- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Oh yes, absolutely. Do you have an OCD theme that has to do with comparisons or self esteem?
- Date posted
- 3y
I think so but it encompasses alot š theres magical thinking involved as well a religious ocd mixed in. My question is if I stop comparing with my self esteem improve do you think?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Well I would say 100% yes to that question, but I also struggle a ton with self esteem and comparisons š of course Iāve always found that my self esteem seems way better whenever Iām able to NOT compare myself so much. Easier said than done of course. I think what makes it tricky too is that this issue can be viewed as something separate from OCD, but at the same time there are plenty of OCD elements mixed in.
- Date posted
- 3y
In my opinion i think self esteem and ocd are extremely tied together. Whenever my self-esteem is low my ocd spikes, and of course when im anxious as well. Lately though i see that low self esteem has like strengthened certain ocd subtypes.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Coul.C Ohh interesting, if you donāt mind sharing like what subtypes have changed from having a lower self esteem?
- Date posted
- 3y
@yun444g I personally it would be magical thinking, religious, and relationship ocd (including friendships) I believe those three would be considered my main themes as well. Wbu?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Coul.C I see. Right now Iām struggling the most with sexual orientation OCD and also a sort of obsession with my own anger & confrontation, where if someone ever makes me upset Iāll obsess over whether or not I need to bring it up to them. Honestly sometimes I would say that having a lower self esteem can help me in a way that allows me to brush off these angry feelings, because Iāve found that when my ego is higher, sometimes Iāll feel a sense of entitlement and as if the person who wronged me has no right to make me feel upset, something like that.
- Date posted
- 3y
@yun444g Iāve experienced something similar but ive nerver related it to my self esteem? Maybe it could be. Whenever i feel like someone is disrespecting me or Im not standing up for myself i have this like feeling that i need to call them out on it upfront and direct which in theory sounds good but if i dont i get super uncomfortable and this is usually when my self esteem is low. Most of the time im not sure if the thing im upset about actually warrants me calling them out on it?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Coul.C YES!! Yesyesyes! Literally all of that is exactly how I feel. Like obviously if someone puts me down directly then Iāll feel validated in calling them out, but if theyāre just being annoying somehow then I still will want to call them out even if logically I really donāt need to. Iāve been experiencing that A LOT these days so itās honestly so nice to see that someone else knows the feeling. So yeah, regarding the self esteem stuff, maybe those times werenāt actually my self esteem being higher but more like me just feeling sorry for myself and feeling entitled to calling out others for anything.
- Date posted
- 3y
@yun444g Youre the first person ive ever related to on this i think! I almost started tearing up at the idea someone goes through the same thing as me. It is hard. It makes me feel stuck in engaging with people
- Date posted
- 3y
@yun444g I just dont want to let myself down. And feel all this responsibility to make sure im not letting people put me down
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Coul.C Hey there! Just thought Iād get back to you again about this stuff. I actually have a trip tomorrow with a friend who has given me that same stuck, angry feeling, so rn Iām sort of anxious thinking about the possibility of him getting on my nerves again and then me not knowing what to do. Not looking for reassurance haha, just wondering if youāve ever felt this way!
- Date posted
- 3y
@yun444g Sorry for the late response I thought on this some more. I honestly do not know the proper way to handle these situations but i do remember all the people ive lost (friends) in a short period of time because i thought they were too needy, or too much, and picked them apart and now im suffering from loneliness. Now im not going to say that in some instances its ok to find these reasons enough to stop being friends with someone but i think having a support system is good. Everything else can be worked out possibly unless he makes you feel worse about yourself. Sorry if this is not much help
- Date posted
- 3y
@yun444g How did it go?
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
@Coul.C Hey thank you so much for your reply! I resonate a lot with what you said, these days I only feel comfortable talking with my family and only a very small number of close friends, the rest have ways of getting on my nerves and it makes me fear getting close with them again. Regarding the trip, it went alright! There werenāt any specific instances where this one friend REALLY irked me, but of course the rumination and fears were still pretty rampant during lots of times. It always leaves me with this unsettling feeling of not knowing whether I *need* to do something about it or not, the indecision is a killer
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I am struggling to feel like I deserve any of the confidence I used to have. Iāve done a lot of pretty cool stuff in my life, and I used to think it was impressive. I was so proud, and I would light up when others gave me compliments. Now, it feels like all a lie, and I canāt stop thinking everyone would hate me if they knew the terrible things Iāve thought or said or done. I make art, for example, and Iāve had a lot of success with it. But now, I feel like others would troll me or destroy my work, and then tell everyone that anything I touch is trash. Basically, I fear being bullied for the mistakes of my past ā or even just for my thoughts. My therapist keeps telling me Iām completely normal and Iām the only one beating myself up, but my OCD says, āNo, sheās wrong ā you should stop pursuing your dreams and push away anyone who likes you, because theyāll all hate you eventually.ā I know itās ridiculous, but it feels so real. Anyone have advice for rebuilding confidence in the face of OCD?
- Date posted
- 23w
In the past, I have struggled with my self esteem, it has gotten much better though! Exercise, and lifestyle changes have helped more than self medicating. But the thoughts still happen more often then I would like, usually triggered by an argument with my partner, when certain friends text her, or overthinking too much. I also sometimes feel like she will leave me or cheat. Even though we are open and honest with each other. How can I help control these thoughts?
- Date posted
- 22w
Hoping to find solidarity - Iām coming out of a major OCD episode and my self-esteem definitely took a hit. I talked with my therapist about it, and she was really helpful, and it definitely seems like it could be depression, especially as it was a really rough winter where I live and itās really only just starting to ease up. Plus itās also late at night as Iām writing this and as they say, never trust how you feel about your life after 9PM lol - but Iām just wondering if anyone else is dealing with this. I can sit with the uncertainty and the anxiety, but my self-esteem definitely takes a hit with every intrusive thought, and it makes me feel like no one could ever love me, or like Iād be lying/faking being a good person. Just curious to hear othersā thoughts about this - if this is pretty much to be expected after a major OCD episode, if this is depression, etc. And like, for context, it was a really bad OCD episode - fears I thought Iād dealt with already came up, a lot of new fears, every day for months was really high anxiety where I was watching TV just to get through the day, and it felt like I was just holding on until my next therapy session. And all centered around one of the darker OCD themes, and Iām only just coming out of it. Like this is the second or third week where Iāve been able to sit with things that come up and let the anxiety pass, so I feel like this is probably to be expected, that now that itās passing, thereās things I have to address, like the self-esteem and the areas of my life that got neglected while I was in survival mode. I just hope it gets better soon - I want to go back to how I was feeling last spring and summer, when OCD wasnāt bothering me as much, or it was a less-dark theme to deal with, and i felt so much better about myself š£ Maybe itās just a matter of getting out of the house and out of my own head, and doing things that align with my values, especially after months of feeling like a terrible person? Will this pass eventually and Iāll feel like myself again? Itās just hard to actually really think about myself and what kind of person I am - I get anxious thinking about if Iām a good person or a bad person, and I almost kind of try to avoid thinking much about myself at all. And it feels like Iām faking being a good person - like if people only knew half the thoughts and fears that came up, they wouldnāt like me anymore. And it feels like if I move on and forget about these fears that came up, Iām lying to people and to myself, but I just wish I could move on from all of this, and be who I used to be, when these thoughts and fears werenāt on my mind. If you read this far, thank you š¤ā¤ļø i hope things get easier for you soon and that many good things come your way. Stay safe and take care of yourself
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