Struggling with ROCD and fears of loving the wrong person? Help!

ROCD

I am in a really bad spot with my ROCD right now. I have been having terrible fears that I married the wrong person and that I don’t actually love him. One of my obsessions has been surrounding a guy friend of mine from a few years ago and wondering if I would’ve been better off married to him (we never dated, I was dating my husband then). But now I’m worried because If OCD attaches to what we love and value most, I’m concerned that I truly love that other guy - and even if I am having OCD, the fact that I’m obsessing over him/his wife and the idea I might’ve been better with him, doesn’t that mean something??? Anyone else experience this? I feel so beat down.

Relationship OCD

Username: RgigoRgigo

Date posted: 2y ago

Your thinking about it cause it’s become a obsessive thought & the more you try not to think of it the more stronger it gets. After a while of us having a certain thought & we think about it all day everyday it becomes automatic that’s why it’s sooo hard

Username: _MO_MO

Date posted: 2y ago

Ugh it’s so tough. Thank you. I just wonder why that person specifically became an obsessive thought for me?

Username: RgigoRgigo

Date posted: 2y ago

@_MKO It might be that your rethinking everything in your life & with rocd you tend to compare alot so probably compared your current partner to your ex & you felt really guilty just even thinking of him, so that triggered your anxiety & ocd & it’s a ruminating cycle now.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

That's been me the past week or so:/ I love my boyfriend but lately I've been getting small reminders of my ex who I was with before my bf and I've just been thinking about oh what if I still love him, what if I want to be with him and this was a mistake. And it's like I want nothing to do with the guy but when I tell myself that I feel like I'm lying:/. Then I'm like what if, maybe I do still feel for him and then I get worried and I feel guilty towards my boyfriend I feel like I'm cheating. I tell him these things but it's still very stressful because why am I thinking about him so much if I don't still miss him? But, when you ask that what if question over and over and obsess about it I guarantee it's ocd so just label it as such. Then you can be like oh, this doesn't mean anything it's just another obsession

Username: _MO_MO

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you for sharing that. I really appreciate it. I just feel so crazy, and it all feels so real. I’m afraid I don’t even have OCD at all, and I simply just made the biggest mistake of my life

Username: RgigoRgigo

Date posted: 2y ago

A specific *

Username: ChyChy

Date posted: 2y ago

Hi friend I just wanna encourage you that something I’ve personally experience with relationship OCD, is it likes to change focuses every couple months or so. I haven’t had this exact comparison with my husband and a friend of his, but I have had that general thought of comparison with my past dating. And now I could say that my anxiety focus is in a different place now, that’s a great thing and I love that. But that just encourages me and assures me that just because my anxiety and my natural fear focus is on a certain theme right now does it mean that it’s true because history has shown that it is bound to change. And then encourages me that one of these thoughts and these forceful focuses come up that they’re not the truth. I hope this makes sense and encourages you

Username: ChyChy

Date posted: 2y ago

Username: ChyChy

Date posted: 2y ago

And now I can say my anxiety focus is in a different place now, and that’s not a great I don’t love that***

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

Rocd! Anyone else ever have a worry that they’d rather be with their ex? I don’t actually think it, but I worry that I would want that, and then I feel guilty, like my minds already made up. It gets me super anxious and upset. Makes me feel as if I’ve betrayed the girl I just married, and that my life is ruined. Now. I would never leave her, I don’t want to leave her, I don’t want to lose her, and I certainly don’t want to go back to my ex. But my mental obsessing over that scenario is driving me crazy, and causing me to doubt myself.

Username: Joyful90

Date posted: 43w ago

ROCD and coincidences

I’m just curious if anyone else has ever dealt with this specific bit of what I assume is ROCD. This is the second time I’ve dealt with this, but I wasn’t in a relationship the first time it became an issue, and now I am. Basically I’m having intrusive thoughts that I’m meant to be with someone from my past who treated me terribly and is someone I was never able to see a future with, and whom I absolutely don’t want a future with. I’m currently in the healthiest and happiest relationship I’ve ever been in, but these thoughts just won’t stop flooding in, and the last few months they’ve come with coincidences that make it even harder to deal with (a patient of mine having the past guy’s birthday, the past guy’s name showing up more frequently, etc) I’m literally marrying the love of my life in just over a week, and this just seems so unfair, and it’s causing some guilt as well. I’m just curious if anyone else has ever experienced these thoughts too, and what you did to overcome them. Thanks for reading all this!

"Pure" OCD

Username: Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 38w ago

ROCD

Struggling with ROCD lately and it’s really getting to me. I know I love my partner deeply, but these intrusive thoughts just won’t let up. It’s like this constant battle between my heart and my mind, and it’s exhausting. Does anyone else experience this? Feeling like you need to do something to ease the uneasiness, even though you know deep down you’re with the right person? It’s like walking on a tightrope of happiness and doubt.

Relationship OCD

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Struggling with ROCD and fears of loving the wrong person? Help!

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