Being good
Anyone else feeling like no matter what they do they can never be a good person? I’ve been having so many intrusive thoughts like: “you’re this, you’re that, are you being a narcissist, a manipulator, a fake person, doing this or that and you’re gonna mess up in this or that and hurt that person’s feelings or someone else’s”. It hs been so exhausting becaude I feel like no matter how much I try being good for others I’m also believing I’m this awful person. Like, I definitely have my things and I have made and still do lots of mistakes, I have a lot of characteristics that are not so great but it’s so emphasised that I can’t handle it anymore, it’s so many accusations and I cant cope. I don’t want to go anywhere, I’m scared of doing things wrong and messing up my friendships and relationships, of being seen as this or that and I don’t even have the self esteem for that. It’s making me so sad, because I wish I could be all of these things that my thoughts are demanding, to be extremely good, but I just know how to give my best and trying the most but I can’t deal with this pressure.