I’ve been doing compulsions for over an hour and am very worked up. My false memory OCD and real event OCD is causing me so much pain. I can’t seem to stop thinking or searching my brain for things I’ve done wrong. I’m not sure how to calm down and get out of this spiral

Hey ocdstinks, I know I'm replying to this late, but hopefully I can give you some tips for the next time it happens. Getting caught in that spiral is so hard--wrenching yourself away from the thoughts feels impossible. There's a guide I really like on how to break the cycle of rumination, you can find it here: https://theocdandanxietycenter.com/rumination/ And that might be helpful to stop you getting to this point in the first place. When you're already in that stuck moment, though, it might be easier to try and do something else entirely. Rumination is a compulsion, so it can be helpful to try and engage in another activity, one that's positive and meaningful. That doesn't mean you're trying to push your thoughts away or block them out, just that you're going to get on with something else while your thoughts come and go, without you engaging in them. I also usually try switch up my environment if I can, even if that's just changing rooms. But I also agree with what BK said--it's important to have lots of self-compassion for yourself in these moments. OCD is hard. Stuck moments are hard. You recognised that you were in one and reached out for help, and that's fantastic! Try not to beat yourself up for getting stuck--praise yourself for trying to get unstuck. Changing these cognitive habits takes practice, and as long as you're working on it each time, you're on the right track. I hope this helps! <3

Hi ocdstinks, Try to remind yourself that no matter how much you revisit or regret or worry about whatever you may or may not have done (according to your OCD Bully) you can never change the past (or what your mind is trying to convince you happened in the past) you can only change the present and how you choose to go about in the future. Also, as hard as it seems, try to cut yourself a break and forgive your past self for whatever actions you may or may not have done, like I said those actions can’t be changed and our OCD Bully is hard enough on us without us adding to it. Everyone makes mistakes, real or not, but by acknowledging you may or may not have done them, and it’s ok if you actually did, the OCD loses its hold on that memory since it won’t cause you as much anxiety as it used to. In my experience, the more you focus on and try to replay events in your past (real or not), the more distorted the memories will become, making it even harder to discern what really happened and the more twisted they will make your actions seem as your OCD Bully makes you doubt the memories and your self worth more and more. The only real options is to acknowledge the memory and that nothing can’t be changed about past memories (except to learn and move forward) and do just that and try to move forward and try not t ruminate on what may or may not have happened as your OCD will never be happy with whatever you decide actually happened and just cause you to go round and round doubting the memories more and more endlessly. Try to forgive and forget and move on, as silly and as hard as that may sound.