i think i’m starting to understand sexual attraction and my experience with it on a whole new level. maybe some of these reflections could help others with soocd! arousal and sexual attraction are two different things. you can get aroused by many people, but sexual attraction is the mental state of actually wanting to engage in sex - in real life. what i’m starting to realize about myself is that i don’t experience sexual attraction like most people do and i might be demisexual. i need to form an emotional bond with a man in order for me to feel sexual attraction (which is totally different than simply wanting to form a deeper bond before having sex) most people see someone they find attractive and want to have sex with them. now that i think about it, i don’t feel that with anyone ahaha and i actually get a little weirded out and confused when people talk about sex. like just because you think someone’s attractive, you want to have sex with them? why? i can get aroused by different sexual fantasies and erotica that don’t align with my orientation, but when it comes to actually having a sexual attraction to someone, it is with a man and it will come to me only when i’m emotionally connected to him. then the sexual desire follows and it’s usually romantic in nature, but sometimes solely for pleasure

Sexual Orientation OCD

cc97

Date posted: 3y

Wait again why do I feel like I could’ve wrote this myself.. are we the same person 😂

pluralines

Date posted: 3y

really?? that’s too funny ahaha i feel strangely comforted by the fact you relate! and i hope this could bring comfort to you too!

Ridethewave

Date posted: 3y

I really appreciate you writing this. Because I resignate so much with it especially in regards to people talking about sex with people they find attractive or talking about sex in general? I find it extremely off putting when people are super open about their sexual adventures because I am so not comfortable with talking about it, which usually made me feel like there was something wrong with me. So again, I thank you for writing this

Ridethewave

Date posted: 3y

Resonate **

cc97

Date posted: 3y

Agreed!!

pluralines

Date posted: 3y

it’s okay and totally normal to feel uncomfortable! i know that i would’ve appreciated someone telling me that in the past :)

pluralines

Date posted: 3y

oh and you can be demisexual AND straight, bisexual, homosexual, etc. demisexuality is just how you experience sexual attraction. so that was another misconception that threw me off. being a demisexual straight woman seems fitting for me and i feel really happy identifying as that :)

cc97

Date posted: 3y

Yes! Just like asexual. You can be asexual and straight etc.

cc97

Date posted: 3y

Do you find yourself able to accept this? Meaning does your mind make you doubt that as well. I have a difficult time accepting any sexual orientation because I don’t know with 100% certainty

pluralines

Date posted: 3y

@cc97 oh my gosh i just came to this conclusion only today. that label makes me feel so much better about myself and with living - and yet i have already doubted maybe 20 times already ahaha

cc97

Date posted: 3y

@koitoi 100% same irs so frustrating !!

ninkaninga

Date posted: 7w

I get it!! Might be me also

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond