If its possible that i found out im gay through hocd then realizing im trans through im trans too through "tocd" is not far fetched is it. Im so tired, its everyday im on the edge, gettimg triggered by guys and by girls. It seems like i didnt have full unferstanding of myself and the world before ocd and after ocd Ive been shown the reality and found out my real self. Ive said this here so many times but its all i can think about
Hey, this happened to me! I thought it was ocd but I don’t think it really ever was after all. I’m happier now though :) If it’s too triggering just keep in mind I’m the exception and for most people it’s just ocd. But if it’s helpful, I’m here to chat if either of you have questions or if I can just provide comfort that either way, even WORSE CASE SCENARIO any of it is true, I promise things will still be okay. You’ll get through it all.
Are you gay?
@Material.Gorl Were you asking me?
@Imaan7 No I am asking Danielle
@Material.Gorl Yeah I’m questioning both sexuality and gender identity! It was extremely (extremely) hard at first to face and even though I don’t have all of the answers yet, i accepted the path that I’m on and I can tell you even if this happens for you, it’s all good :)
@Danielle Well I'm happy that you are happier on this path you are on.. Of course hearing about it makes me anxious but I'm ultimately happy for you. I don't have a problem with being bisexual as it means I can still be with my boyfriend but everything just feels so confusing that in left to think I've been in denial all my life :/ do you have any advice for me? I feel like i can't even picture a future with men anymore 😣
I totally agree - this would’ve made me so anxious to hear awhile ago too and I hope I’m not triggering you both too much. I had a boyfriend too and that was really tough but we broke up for other reasons. I just want to be an example that nothing is as scary as we tend to think it is. My advice would be to go towards the fear and make it less scary, but of course consult a therapist. If it’s just OCD, that will make the OCD go away. If it’s really something you’re into, you’ll see there’s not really as much to be afraid of as we tend to think there is. HOCDgirl I don’t consider myself a lesbian because im definitely questioning and I kind of don’t feel the need to figure out a label so early on in figuring things out. Im probably pansexual if I had to choose a label though!
Also I just want to say - if hearing this makes you feel calmer at all, don’t freak out thinking “I must be gay or I must be trans because her advice made me feel better” lol. Just felt the need to throw that out there because I know how it goes!
@hocdgirl That’s not something I want to get into - it’s not related so I’d rather just talk about the other stuff on here
Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it. Did you attend therapy and learn this about yourself? Or did you recover on your own?
@Material.Gorl I did OCD therapy for awhile through this app and got a good understanding of OCD and how to face exposures, then I switched to a non-OCD therapist who specializes in LGBT stuff who I’m currently with. It’s all pretty new to me and seriously things got really dark before I felt any better but if you ever get to that point, trust me, it’s worth hanging on because things will get better!
@Danielle I also did a ton of research because that’s just who I am as a person. I learned a ton about both ocd and lgbt stuff and it made me feel comforted and less alone to read so many things from so many people.
@hocdgirl I did have a NOCD therapist but now have switched over. I just know I’m attracted to them because I’m attracted to them haha. I used lesbian tiktok as an exposure and realized yeah I’m not straight 😂
@hocdgirl My therapist wasn’t the one that told me - I was the one that told her! No one can tell you your sexuality for you. She’s right about not trying to figure it out which is why you’ll see in my responses I’m not trying to “figure it out” I just am going with whatever feels right even if that doesn’t have a label. I think the key is you saying you’re “scared” you can be a lesbian. Watching any type of porn doesn’t determine your sexuality, but facing the fear part of it is what will make the anxiety go away and then you’ll eventually be content in not having a definition and just figuring it out as you go, whether you’re attracted to women or not. That’s pretty much where I’m at. The ocd part of it is all about the fear.
@hocdgirl If it doesn’t feel good then you def don’t have to leave your boyfriend! You never have to do anything it’s just about doing what makes you happy
im so tired it feels like its true, constant transphobic thoughts mixed in with thoughts if im a boy. istg im a completely different person and so different to everyone dealing with gender ocd. im heartbroken
I cant do anything anymore without my brain dregdging up proof from my past that I was actually trans and didn't know it, and it all seems so plausible. like I said in my last post its unearthing memories that I didn't even know I have. ik this is just ocd tricking me but I feel like I need to review every moment thoroughly bc I have questioned my gender in the past but always concluded that'd I'd happier as a girl (which is true). everything feels so real and it feels like I am just super in denial. also, how do I tell people about this? I made the mistake of confessing to a teacher on a note and only a couple friends of mine understand the thoughts I get, but I don't tell them everything. however its very hard for me to do basic responsibilities like school work and I always end up overwhelmed, so I'm thinking I may need accomdations. I need to get in touch with my counselor but i'm unsure how to explain all of this to her, being that I don't have a diagnosis....also I feel like I can't talk about this with the majority of my friends because gender ocd is rare to have (increasing my doubts) and, at least school-wise, i'm in very accepting environment for lgbtq and I'm afraid they're just gonna tell me to accept myself. I'm scared of doing erp for this because what if I like it (also cant afford therapy). ive also felt very apprehensive around some of my trans friends and classmates because my brain is going crazy asking "what if you're like them?" and I feel so bad and transphobic for these thoughts. i'm genuinely so tired. one of my closest friends died last year, but my father pointed out that my recent mood has been even worse than it was during that time. i tend to bottle up my emotions a lot, so everyone's just telling me to "let it go" and tell people, but if I do that I feel like i'll end up confessing. i'm so tired and lost.
2 nights ago I saw something on my phone and it has now spiraled into me scared of being trans or being gay because i don’t want to be… now i have a huge fear of what if i am gay and am attracted to woman or what if im not comfortable in my body and want to turn into a man. It’s freaking me out - my ocd always makes me question my character! Has anyone experienced this 😩
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