chest ache, stomach issues, and mental symptoms of a pit in my stomach, constant feeling of dread, obsessive thoughts that I can’t stop thinking, and the guilt is unimaginable. I love him and I can’t imagine being with someone else. I don’t know what to do anymore. Is this ROCD or am I a bad partner?

It’s been around a week and a half since i’ve started having doubts about my relationship with my girlfriend. They subside at times when I’m not ruminating but then they come back and it’s all i think about. I’m not sure if coming on here to read other peoples feelings about their partner is reassurance seeking but when i do, it makes me feel somewhat better. The thoughts I have about my girlfriend put this negative feelings in my body that I hate. I’m questioning my attraction towards her, im questioning my love for her. Last night we talked about how she feels very disconnected from me and that we used to be so intimate together and have a strong desire for each other. I agree that that’s what it was like and that was also in the more beginning stages of our relationship. I too have missed our times when we were very intimate and passionate. But lately I’ve just had no sexual desire. Last night she also said she feels like one day, im going to have a talk with her about how I want to be just friends and that sent an intrusive thought in my head that maybe I do want to be just friends. I can’t imagine not having her in my life, I know that if I let my intrusive thoughts break our relationship, it will be my biggest regret. She’s very perfect for me, she’s funny, she’s serious, she’s mature, shes so intelligent, she’s beautiful in every way and we’ve both changed each other for the better. She’s everything I wanted in a partner. We get along so well and have so many things in common but now my brain is telling me i’m losing feelings for her and out of nowhere too. I quit vaping after being addicted to it for 4 years and that’s when i started having anxiety and doubts about my feelings. part of my intrusive thoughts tell me I was only ever excited to come home to her because she had the vape and i know that’s not true but I can’t help to wonder if it is. I love her dearly, but every morning I wake up holding her with this anxiety in my head telling me I don’t love her, I’m not attracted to her, I can’t be with her, i’m only with her because of how close we are and because she won’t have a place to stay if we breakup. But i know deep down, she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me and she’s the most important thing in my life. My anxiety is attacking her solely because of how much I care for her and value her. I see people saying if you know breaking up will hurt them, that’s how you know you love them still but wouldn’t everyone feel bad breaking up with someone they promised everything to? I genuinely cannot imagine living my life without her, even though we’re only 19. I feel like she is my person forever, i choose her always and want nothing but the best for her. I know she just wants to love me and for me to love her but my intrusive thoughts get in the way of things she wants. I guess i’m asking how should I replenish our connection, have more intimacy, and best these intrusive thoughts?