Yesterday was awful

I went almost 24 hours without sleep yesterday and worked a 10 hour shift so when I got home I went to sleep because I was so exhausted and also sad because my mind was driving me crazy I couldn’t even concentrate so I went to sleep and I remember being half asleep last night when my mom came home she was literally screaming at me and I remember screaming back saying that I wasn’t going to talk to her if she was going to speak to me that way and she was being so mean to me last night and I really don’t even want anything to do with her. I’m 23 and can’t afford to move out. I even cleaned the house yesterday for her like she asked me to and she came home literally screaming and yelling at me for no good reason all because I was asleep at 7 or 8 at night because I had gotten no sleep since 7 or 8 the night before. Why would she just scream at me? I don’t understand why she treats me the way she does. Maybe I deserve it? I don’t know

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 2y ago

I am sorry that you are going through this. Oftentimes people do not understand the exhaustion that comes with mental illness. OCD can be so stressful and you need rest for sure. Is she open to learning more about OCD and what your struggles are? Have you looked into any of our support groups, maybe she could even sit in on one to help educate her about this? Not having enough sleep can definitely make things worse. https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/3-ways-to-overcome-the-impact-ocd-has-on-sleep

Username: MagzzzMagzzz

Date posted: 2y ago

I’ve asked her to look into it and to even talk to my therapist and she had an attitude and said she already knows about it that it’s not going to change anything so I gave up. Some days she’s understanding most days she’s not and it hurts because I just wish I could have my moms support and she just doesn’t seem to care

Username: MagzzzMagzzz

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you so much though I truly appreciate it

Username: 26212621

Date posted: 2y ago

You absolutely do not deserve to be treated that way. You’re in a really difficult situation trying to juggle work, Mom’s expectations, ocd and the guilt that comes from all three. Whatever your Mom’s issues are that make her behave the way she does aren’t your responsibility. You deserve to be treated with respect and care. Difficult to do, but try not to take her behaviour towards you personally. It’s about a lot more than you and you are not the cause of it.

Username: MagzzzMagzzz

Date posted: 2y ago

Thank you so much I appreciate it. I just feel so alone. She’s the only person who knows everything going on with me and it feels like I don’t even have her to go to anymore because she puts me down sometimes. I have a therapist but I can’t really talk to them much either most of the time. I feel so alone and lost and scared

Username: 26212621

Date posted: 2y ago

If you’re not comfortable with your therapist you need to get another. You should be able to share anything. You still probably won’t feel totally comfortable because when we’re sharing and at our most vulnerable, it can be nerve wracking. But feeling self conscious and being able to trust your therapist anyway is vital. The good ones give you enough confidence to push on and tell everything.

Username: MagzzzMagzzz

Date posted: 2y ago

I’m able to talk to my therapist I just can’t talk to her anytime I need to because it’s message only until I have sessions and I it’s easier for me to just talk it out than type all the time that’s what I meant by that. I have an awesome therapist it’s just being able to talk at the time I’m in distress that’s rough

Username: MagzzzMagzzz

Date posted: 2y ago

Now my mom is saying I screamed at her first and I don’t remember screaming first. I swear she started the argument and now she’s twisting it on me why would I just scream for no reason? I feel like she’s guilt tripping me. I can’t do this anymore 😭

Username: knowles

Date posted: 5y ago

for the past four days, i haven’t been taking care of myself. i don’t sleep until 5, i wake up at 4 in the evening, i only have 1 meal a day, and i look ill. my room’s been a mess for a few months now so i’ve been sleeping in the guest room. my acne has worsened because i’ve been skipping my skincare routines and haven’t been showering. i feel so sad, i want to be productive and do something that makes me feel useful to others but i just can’t. sometimes i can’t even move. i just feel numb. sleeping has been the only way to really block out my thoughts. when i’m lucky i get good dreams and when i wake up sometimes i pretend those dreams actually happened. i feel like i have no one to talk to, no one really asks me how i’m doing anymore and i don’t blame them because we’re all going through something. but even my own parents don’t seem to bother about how i’m feeling. i just feel alone and i want to get through it but i’ve been too weak to. i don’t like this feeling

Perfectionism OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 5y ago

I had to stay home from work today because even though I was exhausted I got 1 hour of sleep. I work 7 days a week between 2 jobs and I finally said today I need a mental day. I am lonelier than ever and have lost friends over the past few years or just lost touch. My best friend ever stopped speaking with me after a group tour of the UK a few years ago and now someone that was our mutual friend is best friends with her and brushes me off. I tried to reach out to my ex friend and make peace but no answer. She has many friends now and a boyfriend. I realize I had some drunk nights that make people not want to hang out with me but I was up last night feeling complete rejection to the fullest and horrible about myself. At rock bottom I have no one. On top of that I was just in a toxic relationship while living abroad and he turned out to be a chronic cheater and married with 2 kids. I have one friend who speaks to me from LA from time to time but as for here in New York I barely got anyone left and bad memories. I can’t be afraid of not going to sleep every night because of thoughts or depression. My period is due any day which doesn’t help. I was just crying so much last night. I’ve never felt so alone. I just feel like a horrible human being that no one wants to be around and I try to make it right.

"Pure" OCD

Username: Maxine.hizon

Date posted: 1y ago

Worse

I woke up in early morning, I tried to go back to sleep but can't and I look through the phone. Then, I still have intrusive thoughts and I'm eating peppermints, using crystals trying to deal with it. My grandma (we shared in one room) aks me why I'm making noise, because tli using crystals on my desk and I saying"shut" to those thoughts. And then I don't want to disturb to try to deal with intrusive thoughts and then I throw my soft plush toy at her and I scream and told her to stop and I trying to deal. My mom woke up and she got pissed why I'm like this bc I deal with intrusive thoughts. And she made me go sleep in her bedroom and I apologize to my grandma and I didn't meant it. And I cried that why I'm like this? I still dealing with those intrusive thoughts that made me like this? My mom tried me to calm down and told me wait for grandma to woke up as if I go back to my room and never go to sleep at my room with my grandma now. It's it my fault?

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Yesterday was awful

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