Eye Contact

Hi everyone, I have been struggling with something for a while and I am starting to wonder if it is related to OCD. For as long as I can remember, I have had this habit of looking at people, whether friends, family, or strangers and even kids, through a lens that feels like it is from the perspective of someone who might find them attractive or sexualize them. I don’t want to feel attracted; it just feels like my brain automatically puts them in that perspective. I’ve done this for as long as I can remember, and I honestly thought it was just part of me being curious or creative. I have always thought this was just a quirk of my brain, but now I am starting to wonder if it is an OCD thing, especially since it feels automatic and I get anxious afterward. Has anyone else experienced this? I did not think this was part of OCD, but now I am not so sure.

Not sure this is really OCD related, but does anyone else struggle with erythrophobia (the fear of blushing)? I struggle with it really bad and I feel like it’s kind of OCD related because the more you try not to think about something, the worse it gets. The more I try not to blush, the more I do. Anyway, today, I was at church which for some reason always gives me the most anxiety. I struggle with never knowing where to look which I know sounds stupid and I feel like I tend to avoid other people’s gazes. I’m always worried too that people can sense my anxiety. I accidentally made eye contact with the priest and a few other people and immediately started turning red. I looked down so as to hide it but I think people still noticed. I know that people aren’t really looking at me but I’ve always had the spotlight effect where I feel like they are always looking at me and judging me. After I blushed, I noticed 2 of the altar servers were whispering and laughing and they seemed to be looking at me. I felt so self-conscious the rest of the service. I hate erythrophobia and social anxiety and I know blushing might not seem like a big deal to those who don’t constantly struggle with it but it is to me and has ruined my life. Does anyone else struggle with this?

Does anyone else find it hard to make eye contact with people? (it makes me feel like they can somehow see through my brain, and read my thoughts, ) that’s something I struggle with especially when I have flares ! And does anyone else feel like their OCD spikes when they’re experiencing there period ☹️☹️☹️