- Date posted
- 3y
Hocd
My brain makes me feel happy with liking girls it no longer is anxiety it feels like my brain is forcing me into it. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m so tired of this. I just want to like guys & be happy.
My brain makes me feel happy with liking girls it no longer is anxiety it feels like my brain is forcing me into it. I don’t know how to explain it. I’m so tired of this. I just want to like guys & be happy.
I know how you feel it's just because you're brain has become accustomed to it. It's actually a sign you're getting better. It was really strange going through this. I'm a male. when it first started it was like I couldn't look another male , then forced myself to do erp then the anxiety left, then felt like I became my fear , then felt bi then felt asexual then went back to feeling how I use to before the intrusive thoughts kicked in
Have you managed to overcome HOCD ? X
Me too 😔😔 I feel like i enjoy "liking" women and that I'm destined to be in a lesbian relationship
Yeah. You have to probably take SSRI S , I'm on Sertraline 200 mg, was originally on 100 mg and didn't do anything and then it allowed me to do erp and it just fades away.
I’m struggling so bad. I actually started getting better but now my thoughts are back. I feel like I can’t do anything, watch a movie “oh you’re turned on by that”, go out shopping “oh you’re trying to look pretty for her”. Like what???? My brain just won’t stop!!!!!! It’s making me so depressed, I just feel like I’m about to lose it. I’m happily married, and absolutely in love with my husband. But my brain keeps saying “you’re gay! You’re bi” whatever. I’m so tired guys, I feel so alone, and this has been going on for months…
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
As a lesbian with SO-OCD, I feel so helpless. It's truly exhausting because no one I know understands what I'm going through. The first response is always, "You're just confused" or "You don't have to know yet." But that's not the issue, I do know. I just never see any lesbians with SO-OCD so I feel so invalidated. These thoughts flood my brain constantly, forcing me to analyze my reactions to every man I see. I feel trapped in an endless cycle of "testing" myself, trying to prove that I don't like them. But my brain fights back, telling me I do want to love a man, making it feel real even though don't want it. It's terrifying. At this point, it's hard to even hold onto my identity as a lesbian because I'm so overwhelmed. I don't know if this is what real attraction is supposed to feel like, and that fear eats away at me. The truth is, when I think about being with a man, all I feel is disgust and fear-but my brain twists that into doubt. I hate it. I'm at the point where I'm scared I'm going to have to accept something I don't want because I don't know if this will ever go away. I miss who I was before all this.
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