Hocd

I don’t know if it’s SOOCD. I no longer feel anxious in the moment when I think about women, and it’s like my imagination wants me to think about it and get aroused. I don’t want to be gay, but maybe I am after all. In my life I haven’t been so sexually driven before (when I was living with a man, or when being single) but now all I can think about is having sex with a woman. I don’t want to, but somehow my body does and it feels like my mind have changed to accept it to.. feel so sad This all started around 4 weeks ago..

I don’t know what to do anymore, this started nearly a year ago and caused so much stress and panic attacks over the thought of loosing my boyfriend. Now it just feels real and that he always liked girls and suppressed it (but like the boys i always liked in the past were real feelings they had to be and with my boyfriend i love him) but i haven’t got much anxiety now feels like i want the thoughts and that they don’t bother me even tho they used to, this seems to happen every time i get a lil better, idk just feels so true and that’s what i acc want with no stress, just a lil scared.

Can hocd create mental feelings or things that resemble inclinations Without a physical response?, but such as arousal and mental attraction, for example, I have so ocd and I'm afraid that I might like women.So, in the last period, when I look at photos of girls, especially beautiful ones, I feel something strange or attracted,sometimes their bodies.And I'm confused as to what that might mean, it's like sexual orientation, is this from me or OCD produced by it?'The feeling is like the feeling of discovering new inclinations and this breaks me, I just want to reconcile with myself in any sexual orientation or identity, but I just can't feel comfortable and reconcile with the fact that I may like women or it may happen in the future.And I have these feelings that telling me messing around the girls would be fun, and I feel something like desire, but I never come to terms with this.. I'm going to be 15 years old, I know, I'm not supposed to think like that, I don't have the right to determine who I am now because im young, and I shouldn't continue to dream of marrying a man..My mind keeps reminding me of the fact that I'm a teenager and the likelihood that everything will change is high, but right now, I'm not asking for anything but rest.I want to love myself and reconcile with her.