It’s so hard to tell the difference if I really do enjoy the thoughts and am just in denial that I’m a p so I resist them or just have intrusive thoughts that I like it and I hate it because it’s intrusive and not because it’s true and I’m in denial. Does anyone get what I mean??
I'm in the same boat too. I'm also 20 and I go through POCD real event
I also deal with real event surrounding pocd:(
@aquarius_grl🤍 Where did it come from? I'm sorry to hear that
@BigGip09 It comes from when I was a teen and I’d watch porn that was very questionable and now I look back and worry that that turned me into a monster/pervert and that’s why I have these p thoughts now
yep.
It’s so hard.. cuz it seems like I enjoy thinking about it and it makes me want to not live.. I wish I could know for sure that means that it’s intrusive and that I can recover and it haunts me that it feels real and that I want it.
@aquarius_grl🤍 I know and it is scary, but it does get better, eventually, it just takes time, im having a hard time too, i think i might just give up, i don’t wanna live and struggle anymore, i just don’t.
@Anonymous my mind is constantly running, and i don’t even get out of the bed, I don’t go outside, i hardly eat, but somehow everything is just suppose to be okay, but it’s so hard when you’re arguing back and forth in your mind.
do you want too talk, it’s deborah and i’m really struggling, I feel like giving up, and I was so close too just giving up earlier, I don’t have anyone too talk too, and you’re the only one i can relate too, im sorry for being such a bother, My mom and my boyfriend both get mad at me for talking too them because it’s just OCD, but they don’t understand, and my dad is getting ready too he moved too a assistant living because of his lung disease, also missing my best friend that passed away almost a year ago, and it just doesn’t seem too be getting better, and i’m really depressed, it feels like i have no one, and nothing too live for anymore.
Hey Deborah, I’m going through it a lot as well and really want to give up a lot. Please just know that we are in the same boat and that I’m right there with you in your struggles. We both need to survive to recover and prove to ourselves one day that we know who we really are and we’ll be so happy and relieved that we stayed alive. I’m sorry I’m not very much of a help, I do hope that what I’m saying helps tho.. because it helps me to know that there’s someone else out there in my same boat with the same/similar struggles and symptoms of POCD.
@aquarius_grl🤍 we need to prove to eachother as well that we can get through this time in our lives
@aquarius_grl🤍 yeah, i guess your right, it’s just scary too be with these things and thoughts and not have much of anyone too talk too, I thought I made you mad or something as well, but i’m glad i’m not alone either, please if you need anyone too talk too you can always reach out, thanks for responding, it gives me a little bit of hope atleast.
@Anonymous You definitely didn’t make me mad, it’s just hard for me to talk about it a lot because it makes me anxious to think about and then I start ruminating and such ya know?
@aquarius_grl🤍 yeah i get that, I’m very hopeful we get through this, you are a strong person, and it shows.
@Anonymous Thank you :) I’m trying my best to be hopeful
@aquarius_grl🤍 if you ever just wanna vent i’m here :) you are strong! and these things do not define you❣️
how do u guys deal with it?? Because the feelings that come with the thoughts feel a lot like desire at times, and the only thing that makes me feel better is that I can control my actions and I’d never do anything at all to act on the feelings
It's good that you have the self control to say no and you know you won't do those things. It's just messed up whenever the thoughts come back because they feel real.
The desire feeling can be a confusion of anxiety, which can also be arousing in of itself. Don't pay attention to groinals if you have any whatsoever. I'm glad you aren't doing any compulsions that would not help in the long run
@BigGip09 I have groinals as well as an arousal feeling like I want to think about it more and feel more aroused which is why I said it feels like desire because it feels like I want to act on it in some way but I’d never do that.
@aquarius_grl🤍 Deep down you know you wouldn't want to act on that. It just sounds like anxiety blending in with the feeling of arousal even if it's not arousing. That can happen. What can also happen is intrusive thoughts popping up through genuine arousal and it can make it seem like you liked the thoughts. That can be very debilitating but it isn't true. You can even take that uncertainty as an exposure in a sense. I hope that makes sense.
@BigGip09 Thank you for the explanation! I just have to leave it up to uncertainty because it just seems like genuine arousal and wanting but I just need to keep in mind who I am and know how POCD can manifest in people to make it feel real.
@aquarius_grl🤍 Yes! There you go :) We have to accept the uncertainty of the intrusive thoughts and remember what we truly want and who we truly are deep down. The thoughts will be there unfortunately, but what we do with them can change. It's always nice meeting people my age that go through similar struggles so that we can relate to each other easily and try our best to get over these issues. It helps to know we're not alone.
@BigGip09 yeah I agree :) makes me feel less alone and less like the one “weirdo”
@aquarius_grl🤍 Tell me about it. I'm glad I can help!!
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it certainly does for me :(
idk if any of you guys have discord :) but i joined a server recently if you guys wanna join!
So I was enjoying some “me time” and had intrusive thoughts, but it felt like just for a second I liked it. Like I’m holding myself back from “enjoying” the thought. And the thoughts are related to things I was into when I was younger, but sometimes I feel like I might still like it even though 9/10 I wouldn’t give it a second thought. Is this common? Or is this just denial? Thanks
Does anyone have any advice for how to know the difference between ocd and real feelings/thoughts? Sometimes an intrusive thought will come in and I immediately know it’s ridiculous and I can just leave it alone and it won’t bother me but other times I really really don’t know. It’s when ocd hijacks and twists my real feelings and thoughts and tries to manipulate me into believing they’re something they’re not or something that doesn’t align with my true morals or intentions. But since it’s twisting and mixing with real feelings I get so confused and scared. Everything gets jumbled and I feel like I can’t trust myself or my own mind. Yet other times and other topics I can laugh off and push away just fine. Make it make sense. And then I start to think well maybe I don’t have ocd at all and I’m just in denial because I don’t want to accept that these scary/concerning things are true about myself. Or maybe that’s just the ocd talking.
I don’t know if my hormones are extra wild this month or what, but I have been having so many POCD thoughts lately. It feels like I enjoy them in the moment, and then a few seconds later, I get this tiny flicker of *wait I don’t think I actually want to enjoy that.* It’s scaring me a lot. I was watching adult videos for the first time in about a year, since I had been avoiding them because of my OCD. I know they are not good for anyone, but I felt like i could (ironically it felt like a tiny win that my OCD had calmed down enough). But while watching, I had like 3 separate POCD thoughts. And it felt like I liked them. Like genuinely *liked* them. I don’t know if maybe my body was mixing up physical pleasure and mental pleasure, and then my brain inserted those not okay thoughts into the situation, which got tangled up with the pleasure responses I felt mentally and physically. It is all really confusing. I just feel so scared. I know OCD thoughts are supposed to feel real, and that once you get desensitized to the anxiety, they lose their power. But this feels like I am *actually enjoying* the thoughts, and that makes me want to cry. I’m scared that I actually like these thoughts when I’m really aroused :( Please help.
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