Schizophrenia OCD or fear of going crazy

Yes. A few years ago I had a long episode associated with this theme. I'd research obsessively, I'd anticipate some kind of mental breakdown, I would think things were hallucinations when they weren't. I actually did experience hallucinations due to really high anxiety and sleep deprivation all associated with my ocd. But there were and still are many times something normal happened and I wonder if it was a hallucination. I even felt embarrassed for the compulsion to check whether or not things were hallucinations because it made me cringe? Like I felt that I was trying to convince myself I was special or "worse off" than others, which I wasn't. That's just what my shame told me. Ended up getting misdiagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, and I was being treated for the wrong disorder and it just got worse because that confirmed my fear. I did have psychotic symptoms, but looking back it was clearly ocd because every "psychotic symptom" was linked to my ocd themes in some way. Including hallucinations of my intrusive thoughts being said to me. Horrifying lmao. Even heard outloud voices saying things like "You're schizophrenic." Other than my first doctor who diagnosed me, every other clinician I have had confirmed to me that these symptoms came from ocd. I don't really know what got me out of that spiral of obsession. Possibly a shift in focus on other themes, so my ocd as a whole didnt really improve. And I told myself "even if I have schizophrenia or some other disorder like it, that doesn't mean I can't get treated and live my life." For some reason that lessened my obsession because i stopped seeing schizophrenia as catastrophic (because it doesnt have to be. So many people with schizophrenia live good lives). The fear I would lose my mind or whatever became less obsessive. I'm still scared of losing my mind but I'm less worried about whether or not I have schizophrenia. Anything you go through can be treated. I definitely know what it feels like to wonder if something "worse" is wrong with you. My best friend has contamination ocd and health-related ocd. Fear of having certain mental illnesses/disorders or losing your sanity is almost exactly like (phsyical) health obsessions. You're worried about your survival and your brain is, obviously, a very major organ. Some people obsess over whether or not they have a brain bleed or a brain tumor. Some people obsess over whether or not they're going to lose all control of their mind because the chemicals or the structure might be atypical. Someone with physical health anxiety will interpret every raised heartbeat as a potential heart attack. Someone with schizophrenia OCD will feel foggy, confused, or disorganized and think "Oh, this is the prodromal phase." I hope this helps. Sorry it's so long. I do get it though. That's another thing that helped me. I compared it to health anxiety and realized it's literally just health anxiety but focused one the brain. I used to imagine myself eternally locked up somewhere or needing a 24/hr caretaker because I was so convinced I'd lose my mind. I even felt the need to race toward life milestones "before I lost my mind." Almost like I was anticipating death, but not death.

Oh yes, absolutely. I'd get worried about this as a kid when my anxiety was bad, that I'd start hearing voices. I actually did have a psychotic episode last year. No one saw fit to diagnose me schizophrenic (no hallucinations, isolated incident) but I had a couple tough anxiety episodes worrying about it afterwards. Try to sit with the anxiety and tolerate uncertainty, like any other OCD theme. For instance, maybe I am schizophrenic or developing it - that's scary, but there's not really anything I can do about it. Rather than ruminate on it, I'm going to acknowledge that possibility and get on with my life and do my best to instill good habits to stay of sound mind. There are also schizophrenics who become stable again, or function well with medication, or change their thought patterns to overcome it. Maybe that'd be me. Uncertainty works both ways. Those of us with OCD only think of it in one direction!

I recently read having this fear can make you super sensitive to sounds and visuals. Like scared you may hear something when a fan is on but it’s really just the fan being on and your brain trying to fill in the gaps.