My mom is not helping.

My mother is very aware of my severe pure OCD and tries her best to be supportive, even when it gets really bad. I find comfort in sharing with my mother when I’m having an especially bad day, like today, where my OCD just won’t stop. I had a breakdown because I was exhausted of doing all these compulsions to try to relieve it, and I just broke down crying during our video call. I just wasn’t feeling well. My mother STARTED FILMING ME while I was crying instead of listening to a word I was saying. Mind you, I don’t ever share about my OCD with anyone else. She said she was filming me so I could show it to a doctor once I start therapy so they will “understand the severity of my case.” I felt extremely violated. I understand why my breakdown might scare my mom who wants the best for me, but I felt very embarrassed. I feel like she sees me as this sick person, she didn’t even think twice about grabbing a second phone and start recording our private call. Am I being irrational for being upset at this? I don’t feel safe sharing anything with her anymore. And I don’t need to be reminded of the severity of my case, I am well aware.

"Pure" OCD

Anonymous

User type: Staff

Date posted: 3y

You are allowed to feel whatever you feel. That would be so incredibly hard. I have actually worked with many families where the parent has filmed a child when they were in the midst of something so that they can show the doctor or treatment provider. We always have discouraged this as it really isn't as helpful as one may think- it often causes the child to feel ashamed and embarrassed and leads to more anger and frustration. I would suggest when things have calmed down a bit telling your mother how this made you feel and that you want to be able to come to her in a safe way and share these things. Usually when parents do this it comes from a deep desire to be heard and wanting to get help for their child, their intentions are often not to make the child feel bad- and it really can cause a lot of emotions for the one being video recorded. If it helps as a side note, I know many practitioners who will refuse to view such a tape as a matter of ethics.

malolin_21

Date posted: 23w

Hey:) I just want to vent

I’m feeling kind of sad cause today was not a really good day in terms of my ocd. I was feeling kind of foggy/numb and that send me to spiraling. I’m 21 years old currently studying but my family has been having trouble with money for the last couple years(we’re just me and my mom) and I kinda want to get a job but everything is far from my home and I wouldn’t be able to return back at night, also it’s either way more expensive to move or the schedule wouldn’t let me take my classes. The point is that because of that every time my mom is stress tends to treat me bad, she speaks to me like I’m stupid or she just screams to nothing cursing all life and everything and that actually makes me feel soo bad and guilty for not doing anything, I know it’s hard for me to get a job that actually helps us without quitting school but that doesn’t stop me from feeling like I’m a burden. I want to help, I want to maybe hug her or something but I know she will be angrier and probably will reject it. So that’s it, I just feel like she punishes me for the stress she’s carrying and I get it but one day is happy and it feels like all love and the next is treating me like that, Idk it’s hard (also I feel like I shouldn’t be saying this cause it’s all my fault) 🫤

Gato0z

Date posted: 20w

Help

Told my close friend about how I think I have harm ocd and showed a video describing her experience with it so I wouldn’t have to share mine. Told him how when I see the number 22 I get paranoid that I’ll harm someone, and he gave me advice to go to a psychiatrist then left me on read after we were having a conversation prior. I’m so scared to open up to people about it and now I don’t think I will again.

Anony1314

Date posted: 14w

A VERY distressed mom. Someone anyone help!

Please comment. Just say if follows along the OCD pattern or not. I don't need reassurance per se! My daughter was laying across me and every time I breathed a certain way I was getting a groinal sensation. I kept breathing like that anyways (ugh idk why), and then my mind told me I had hurt/a**aulted her that I might as well do something else to hurt because what's more. So idk why or what overcame me other than the thought of doing it because my mind told me I had hurt her already ("my mind literally made me question what to do and I guess the only thing I could come up with was using my elbow) and causing another feeling but it came across my mind to elbow her, and I elbowed her crotch or side/thigh area. Which caused another very unwanted groinal sensation. Then I began FREAKING smooth out. And I've been stressing since. I feel like as a mom I don't deserve to be hers anymore. Idk what overcame me but my therapist says it's all OCD. I was doing SO well! Is this really OCD? This has all caused me a great amount of anxiety. I feel like a terrible person and mom. I just need help knowing if this is OCD. Not wanting reassurance. Just wanting to know if this lines up with the POCD I've been diagnosed with by my current therapist.

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My mom is not helping.

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