Harm Ocd

so basically I had a bad dream about someone killing someone and then was on the phone in the dream, and they told me this other girl could be involved in it, and then i seen the girl she was talking about, and then i ran outside so she wouldn’t hurt me or kill me, and then I woke up, was in a panic basically, and started having all this harmful thoughts about my boyfriend, and it felt like my mind was telling me to act on this things, and it felt like a urge to do something, and then i ended up having a panic attack maybe, and called and talk to the therapist, and she said usually people who want to do these things have a plan and then that’s when my brain came up with this thought ; my brain became up with an idea that after i get off work to kill my boyfriend and put him in a red bag, and that was that, and then now i have a bunch of anxiety about that because why would I even think that, or why would i even wanna do something like that, and it feels like i’m going to but i don’t want too, and these thoughts are really scary for me. but i used to have thoughts like that all the time but they have never felt like i wanted to actually act on them, and that feeling like i want too is what is scaring me, and sometimes if i don’t get this anxiety feeling about it makes me worry even more.

Harm OCD

Nica

Date posted: 3y

Talk to someone about their dreams and they’d most likely tell you their dreams are just as violent or worse then this dream. I had a violent dream last night but it doesn’t matter; dreams aren’t to be taken seriously. Your brain is dumping random shit.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

yeah it was like that dream and what therapist said triggered these feelings and thoughts

[Deleted]

Date posted: 3y

Comment deleted by user

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

thank you, all of this is so scary, doing a bit better then i was this morning :)

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@livefornow this is what makes me feel better a bit, when you have these feelings or thoughts try to just let them come, and don’t give them so much attention, and i know that’s extremely hard too do, because the more you focus on these feelings the more real it feels and it only makes it worse, or! if you like watching dog videos or dog tv shows i find that that these calm my mind a bit :) if you ever need someone to just chat with you can also message me on here or on my post!

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@livefornow or another thing that makes me feel better is say to yourself “this is a scary feeling or scary thought, don’t give it attention and let it go” even if you don’t feel scared at these feelings or thoughts :)

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@livefornow just wanted to check in on you and see how you are doing!

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@livefornow right now, not the best just woke up so having a lot of anxiety but was doing pretty good last night when i got home from work

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@livefornow i wish this feeling to want too hurt someone would just go away.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@livefornow when you think about something your boyfriend or whoever do something wrong does anyone feel like and urge to act on the thought? or something, idk if this makes sense and most of time i get anxiety from thinking that, but there’s times i don’t and it makes me worried.

Anonymous

Date posted: 3y

@livefornow i’ve never actually been diagnosed but i’ve just always assume that i have had it, and before it was just having too touch things a certain amount of times, and then shortly after i had just the harm ocd and never experienced the urges, or anything, until now and before my harm ocd came back it was pocd, and now it’s back to the harmful thoughts, but the urges are here which is harder for me now bc before i was able to notice them just as thought, but obviously this time i have the urges, or it feels like i want too which is also pretty scary too.

lu22

Date posted: 24w

I really need advice harm ocd

I know we’re not meant to ask for reassurance but I’m currently not in therapy and I need help, it feels scarily real and I feel like I’m not anxious or worried over the thoughts. I had stabbing thoughts about someone I care about and I started deliberately imagining them to test myself to see if I hate it or not but instead it felt like I knew how it feels to stab someone and like the feeling of doing that physical action and I swear it is the worst thing I have ever experienced as well I had moments where it felt like It was about to happen or I keep getting this really sick ‘happy’ feeling that I want to do that and I don’t know what that is but it feels incredibly real almost like I was getting a happy feeling or wanted to do that thing and jsut wasn’t giving into it and now I’m thinking I’m actually evil and it feels like I get a pleasurable feeling over the thought of doing that and would want to do it?? Because I ‘like’ the feeling of doing it or it would ‘feel’ good I swear I really don’t know what to do it feels incredibly real I feel like I can’t even say that I’m worried or scared because I feel like I’m lying and actually want it and have evil desires I’m really concerned, I have never done anything bad in my life, I feel like what if through experimenting and imagining the thoughts to test myself I have suddenly discovered I like it because it feels extremely real that I would ‘enjoy’ or like Doing that evil thing and it’s really concerning, i don’t understand I was fine a few days ago and suddenly I’m experiencing this? Is it possible to suddenly become evil i don’t want to be evil, but what if i like it and my desire to not be evil isn’t as strong as this ‘happy feeling’ i wish I can be normal I don’t want any of this please but I swear I feel like there is something wrong with me, I think this is the worst I’ve ever felt, like it feels like I want it and would enjoy it and it’s making me feel really worried but at the same time I don’t even know if I’m worried please help I need advice

Thejollygian...

Date posted: 22w

My Harm OCD

Basically long story short, ive been dealing with anxiety for a very long time all my life I'm 23 now but about 5 months ago my anxiety started to get really and I overthink a ton and get worried to easily. So my chest hurt for a while from stress at work made me worry why it was hurting, then me worrying and thinking worse case scenarios was making it worse. So i and to go to the doctor and got diagnosed properly with anxiety and I have a med now that I take when I really need it called hydroxyzine but I also have another med that is Zoloft that I have been taking for a about a month now, to help with my intrusive thoughts I have sometimes i only get them when im stressed or when I'm by myself or when i just overthink in general, my loneliness depression is one of the reasons for my anxiety because I wish I had someone as in partner wise to love me and for me to love them. But anyways I've had intrusive thoughts about possibly hurting myself and family, or even my dog. Ive never acted on any of my thoughts in the past and I don't want to but I have had anxiety attacks when everything feels to real and really scares me. I constantly have the thought of am I crazy or am I becoming crazy and stuff and I've done a lot of looking stuff in the past about symptoms but most of them are identical to what anxiety is so it's hard to tell the difference. It's been probably 2 weeks since we last talked. I've been mostly doing good. But I just was wondering if had a little Harm OCD intrusive thought happen yesterday that targeted my Aunt at work she was complaining all day and when it got closer to the end of the shifts for us. I was already annoyed with a situation that happened earlier in the work day. But she came into my department and then went back over to hers and I said it out loud to myself and said you better get back over there or I'll, I tried to say something else because the word I was going to say was kill you. Obviously I don't but that's what my intrusive thought wanted me to say. And made me think thats why i got to hurt her to stop her complaing So the rest of the night I was saying she is safe I am safe I'm control, like this is just anxiety lying to you, it's just because I'm tired and got annoyed earlier. I can't tell if it was working or not because I was so tired and just wanted to go home. But after work her and I spent time together at our house she was on the one couch and I was on the other with a bunch of our dogs in the living room. I tried to keep my mind off of what happened, and I was fighting some stomach achyness already. But I obviously don't want to hurt her and we had conversations just fine. But I went to my other aunt house at night after work to go to bed because she has to watch my aunts dogs because my other aunt and family is on vacation. But anyways I'm trying to get over that word Kill, that word is what is scarring me and sticking. Like my anxiety is lying saying kill, or basically do harm. I don't want to do anything bad but I'm trying to shake that feeling and stickiness of that word. I'm just so scared and worried.

AJ Rose

Date posted: 22w

I’m having really bad thoughts of harm ocd

Im sleeping over my boys house and im having bad thoughts to hurt him and it’s like I can see myself acting on it. I never want to hurt anyone… I hope someone can comment or give me advice as I lie in bed watching crime documentary. It messes with my OCD creates false fantasies

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