I’ve made sex jokes and called people papa as joke I’ve even called my close girl friend papa or mama. And she does the same. And I obsess about me cheating and I feel really bad for trolling people online 2 years ago with jokes etc. my bf knows and does not care. I’ve self harmed over this many times and other things.
hi! i have this same exact problem. if ur bf rlly doesnt care j keep telling urself that u will never make the mistake of cheating or doing something u count as cheating and remind urself there’s room for improvement and mistakes happen
Thank you ! Do you mind sharing your struggles ? I have a hard time finding people who have the same issue. It’s really hard :/ I care about him so much and I cry about stuff like this daily .
@Princess4677 my bestfriend and i used to b flirty as a joke and my personality is j very flirty and friendly. when i got w my gf i was like this and it hurt her bc she wasn’t used to it. eventually i grew out of it but it came back to bother me later on and i told her and she truly doesn’t care so whenever i had I.T’s about it i would remind myself that she really doesn’t care and i’m not that person anymore and there’s only room for change and i made mistakes. just like u i have obsessive thoughts about “what if this is cheating” “what if me doing this months ago was cheating” and it bothers meeee i spent nights crying and crying over this and my specific trigger to this would b watching p*rn so eventually we made boundaries w that and then i ended up not watching it anymore bc it would just bother me. but i told her how i felt about the p*rn thing and how i felt like it was cheating and she told me she didn’t mind and she didn’t think it was and it would still bother me and i kept obsessing and replaying it but i just told myself that i wouldn’t do it again and i asked myself what i do it again and the answer is no so then i reminded myself that if she doesn’t mind and she knows then why am i still worrying. i have times now where i’ll remember something so long ago in our relationship and i’ll just obsess over it and think it was cheating and when i tell her she’ll be like “babe that isn’t cheating” and it calms me down. ur brain can seriously be ur biggest enemy. grounding helps soo much.
@pandabunny I have a lot of the same issues ! I get scared of being flirty too. For me it was having a male friend (I’m a straight female) we talked a lot about random things nothing bad. I would share with him photos of me a lot mainly tik toks. And I would wear bralettes in them and I kept overthinking about it and confessed to my boyfriend. He seemed jealous and got over it. And now he says he was wrong for being jealous . I’ve also played virtual games and fear I flirted because a lot of the rooms within the games were inappropriate but I didn’t think it mattered since it was a game. My bf does not care about the game at all. I obsess about photos I post of myself everywhere and fear it’s cheating too. My moms fiancé sexually harassed me and it triggered the cheating thing for me too. Every time someone compliments me or flirts I fear I did it back and don’t remember or what I said in response was bad. I cut off so many things due to this disorder and me being scared I honestly don’t regret it because my life has been happier without social media and games like the virtual game. It took over my life I would get so addicted to games. Thank you for sharing your story !
@Princess4677 ocd can def run ur mind, it’s been doing it to me for a little over 7 months. u aren’t alone many people besides me have the same experiences as u, u are valid and ur not a cheater!
I meant to say doing
When I was single, I watched a lot of porn, specifically lesbian porn even though I’m straight. When I got into my current relationship I dwindled down and eventually stopped watching porn of any kind, around six or so months ago. I had a flare up recently that has caused me to question every part of myself including my sexuality and my identity, my relationship, and other things that are important and valued to me, and porn keeps popping up in all of these things. I feel like my porn usage was me cheating on my boyfriend, especially in the early parts of our relationship. I broke down to him last month about it and he said it was okay, that he forgives me, but I’m still hung up on it because I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve wronged him and that I’m a terrible person and that I need to leave him because of this. This is so excruciatingly painful. I don’t want to keep confessing over and over and over again, but I don’t want to be a dirty lying cheater, which I feel like I am.
Please be gentle. (Diagnosed OCD and highly suspected BPD) I lost my grandmother, someone I was very close to a month ago. My dad was diagnosed with cancer, his health is declining rapidly. My grandfather speaks of committing because of the loss of his wife. My job has become completely mentally and physically exhausting. And a close friend blocked me for unknown reasons And I’ve been coping in unhealthy ways. I stupidly weened myself off of my meds after 3 consecutive years of taking meds. I wanted to ‘feel’ again. I am an individual with very strong morals. I’d never usually do things I don’t agree with. For example sending explicit images. Something I’ve never done and said I’d never do. However i recently did it. I’m completely disgusted in myself. I never did it for pleasure, I did it because I liked the positive comments in return. I didn’t show my face in the images, but my tattoos were there, and we exchanged selfies previously. I used a fake name. I panicked and deleted everything after a few days. Blocked him. But I’m terrified he’ll spread them, or they’ll somehow lead back to me. (We are both adults btw) I’m completely disgusted, paranoid and ashamed at what I’ve done. There’s no excuse why, but I can’t forget it, I’m terrified they’ll come back to me somehow. It’s something I’ll never. Ever. Do again. I have no idea how to cope with all of this.
My OCD is playing whack a mole but I can’t even tell if it’s OCD anymore or if I’m just a horrible person. I made a joke when my friend mentioned a video game and I replied “gooner game” and then went “just kidding” (me and one of my friends in that group typically joke like this) My other friend said “eww” and started laughing, and even if the vibes were lighthearted I now I feel like I’m a weird creep. I’m worried I should have kept my mouth shut bc the other friend is younger than me (they’re not a minor). And even then, I feel like I still majorly overstepped and feel gross. Esp because im the oldest of the group and I should be leading by example. I’m so grossed out at myself for saying such an awful thing. I’m spiraling yet again. Ugh
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