lilyluna

Date posted: 3y

strong thoughts

i already discovered that my situation is about my inner self trying to protect me from being dumped. the thing is that what it’s trying to do is to make me dump first. dump before being dumped, if you will. this happens when i tell myself a story in which my boyfriend doesn’t love me or where he cheats on me, so my reaction is to end things before i get hurt. i hope i’m making myself clear. last night my boyfriend had dinner with some family friends and he didn’t text me at all for like three hours. we don’t do that ever, we are constantly sending at least some pictures or stuff, but last night there was nothing i started thinking and imagining things like that he ended up kissing a girl i knew was there, and that now he would talk to me until he had the courage to tell me what he had done. it’s all in my imagination but i started to get very overwhelmed. a few minutes after this he texted me and told me he was just spending time with everyone and didn’t have a chance to text me. i thought so much about like “if he was the right one for me he would have texted me something, i don’t think he didn’t have ANY chance”. at the end i calmed down and left it alone. we kept talking as usual. then i wake up in the middle of the light dreaming that i was dating someone else and with all these thoughts rushing on me. again, my inner self was trying to convince me i should dump him before anything painful happens. i guess that was just my subconscious speaking but it scares me a bit more to think that. it’s like the fourth attack i’ve had in the last two weeks and i’m tired of it. i just want to enjoy my relationship and to be chill about these things happening.

Relationship OCD

userrrr

Date posted: 3y

omg wait i relate to this

userrrr

Date posted: 3y

like sometimes i get anxious when my gf is away from me spending time with friends or family. like if she doesn’t text me, my mind tells me oh she doesn’t care about you enough or like you the same because if she did she’d wanna text u more.

userrrr

Date posted: 3y

also whenever my gf shows she cares about her family or friends in any minuscule way i feel anxious/sad/jealous. i think it roots in the idea that i’m not important enough. do u have this?

userrrr

Date posted: 3y

like i have this irrational minded set that if she cares about other people that means she doesn’t care about me enough? idk

lilyluna

Date posted: 3y

@idk1 YES OMGGG! like if my bf is gone be out with his siblings or something like that i feel like jealous in a way, like i know he’s not gonna like them obviously haha but like why aren’t you spending this time with me? am i not important? but yeah totally

lilyluna

Date posted: 3y

@idk1 do you get the dump before being dumped though?

userrrr

Date posted: 3y

@lilyluna not fully i don’t really worry about but i do get anxious at the thought of breaking up

lilyluna

Date posted: 3y

@idk1 yeah me too

userrrr

Date posted: 3y

@lilyluna also i’m really upset because i just saw this tik tok and it was like “when you’re having a blast with your family and look over and see the narcissist getting upset because you’re finding happiness in something other than them” :/ now i’m worried

userrrr

Date posted: 3y

@lilyluna i’ve never spoke to someone w this experience. are there any other times you get jealous for like no reason? i feel crazy like i’m a narcissist

lilyluna

Date posted: 3y

@idk1 yeah i don’t think it’s a narcissist thing really. i actually came to an agreement with my boyfriend about last night. we agreed on him texting me once in a while just so i don’t feel ignored lol but i’ll also try my best to not think he forgot about me or that he doesn’t care. i think id tell you to just communicate honestly, tell her what you need in those situations, say i love you before leaving for a while, you know?

userrrr

Date posted: 3y

@lilyluna no like even at her dads funeral i was getting triggered and i started feeling super irrational feelings

lilyluna

Date posted: 3y

@idk1 hey do you think you could help me please?

userrrr

Date posted: 3y

@lilyluna yes ofc!

Mariabae

Date posted: 19w

im scared

my thoughts are screaming at me telling me that i dont want my relationship anymore and that i realized i lost feelings. i have a beautiful relationship of two years with a beautiful boy that loves me dearly and i deal with this thoughs for a year and a half. Im so scared it feels so real im scared i have changed and my last therapy session made it worse she basically told me i have to realise the thoughts are true and stop lying to myself. And made me think i am so scared and heartbroken bc i put high expectations on myslef to be with my boyfriend for all my life. Maybe i dont want to hurt him??? im always questioning my feelings for him 24/7 for over a year. I wm tierd

Aideeeen

Date posted: 15w

Overthinking… and Abandonment issues.

Hello, this is my second post, not too long ago i made my first, talking about a sudden come-back of my intrusive thoughts. This post will talk about another of my issues, mainly regarding ocd (obviously) and relationships. As i had said before, i had been feeling terrible and felt like i didnt deserve love, especially the love of the guy that i love. I would like to add that in prior moments we have promised eachother and he has reassured me he will never leave me, but today he was pretty much gone all day (long distance) and for the most part ive just been overthinking, all night, actually.. thinking that at any moment he will just randomly block me on everything and never talk to me again. Its now 4:03 AM, and i just feel so scared. Im scared of losing him, this is predominantly because in a past relationship things ended suddenly, my ex switched up after we had promises and everything and i am absolutely horrified of things ending the same way for me and him. I’ve been anxious, trying to take my mind off of it, but if i do, my mind tells me that if i look away, when i look back, i’ll miss it and he’ll have already blocked me. and tries to tie in earlier conversations i had throughout the day and somehow ties them back to now. (Like my bestfriend telling me she had some dream where i apologized to my friends for ‘leaving’) For the past few hours ive just been out of it. Im scared of being obsessive, Im scared of losing him, and whenever i check to see, my heart skips a beat because i thinks he’s gone. The thing is, I know this isnt the case, and I know there must be an explanation, but for some reason im still worried. and I know these thoughts arent a reflection of reality, but ive also had the idea that my thoughts can also affect what actually happens. I would also like to add that he lives in the US and is mexican, and with the increasing violent situation, my mind even starts to wander off and ask itself what if something happened to him? It makes it worse. because i can’t control it. and that makes me afraid. Im also worried about being a horrible partner, about everything failing and its all just making me feel worse. Yesterday morning I woke up feeling sort of out of it, and throughout the day i felt as if i were emotionless, which made me wonder what if i had lost emotions for him? this also happens to me sometimes. I, for some reason begin thinking like “you lost your love for him nothings gonna happen ever.” and my mind starts making up reasons why, or simply gives me this feeling of emptiness for that love, as if i have been detached from it. and then i overthink again “what if i actually dont love him but im just obsessed and thats all it is an obsession and none of it is real?” that last part, im feeling it right now. along with everything else. Im exhausted, Im tired, and i just want to be happy with him. Thank you to all those who choose to read this. thank you. ❤️ Edit: I would also like to add that ive been also dealing with the occasional regular intrusive thoughts. which dont form fully in my brain but i can still sort of, “feel” the intrusive thoughts uncomfortable themes.

Dev12_

Date posted: 9w

ROCD struggles

My mind won’t let me trust that my boyfriend loves me and it’s the most frustrating thing ever. Honestly idk if this is rocd but recently we’ve been really great and our relationship has been strengthening so much. He gives me no reason to fear him leaving or anything or even cheating. He’s very loyal and has shown that he loves me. But my brain keeps pushing me away and at the smallest things he does I think maybe he doesn’t and I’m scared to fully put my all into him bc I think I’ll get hurt, every time i notice a small thing I don’t like abt him, it worries me and makes the thoughts worse. Basically to sum it up I won’t let myself just trust that he loves me and that we’ll be okay, I keep focusing on the future and what ifs like if we break up or something happens and it’s like I’m trying to protect myself from the future. It’s so stressful and annoying, I can’t predict the future so I just wish my mind would be calm and let me live my mind. No matter what I do I can’t shake off the fear.

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