- Date posted
- 3y
A genuine request for help
For the past two days in a row I’ve taken Flexeril, which is a muscle relaxer, and a full dose of Tylenol p.m. I know that makes my brain fuzzy but all I want is to sleep. Just silence and for a while I get that and sometimes it even makes it so I can’t get anxious. But then I get it also makes it so I can’t get mad or at really happy at any genuine level you know? As in it it muffles everything. And obviously that has a downside. I took the Flexeril and Tylenol p.m. around 10 1030 maybe I don’t know and went to bed at 11 something maybe. And woke up at 6 something and woke up arguing with myself. I woke up smiling saying I don’t but I want boobs to go away I don’t want them. I’m scared I’m smiling in noticing women more than I would like I’m desperately terrified I’m changing and I don’t want to I want my old self back my old sexuality back. I don’t want anything added or altered. I’m scared I’m noticing things more like I tried to say but I don’t want the beauty I don’t want to see women as that kind of beautiful you know? I don’t really care if it’s like the mundane kind but i’m scared that I keep smiling and saying how I don’t want boobs I want them to go away and then I don’t want my guy to go away I do want him and all these words mixed together. I don’t want guys to go away everything is switching around my brain. And I’m scared I saw an advertisement for a movie and I acted like I do because I accidentally saw one of the other characters an actress in an all see-through dress at the 2021 met gala and I act like I do but I don’t actually like her boobs but I friend of the way I’m smiling almost like a guy. I really don’t want anything to do with this I don’t want boobs I want them to go away why did I try to go back to sleep after waking up at six to go to the restroom saying I don’t know when I want them to go and then I’m free now I can’t tell if it’s my heart or not I don’t want my heart to be involved in this I feel like screaming. My heart doesn’t my boobs and then I keep adding to go away my heart does my boobs to go away my heart doesn’t want boobs why did they insist I don’t I want them to go away now I can’t swallow like I can’t tell what my heart wants my body doesn’t want boobs my heart doesn’t really either I can’t tell. I don’t want to stop caring I want this to go away. Why did I say that if I’m straight I don’t want boobs I want them to go away and I don’t like the way I’m smirking almost like a guy like I do I don’t want my guy to have boobs and I don’t want the female character from the movies boobs I keep I’m scared I do I don’t like that I’m scared to do I don’t like the structure I don’t like boobs I keep calling it attributing positive things to it that I don’t want to boobs are not hot I don’t want them to go away oh my God I just said I don’t I want them to go away this is exactly what I’m talking about if I’m straight why would I say I don’t want them to I don’t I don’t want boobs and now I feel worse when I say that I don’t want them what is happening I don’t want to change I don’t want boobs I don’t want them to go away I don’t want them and I’m scared to call them I don’t want them to be hot they’re just heavy and round and I’m scared I don’t like the way they hang out I’m scared I’ve just condition myself too I don’t like the way boobs I can’t swallow my tongue is getting really swollen. I don’t like boobs I don’t like I’m scared they’re not hot or just heavy and round I’m fine I can’t help it like I don’t want to like the way they hang on the chest I’m scared I keep calling them but they’re not I’m scared I am I don’t want to be gay I don’t wanna be like a guy I don’t I’m scared them to use them I keep calling them thinking of calling them they’re not delicious I don’t want fat deposits I feel like screaming I want them to go away all my God help me please called someone help me I don’t wanna move some of them to go away I make faces like I don’t but I want muscle not fat and I keep acting like I don’t want the actress her boobs are not hot I don’t want the weather I’m scared I don’t like I’m scared I don’t want to understand how you guys feel I don’t want fat deposits I don’t want boobs please help me I miss boys I don’t want those to go away I’m not pectorals and boys I don’t want boobs muscle instead of fat I’m scared I’m too used to thinking of boobs and that I but I don’t actually want them and I feel worse when I say that I don’t want them but I want them to go away I don’t want boobs I’m scared I’m so used to them and I keeps calling them I don’t wanna be bisexual they’re not hot or delicious please I want them to go we can put someone make them go away I’m on my son stead of fat I keep thinking of her boobs in the naked see-through dress I don’t like the way I don’t like the heavy where they hang no I want muscle please tell me I want help I’m spiraling I need help I want a mom but I can’t I I said I don’t I want muscle I’m trying to have irrococably changed and I don’t want to help me God please I miss muscle I can’t stop thinking of fat like it is what it’s not attractive I know I’m just gonna make faces at my guy I want him I mean he’s not my guy but I’d love to know him for years well not as much as I’d like in the knowing department but still I want him and he’s not a delusion I need help I don’t want boobs I can’t stop thinking about them is though why would I not want them to if I’m straight I want them to go I don’t want them I want them to go away I said don’t only I don’t like them at all. I’m scared I do I don’t wanna hybrid I just want muscle I don’t want fat I’m sorry for the stream of consciousness stuff.