EM77
- Date posted
- 3y
Isss123Isss123
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey, I have these waves of panic too and feeling like I shouldn’t lead on my boyfriend. But then I have moments of clarity and feel a lot of love towards him. I’m really struggling and am so confused too ( I also struggle with HOCD) but please believe me it’ll get better. If you choose to love this person and give them your time then that is love! Are you on medication? I’m confused as to whether mine is working or not ..
Emmi Emmi
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
I struggle with HOCD & ROCD. I hate the times I feel like I "NEED" to be alone and all this will go away. But the moments of clarity are the best even if its temporary, I know where my heart really stands. I wish my moment of clarity lasted longer.
Isss123Isss123
- Date posted
- 3y
@eemmi I feel better when I’m on my own too, I think because I do actually miss my boyfriend but then when I’m with him I’m overanalysing and panicking! The moments of clarity are bliss but they’re so short. I remember a few weeks back I had one of a couple hours and I felt so excited and happy then by the evening it had gone and I was back to believing I was a lesbian and leading on my boyfriend! I hate OCD ❤️🩹
EM77EM77
- Date posted
- 3y
@Isss123 Hey, I’m not on medication and I’m not with a therapist as it’s too expensive so I’m trying CBT online courses and workbooks to help! I started with HOCD recently too and the worry that I’m a lesbian and leading on my boyfriend feels very very real. If I truly was a lesbian and I truly didn’t love my boyfriend then surely I wouldn’t have had that day the other week when I felt in love for nearly the whole day? I’d been having more and more in love moments until a couple of weeks ago when HOCD really started to take hold which is so sad. I wish the loving moments lasted longer too, like you I could be feeling good for a few hours and then all of a sudden I’m back in the negative headspace
Isss123Isss123
- Date posted
- 3y
@EM77 Can you recommend any workbooks??? I really don’t know what else to do at this point. I am on medication but it’s making me feel so numb which is reinforcing my thoughts that I don’t love my boyfriend. I don’t have therapy either, so expensive 💔 It feels so real to me too I don’t understand how even though I’ve never fancied a girl I honestly believe I could be a lesbian. I haven’t got a desire to be with a girl but somehow my brain makes me think I do and that id prefer women to men, only I haven’t experienced it or I’m just in denial. I find the female form sexy and that’s what sticks in my head it goes round and round in loops and then I’m convinced. But it’s nice to know we’re not alone. I hope you’re doing ok ❤️🩹
EM77EM77
- Date posted
- 3y
@Isss123 https://www.rocdtreatment.com/ I found this today which seems promising. It’s not a workbook but it’s online. The Mindfullness Workbook for OCD is supposed to be good but I haven’t got round to ordering it yet. That was my fear with medication and one reason why I haven’t gone for that yet 😕 Same here! I’ve never ever had a crush on a girl like I’ve crushed on a guy. I’ve had crushes on boys since I was very young but always found girls aesthetically attractive. I think the female form is sexy too but I’ve never expressed an interest in having a relationship with a woman. But yeah my brain tells me I’m in denial and if I stay with my boyfriend and get married we’ll one day divorce because I’ll figure out I am actually a lesbian or something. I could accept being bisexual but not lesbian as that just doesn’t align with my experiences both recently and over the course of my life. I’m sorry you’re going through the same thing but it’s reassuring to know someone experiences the same thoughts!
Macc200Macc200
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey i wouldn’t break it off if you’re stuck in this mind set just yet, i understand it feels like you’re drowning. Take a minute to relax and try and focus on the present :)
EM77EM77
- Date posted
- 3y
I really don’t want to break it off, I really don’t, but sometimes it feels like the right thing to do? Other anxiety themes didn’t bother me as much as this one because they just concerned myself, like health, but because this involves another person’s life it’s tearing my apart and I just want him to lead the best and most fulfilled life
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- Date posted
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- Date posted
- 23w
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- Date posted
- 21w
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My bf and I just broke up and I haven’t felt this sort of heartbreak in a very long time. I’m crying all the time and can barely get out of bed. Idek what to do with myself and I’m terrified I’m going to relapse because of all the added stress. I think us breaking up was the right decision but it hurts so fucking bad idek what i should do anymore. I’m not normally the emotional type when it comes to situations like this either. Any advice?
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