Agree or not?

Any Christian’s willing to connect ?

I'm so confused on what's appropriate and not "pedo" "groomer" "gross" when it comes to age gaps. I'm also unsure if age gaps are inherently weird and wrong. People will say 2-5 year age gaps are so weird and disgusting, that the older is much more mature than the younger. Especially with 18-21-year-olds. But I don't see that at all?? 18-23 blur together for me, and I also think once you're 18, your peers are basically 3-5 years. Like, y'all are basically the same and everything. I see my older brother and his friends, and they all range 18-25, even up to thirties with older guys form our church. None of them seem out of place and seem to be equal levels of maturity and peers, especially the younger ones. But then people will also mention how my brother is "older" (he's one the oldest in the young adult friend group at 23) but he's only a year or two older than them?? Anyways, I just turned 18 and by bff is about to turn 19. I also don't think it'd be weird for my brothers or any of their friends to date her at all (not that they want to, I'm just saying if they did) When it comes to bigger age gaps, I also think that sometimes it's just two people who love each other, y'know? When I see age gaps, I usually don't pay much attention to it, especially if they seem happy. I just think, good for them. Even if the person is like 18/19. But on top of that, I feel like people freak out when someone like 3+ years finds younger people attractive and feels attracted, and y'know, views them sexually and everything. Like porn, sex, fantasies, etc. But again, I see up to 5 years as definitely peers. And even beyond that I see people as peers. My brother and his friends are young, but they are adults and I see them as peers to the older men they hang out with. But anyways, I think someone at any age being sexually/physically attracted to 18-25yos is fairly normal? They are adults and done with puberty unlike underaged teens. So, I don't find it wrong or odd for someone to be like 25+ and attracted to 18-21yos and also view them sexually or have casual sex. I try to find answers, and the most common thing I see is that above 2 years before 25 is extremely weird and too different, and how someone like 21/22+ dating an 18yo is a pedo and too mature. But then I also see occasionally some people not seeing these things as weird, even thinking that as long as two people are 18+ it doesn't matter. I find that I fit into that category more, not seeing it as weird and a problem if two people are adults. But am I am wrong? Is it disgusting? Pedo? Is more than 2 years "too much" and weird and predatory?

I wanna start out by saying, I am really proud of how far I've come in recognizing my OCD tendencies and learned about how it can show up intersectionally for BIPOC folks who have racialized trauma and how me, being a White person, how it manifests itself for me. I'd also like to say, this is gonna be more of an analytical and reflective post. Please feel free to read and respond with any critiques or thoughts you have. I'm embarrassed about it nowadays, but it's important to acknowledge because it was a HUGE part of my teenage personality, unfortunately. I used to be a HUGE Shane Dawson fan 😭 like, his content was my strongest hyperfixation to date. So at this point in time, I feel like I'm still trying to decipher what kind of racial commentary and satire and jokes are genuinely funny and which are just perpetuating stereotypes and straight up minstrelsy. Shout out to D'Angelo Wallace for making the video essay that woke me up to seeing this issue more clearly. I try to be aware of how I can easily fall into just laughing at racial stereotypes without being aware of the serious consequences it has for BIPOC people, but at the same time, I don't want to be too worried about everything being racist and therefore that means it's bad and should be banned, cause that's also not always helpful, I've noticed. So racialized fear and polarization is something I'm deconstructing. I hate to admit this, too, 'cause it's embarrassing, but my OCD seems to latch onto racial issues. I end up obsessing about whether or not I'm causing marginalized people harm or not, particularly when it comes to racism. I believe this is because I know I was one of those White kids who was into "edgy" humor when I was a teen. I think it's just lingering guilt from knowing that was wrong, but OCD makes my guilt and rumination and therefore compulsions to "fix" it so much worse than most people. It's frustrating, but I have come a very long way in confronting and dealing with it. I'm very proud of myself for being aware that that's an issue I have. I've got to give credit where credit is due, to my biracial friend (who also happens to have OCD) for essentially helping me learn this, albeit the hard way with many arguments about racism and trauma. It's something that isn't talked about much, but we're learning to build bridges in our understanding of how mental health affects us as people with different forms of racialized trauma. Mine's not so much trauma, but social stigma, whereas his was from actual bullying and harassment and physical assault, simply because of his race. I've also learned how to recognize and deal with my own mental health issues WHILE confronting race because of Black advocates like Tony Nabors who does Racial Equity Insights, F.D. Signifier who does really great intersectional analyses on social issues pertaining to Black people, and D'Angelo Wallace for being the first Black YouTuber that made the problem with Shane Dawson video that finally helped me break out of my lowkey toxic parasocial/trauma bond relationship I had with him, lol. Does this post seem too wordy and analytical for this forum? Let me know if this isn't the right audience for this type of writing and reflection. I just wanted to talk about it because it's something I had to figure out largely on my own. Wondering if anyone else relates to this or can see themselves in this.