Self-esteem is contingent on comparison. What do you guys think of this statement?

I think so but it encompasses alot 😅 theres magical thinking involved as well a religious ocd mixed in. My question is if I stop comparing with my self esteem improve do you think?

In my opinion i think self esteem and ocd are extremely tied together. Whenever my self-esteem is low my ocd spikes, and of course when im anxious as well. Lately though i see that low self esteem has like strengthened certain ocd subtypes.

@Coul.C Ohh interesting, if you don’t mind sharing like what subtypes have changed from having a lower self esteem?

@yun444g I personally it would be magical thinking, religious, and relationship ocd (including friendships) I believe those three would be considered my main themes as well. Wbu?

@Coul.C I see. Right now I’m struggling the most with sexual orientation OCD and also a sort of obsession with my own anger & confrontation, where if someone ever makes me upset I’ll obsess over whether or not I need to bring it up to them. Honestly sometimes I would say that having a lower self esteem can help me in a way that allows me to brush off these angry feelings, because I’ve found that when my ego is higher, sometimes I’ll feel a sense of entitlement and as if the person who wronged me has no right to make me feel upset, something like that.

@yun444g I’ve experienced something similar but ive nerver related it to my self esteem? Maybe it could be. Whenever i feel like someone is disrespecting me or Im not standing up for myself i have this like feeling that i need to call them out on it upfront and direct which in theory sounds good but if i dont i get super uncomfortable and this is usually when my self esteem is low. Most of the time im not sure if the thing im upset about actually warrants me calling them out on it?

@Coul.C YES!! Yesyesyes! Literally all of that is exactly how I feel. Like obviously if someone puts me down directly then I’ll feel validated in calling them out, but if they’re just being annoying somehow then I still will want to call them out even if logically I really don’t need to. I’ve been experiencing that A LOT these days so it’s honestly so nice to see that someone else knows the feeling. So yeah, regarding the self esteem stuff, maybe those times weren’t actually my self esteem being higher but more like me just feeling sorry for myself and feeling entitled to calling out others for anything.

@yun444g Youre the first person ive ever related to on this i think! I almost started tearing up at the idea someone goes through the same thing as me. It is hard. It makes me feel stuck in engaging with people

@yun444g I just dont want to let myself down. And feel all this responsibility to make sure im not letting people put me down

@Coul.C Hey there! Just thought I’d get back to you again about this stuff. I actually have a trip tomorrow with a friend who has given me that same stuck, angry feeling, so rn I’m sort of anxious thinking about the possibility of him getting on my nerves again and then me not knowing what to do. Not looking for reassurance haha, just wondering if you’ve ever felt this way!

@yun444g Sorry for the late response I thought on this some more. I honestly do not know the proper way to handle these situations but i do remember all the people ive lost (friends) in a short period of time because i thought they were too needy, or too much, and picked them apart and now im suffering from loneliness. Now im not going to say that in some instances its ok to find these reasons enough to stop being friends with someone but i think having a support system is good. Everything else can be worked out possibly unless he makes you feel worse about yourself. Sorry if this is not much help

@yun444g How did it go?

@Coul.C Hey thank you so much for your reply! I resonate a lot with what you said, these days I only feel comfortable talking with my family and only a very small number of close friends, the rest have ways of getting on my nerves and it makes me fear getting close with them again. Regarding the trip, it went alright! There weren’t any specific instances where this one friend REALLY irked me, but of course the rumination and fears were still pretty rampant during lots of times. It always leaves me with this unsettling feeling of not knowing whether I *need* to do something about it or not, the indecision is a killer