I think I experience rOCD when I date but dont currently have (and have never had) a partner. The resources I've found for rOCD are mostly for people in committed relationships, not those on dating apps or wondering about a relationship with a friend. If anyone has any resources or insights for this, I'd appreciate it!
Following!
Following too! I have really been struggling with this. There are a lot of great resources but all for couples… personally, I start worrying about being alone or having thoughts about guys I’m interested in and go down a whole rabbit hole… I think part of the issue in ROCD can sometimes be fear of being alone. Do you feel that ever? Is this a similar experience to what you’re feeling?
I definitely have a fear of being alone but it doesn't exactly show up for me in my ocd thought patterns. My thought patterns are more like - am I attracted to this person enough? Do I actually want to be with person or am I just lonely? So it does show up in a way. I've just found it frustrating that rocd resources are all for couples because what about the people who are out there trying to figure out if they want to go on a third date, or those who are struggline to "define the relationship" because it feels scary? It's a bit of a different situation but there are a lot of the same fears as people who struggle with rocd in relationships, I think.
@Anonymous I totally agree with you. I’ve been struggling with ROCD stuff for as long as I can remember, and have been working through a lot of “single person ROCD” fears. The “am I just settling? What if there’s someone better? Do I actually like this person or are they just there/giving me attention I like? Am I good enough? How can I trick this person into being in a relationship with me? Am I fooling them? How much do I share? Did I over share? I pretending to be someone I’m not?” are things that come up all the time for me. I WISH there were resources for non-coupled people who struggle with this stuff!
@oprender I resonate with a lot of these! It's comforting to know other people experience similar things. I'm hoping to start therapy soon.
@Anonymous Trust me, that will really help. Changed my life. I just asked my therapist if she had any resources like the ones we feel are lacking! I’ll let you know if she says anything about it/gives me anything/)
@oprender Thank you!!
@Anonymous Hey! So my therapist said she has found no info on this… but asked if I wanted to help her create something (get some ideas about intrusive thoughts that single ROCD folks have and such) so I’ll try to send it to you/find you when that happens! If you’d wanna share any, let me know… I have absolutely no idea how the message board works or if we could message each other… but if we can that could be easier:)
@oprender Thanks for circling back! I unfortunately don't know how to message people here or if that's possible haha. Some of the intrusive thoughts I have when dating someone or considering dating them are: - am I attracted enough to them? Am I attracted to them as I was to X person? (Overlap with SO-OCD) - is what I'm feeling the "feeling" or "spark" you're supposed to feel in a relationship? - is there something about them that isn't ideal that means i shouldn't be with them? (Eg not funny enough) - I've had intrusive negative or offensive thoughts about them so they deserve better - I don't love them enough so they should be with someone who does / I'm not attracted to them enough so they should be with someone who is - having a really hard time putting a label on something, even if I'm exclusive with them, because I don't feel like I have enough info to be "sure"
@Anonymous *am I as attracted
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