i think i’m a fearful avoidant, but my mind tells me i run away from guys bc i don’t actually like them / am a lesbian. the guys i’ve been really into, i run from. and i self-sabotage because i can see that they’d be a great match for me and could be something good in my life. i’ll be fine at first. very warm and affectionate. physically intimate as well. but then i get really freaked out if i’m triggered by something. idk if this just means i’m trying to find a way out bc i’m actually supposed to be with a girl? but i genuinely like them?

we seem to relate to each other on many different things! the last guy i liked was pretty much everything i’ve wanted in a man -physically, mentally, emotionally. and i just sabotaged it. and i’m pining for him still, but my mind can’t seem to accept that i’m into him?? like it won’t let me. have u ever had something like this before - i’m just curious.

@koitoi Currently happening to me rn.

fearful avoidant is an attachment style that is characterized by someone who genuinely wants intimacy, but runs away from it when it shows up.

@koitoi Ohhh, Ive always been that then, everytime a girl got close to me physcially and made moves, i would back away or she tried to flirt i would avoid flirting back etc etc. I can relate to your post