My POCD and ZOCD

Intrusive thoughts, groinal responses, the feeling of being attracted to children and animals... I read that from other sufferers as well. But besides that, I do a lot of compulsions and I would love to know, if others do them, too. I avoid children as best as I can. When I am outside (not at home), I check toilet cubicles, if there is a children, even under the toilet, toilet seat and in the bin. I look at the pedals and seat in my car to check, that there is no child, before I enter my car and sometimes before I get out. I tie my shoes in a way that the ends of the shoe laces point inwards, because if they brushed a child in anyway, for me that would mean, that I molested a child. I walk weirdly, when children walk behind me, as I don't want to touch them with the heals of my feet I keep huge distances to children. If I have to walk past close, I press my elbows to my sides and hold on to the ribbons of my backpack, as nothing is allowed to touch a child. Sometimes I left a blanket at home, to check no child is there, before I get under neath it. Does anyone do this kind of compulsions, or similar ones?

POCD

BigGyro09

Date posted: 3y

It appears that you're struggling with a lot compulsions that aren't helping in the long run and you do your very best to avoid children. I understand that because this doubting with POCD is painful and can be very annoying. You're gonna what I'll say but the only way is through with ERP. Proving that you don't have to do compulsions or react in any way when it comes to any thoughts related to POCD. That takes time and practice though.

Zoë_84

Date posted: 3y

I just can't imagine doing ERP alone and then afterwards come to an empty apartment. I suffer a lot from ruminating and I had bad experienced. I did ERP with my toddler niece over 10 years ago and I got so bad afterwards, I had been in 3 clinic in 1.5 years, unable to work. For me that ERP session back fired and I lost everything and had to crawl back to my parents, I just can't risk that again.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 3y

@Zoë_84 Oh. I had no idea. I'm really sorry to hear that. The best way for you to get through this would be guided ERP with an OCD specialized therapist then. I didn't know ERP by yourself was more negative than positive.

Zoë_84

Date posted: 3y

@BigGip09 No, it was with an ERP for OCD specialist back then... But Germah therapist are #^%#, so I had online therapy with an US therapist last year, but I just couldn't do POCD ERP alone, like not having her with me for the first couple of exposures

BigGyro09

Date posted: 3y

@Zoë_84 Do you think you'll still be able to do ERP with an American therapist?

Zoë_84

Date posted: 3y

@BigGip09 Well, my problem is, that they will never be here to go out and face my triggers, not even at the beginning, so I'm not sure. I'd love to get in patient therapy in the US, but that's to expensive to pay out of pocket.

BigGyro09

Date posted: 3y

@Zoë_84 I hope you can find an alternative that doesn't require a lot of therapy. That's another issue I have with therapy aside from reaching out to begin with. Sorry about that

Zoë_84

Date posted: 3y

@BigGip09 Thanks, but I had a lot of therapy in the past 26 years... I'm not an easy case

BigGyro09

Date posted: 3y

@Zoë_84 OCD is very complicated and difficult. Don't blame that on yourself or beat yourself up over it. You didn't ask to deal with this. Unfortunately, it just happened. I saw someone on another post of yours say that you can't fully get rid of OCD, but you can manage it enough to where it's barely a problem anymore. What does help is to be compassionate and treat yourself with care while you go through this. It can be debilitating, but with a little help and consistency, things can improve. :)

Jessie-

Date posted: 17w

Pocd

Anyone experience intrusive thoughts of their children during intimate moments? Have you done erp to this? I had one and continued slightly before running and needing to vomit now feel guilty anyone else experienced this?

GreenTurtle098

Date posted: 14w

18+ TW

Okay so In the moment I get intrusive thoughts about children which I hate. I get the gronal responses which I always so many compultions after. My ocd is very bad and I’m showering and changing my bedding around 8 times. Therapists have told me I’m the worse they’ve ever known. That’s how bad my life is atm. I hate this disorder. I want to know if ocd can cause these things as it will help me to fight my compulsions and just except it’s ocd… In the moment the gronal responses are genuinely pleasurable and I struggle to ignore them and stop them, in the moment t I want them even if it was due to a thought of a kid My OCD will tell me I’m aroused I’ll feel aroused then when moving around in my bed it’ll tell me to make my vagina touch my bedding for a feeling while I’m turning over and I purposely do it in the moment… I hate it. After I do so many compilations, it’s not even me it’s like someone else controlling my body When I try to fight my compulsions I think in my mind “I like this anyways” and actually like the thoughts and gronal responses over the children, which then makes me not be able to fight them. For example my ocf was telling me to spray my feet with anti back, but then I tried to fight it and I was thinking to myself “nah l like this one I like this feeling over the kid it’s the real me” like I didn’t even feel stressed from it it’s like I wanted it. Of corse after these I do lots and many compultions Please I just want to know if ocd can do this

happygirl15

Date posted: 10w

POCD/ Intrusive thoughts & Images

so I’ve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that I’ve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the “maybe”or”i don’t know” isn’t working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that I’m afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there it’ll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is what’s keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. It’s also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when I’m cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. it’s almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know it’s wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i can’t control these urges even though i’ve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. I’ve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friend‘s boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?

POCD

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My POCD and ZOCD

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