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Username: username255

Date posted: 2y ago

suicidal ocd and harm ocd

did anyone go thru both of these themes? mine started out with harm ocd, i had a fear i was gonna hurt myself or someone else. for the longest it went on to hurting my mom, i was so scared i was gonna i couldn’t even go near her it passed. the harm ocd changed to existential, i got bad dpdr from it and still dealing with and now the harm came back. but mainly towards myself. i still get scared when talking about crimes and stuff, but even more anxious when i see people talk about suicide, etc. it makes me think i really am suicidal. i don’t actually have a plan, but one certain image and thing stick in my mind completely. i wont stay at my own house because my roommate owns a gun and i’m scared i’ll give into my thoughts and do it. but then sometimes i know this has been all new and overwhelming to me what if i got depression and now im suicidal. god this sucks. i dont wanna die man but at the same time do i wanna live if im thinking like this? its so overwhelming. not looking for reassurance just seeing if anyone else can relate.

Username: justlivejustlive

Date posted: 2y ago

So sorry you’re going through this. I actually have had both of these themes and I completely understand what you’re feeling and why you’re scared. I had the same fear with my mom that I would avoid her for periods of time but I have to say I started therapy and medication and really worked at doing ERP and researching OCD and I have gotten so much better over the years and I’ve gotten my life back. It’s not to say that I don’t still have these themes that pop up when I’m in a more vulnerable state like right now I’m having my suicidal theme it’s not an active thought it’s just the fear of it but I get what you’re saying ‘ cause it can feel so real and scary that you think you’re actually feeling like that. Unfortunately with OCD it plays on our worst fears and makes them so much worse. OCD is called the doubting disease which makes sense because it makes you doubt every single thing and question every thought you have. If you’re actually having real active suicidal thoughts please reach out to someone that will help you and make sure you’re safe. I know it doesn’t seem like it in these moments but it will get better there is light at the end of the tunnel trust me I’ve been there and I’ve come out on the other side stronger. I definitely still have some bad days or moments but it’s nothing compared to what it was when I first started this whole journey with OCD. If you’re not already in therapy I would highly suggest it because it really helped give me my life back also look at the support groups they offer on here they are also really helpful. I hope you feel better soon and just know that life is so much better with you in it and you can get through this. Sending love and prayers your way. ♥️

Username: username255username255

Date posted: 2y ago

what do you mean by active? it’s a constant thought but it brings me fear

Username: username255username255

Date posted: 2y ago

i really appreciate it though you taking the time to respond!!

Username: AnxiousmindsthinkalikeAnxiousminds...

Date posted: 2y ago

@username255 As someone who struggles with the same themes, I understand what you are going through. I believe what she means is that if you feel that you are in any TRUE danger (I know this may be hard to figure out and you don’t necessarily need to figure it out), but if you do find yourself planning anything or in a dangerous situation, reach out for help. For me, my thoughts try to convince me that I actually do want to die and that this is not ocd. Everyday is a constant struggle trying to figure out “Why” although I know that I have nothing to figure out and I try to live my life, even if my thoughts tell me that I don’t want to. Our thoughts do not define us. Nothing in life is worth ending your life over. We are in control of our actions, not our thoughts. You are safe, even if you don’t feel that way. You are loved and you will get better.

Username: username255username255

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anxiousmindsthinkalike this made me feel so much better im screenshotting it and coming back to it when needed. i do have some clarity with myself that if i did feel in danger or start planning i’d check myself in.

Username: AnxiousmindsthinkalikeAnxiousminds...

Date posted: 2y ago

@username255 And it most likely will never get to that point! OCD is a liar and likes to make us believe things that are not true. Because you are fearful of it happening, it means that it most likely will never happen. Sometimes I just tell myself to shut up which often works to quite the thoughts.

Username: username255username255

Date posted: 2y ago

im just anxious because i know i would regret doing it. i just wanna live normal again man. and sometimes with the dpdr it makes it worse like “well life isnt real anyways so what”

Username: GiorgieLGiorgieL

Date posted: 2y ago

I needed to read these stories. I have the same thoughts too, i've began with harm ocd and now i keep having also suicidal thoughts. But when i do, i feel scared, because i know there are millions of reasons to live, first of all my loved ones. But at the same time i keep having Harm and Pedo Ocd thoughts and im scared of myself, so i think its better not to live at all. I don't know how to reach for help, im ashamed and scared..

Username: AnxiousmindsthinkalikeAnxiousminds...

Date posted: 2y ago

Don’t be ashamed! I’m glad you found comfort in these posts. Know that you are NEVER alone and your thoughts are never as unique as you think. Remind yourself that this too shall pass and you will shortly gain your joy for life back again.

Username: GiorgieLGiorgieL

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anxiousmindsthinkalike Thank you so much for these words. Hope you're good though💘 we have to stay strong

Username: username255username255

Date posted: 2y ago

im glad you found some comfort in our stories!! life is beautiful and i do always think of my girlfriend and family who would be so traumatized by my actions. i could never do that to them.

Username: GiorgieLGiorgieL

Date posted: 2y ago

@username255 It's the same thought i keep having to calm myself down..i would never do that to them, and i would never do that to my little self. I know she's somewhere hurting inside me, and i have to take care of her. Take care of your younger self too❤️

Username: AnxiousmindsthinkalikeAnxiousminds...

Date posted: 2y ago

@GiorgieL That thought brings me comfort too. Because even if this isn’t OCD and that’s something I actually want (which I doubt), but I would never do that to my loved ones.

Username: AnxiousmindsthinkalikeAnxiousminds...

Date posted: 2y ago

@GiorgieL I also tell myself that even if I actually am suicidal, suicide is NEVER the answer and I will always be able to find a way out of this and be okay again.

Username: GiorgieLGiorgieL

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anxiousmindsthinkalike Exactly..i think the key Is to find a way out in any ways possibile (an healthy way!!) and learn to live with uncertainty

Username: NrseKrisNrseKris

Date posted: 2y ago

@Anxiousmindsthinkalike This is what I’m struggling with right now I can’t tell if the thoughts mean I really any to or not and I’m scared idk if I’m depressed or not the thoughts scare me I don’t wana die but the thoughts feel real like I’m gonna do something in that moment

Username: username255username255

Date posted: 2y ago

@NrseKris do you have urges? or get scared you’re actually depressed and will end up doing it

Username: NrseKrisNrseKris

Date posted: 2y ago

@username255 Idk if it’s an urge ? The thoughts just get strong and I get scared feeling like something is gonna happen right then and there like I’m just gonna snap or not control myself

Username: NrseKrisNrseKris

Date posted: 2y ago

@username255 And I’m scared of getting depressed

Username: username255username255

Date posted: 2y ago

@NrseKris i think that’s an urge idk

Username: NrseKrisNrseKris

Date posted: 2y ago

@username255 So what does that mean then ??

Username: NrseKrisNrseKris

Date posted: 2y ago

@username255 I’m scared of it and don’t wana do it

Username: GiorgieLGiorgieL

Date posted: 2y ago

@NrseKris Me too..i have no experience to say It its ocd or not..but if Is a common symphtom i think It is

Username: username255username255

Date posted: 2y ago

@NrseKris nothing bad. it’s apart of the thoughts. you’ll prolly get a better explanation from someone professionally bc personally i dont know exactly what it is

Username: GiorgieLGiorgieL

Date posted: 2y ago

@NrseKris Remember that urges are part of OCD too

Username: NrseKrisNrseKris

Date posted: 2y ago

@GiorgieL Omg I don’t wana act on an urge now I’m more scared wow

Username: GiorgieLGiorgieL

Date posted: 2y ago

@NrseKris The point Is that you have anxiety because you probably wouldnt act on the urge

Username: username255username255

Date posted: 2y ago

@NrseKris i think you’re getting the wrong idea of what an urge is. yk how you get that stomach drop when you think of it? thats an urge

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@username255 I think an urge is feeling like you want too do these actions, and it gives you a lot of anxiety, which is also anxiety related, along with the butterfly feeling in your stomach :)

Username: NrseKrisNrseKris

Date posted: 2y ago

@username255 Ugh that stomach drop feeling is the worst 😱😱

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@NrseKris yes it is but I also think that wanting to act on these thoughts are even worse, but in all it’s bad!

Username: username255username255

Date posted: 2y ago

@Deb12345! its all horrible. i dont wish it on anybody. this has been the hardest time of my life but im trying.

Username: NrseKrisNrseKris

Date posted: 2y ago

@username255 I’m trying too. I’m having symptoms and thoughts literally every day . I’m scared to feel these things but I have to

Username: username255username255

Date posted: 2y ago

@NrseKris mine don’t stop. i understand

Username: username255username255

Date posted: 2y ago

and i have a really loving family and girlfriend and ugh. i feel horrible thinking like this i just wanna feel safe.

Username: Nate S

Date posted: 1y ago

existential ocd and harm ocd

I keep having this what if thought that we’re not real or in a coma and it’s followed by DP/DR. To make it worse it’s followed by harm OCD. Thoughts coming up such as “if nothings real then you can k*ll someone or yourself” or “only way to escape this feeling and dream is to k*ll yourself.” Even thought deep down I would never do anything to hurt myself or family. Just can’t seem to shake this thought and then combine that with DP/DR it’s crippling. I’ve dealt with this a while ago but it’s back and has consumed every waking moment. I’ve cried myself to sleep for a week now and I just want to go back to how I was a little while ago. Anyone else had this and how have you gotten through it or have any advice. I really really need some guidance and help. PLEASE RESPOND IF YOU HAVE ANY INPUT AND HELP!

Username: Ariyah

Date posted: 37w ago

harm ocd

ive had harm type for years. it’s focused around my mom and if i want to hurt her and i spiral and it’s terrifying. sometimes i get scared that im insane and that i don’t actually have ocd, ect. my compulsions are usually going on my phone (what im doing now, i know, im trying) to distract myself or i try to comfort myself almost like reassuring. does anyone else struggle with this? I just need to know im not alone.

Harm OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 33w ago

Suicidal ocd

Can others with suicidal ocd share some common symptoms they noticed/experience with this theme?

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suicidal ocd and harm ocd

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