Why does it feel like I could be fantasizing if I wanted to but it’s like I’m holding myself back???? Because every time I get an intrusive thought that that’s what I want it seems like I’d be able to linger on it if I didn’t think p*dophilia was disgusting and awful and it just seems like I would like it but I would never do that 😭😭
I know how you feel
Do you have thoughts that you would like it like a mental arousal as well as physiological?? I feel in denial because I feel like I don’t like a p when I say that but these feelings are unwanted
Watch a video on YouTube called “arousal nonconcordance” posted by TED. Highly recommend. It’ll demonstrate to you how complicated sexuality is and possibly break down the barrier of what “normal” sexual thoughts are. I’m not in anyway saying that having POCD is a good thing or that having pedofilic thoughts is a good thing… just trying to show you that we are all complicated beings. The more you worry about trying to have “normal” thoughts the more OCD persists.
Thank you… It’s just hard because it feels like my mind wants it not my body it’s like unwanted mental arousal ig idk it’s just really really weird and gross and I hate it
Thank you
@_anonymous_075 I know… I completely understand how that feels!
I feel like a monster why can’t I just have normal sexual thoughts again.
Just how is it possible this could still be POCD??
But like I just have to trust it is because I could never live with myself
It’s terrifying, like I’m a danger to be here
It really is terrifying, especially when I get big an intrusive urge to think about it and a feeling like I want to but I’d never.. I just don’t know what other reassurance there is besides I would never actually bring it into my reality and makes me feel hopeless sometimes that this is still pocd
@_anonymous_075 Yea, because it isn’t enough that you’d never do it, the thoughts are too much regardless, the thoughts itself and people ACTUALLY thinking that way does horrible damage. I hate it, i alredy hate how society sexualises children
it is just so exhausting and terrible to live with myself while I have these thoughts they’ve taken over my brain it’s really hard to fantasize about good sexual thoughts because I instantly given an intrusive thought, feeling or urge. I just really need encouragement right now I hate my brain and what it makes me feel. Will this ever change?
This… I constantly deal with instant intrusive thoughts, and feelings whenever I try to have good sexual thoughts about adult girls I like… but it’s with my HOCD more frequently…
@745 Ya like usually for me my ocd like literally won’t let me fantasize even if I really try it just feels like there’s no point I’m not gonna feel much attraction. Like why?? Then with intrusive thoughts I’m able to get all these sexual feelings like what is that?? Ocd trying to deceive me ?
@_anonymous_075 I hope to god it’s OCD… I’ve had this for nearly two years… and I only want to ever be with girls who are adults… 😞😞😞
Intrusive thoughts are the worst… we just have to know to our core who we are and what we really want in life and keep going
I hope to god I can move past this… I know in my core I’m straight but my HOCD just does everything in its power to try and convince me it’s real…
@745 That’s how my POCD makes me feel in every way it convinces me it’s who I am and it’s real, it like gives me distorted ideas of what I want and makes me feel in denial
@_anonymous_075 I have HOCD, POCD, and real event OCD tied to the two subtypes… i understand…
It feel like I am stopping myself from being a pedofile but deep down want to see children that way, like if I lacked morals I would Be a pedofile
I just hope to God that this is ocd making me doubt my desires to the furthest extent because I couldn’t live if I actually wanted that
Last night I was self pleasuring. I didn’t set out to think about anything weird but as I was doing it some pocd thoughts were in my brain. I did not get off to them, but I could have. Idk why that is but it is. Idk what to do and idk why I am this way. Is there some science about the brain while aroused or is it possible that the more gross or taboo something is I can like it?? Idk, just want to know if anyone can relate.
I deal pretty heavily with this. The last couple days, I’ve had what I think are urges. Something pops into my head intrusively and then what stems from that is me WANTING to just indulge in it even though it’s gross. I get worried bc I used to struggle w thoughts about my dad for a long time until eventually I just purposely thought of him while self pleasuring and got off to it. While that’s something I did, it is NOT me. It all stemmed from my mental health declining a couple years back, I was never this way before. So I get worried that it almost happened or might happen with my pocd cuz I could never live with myself if it did.
I’m scared I might become a r*pist I’m over here thinking at a time I saw a kid and I looked down at his pants like I keep thinking about what I did and it’s like I feel attracted and to me it felt like I gave him this predator look and he probably thinks I’m a P I just wonder how is this Pocd Because it feels like I want to do stuff like I don’t know I keep thinking about that situation
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