need help please since I have hocd I am obsessed with 1 person and as soon as I see them I have a lump in my stomach feeling unwell from stress, nausea... I'm fed up because the fact that my obsession goes towards 1 person disturbs me even more.. i don't understand why I react like this and it scares me that it means that I am attracted to her..
I can see where this would feel really hard for you. Remember that feelings can be the same as thoughts- they don't have to have meaning- feelings can be wrong. Continue moving forward with your life even if the feelings are there- the key is that you do not need to any compulsions to get rid of the feeling- it is just a feeling.
thank you for your reply! yes my biggest difficulty and that as soon as I feel a feeling / thought that I don't like I directly compel reassuring myself, but is it common in the so ocd to have an obsession on a person?
Use their picture in ERP if you can. It works!
okay but do you think is attraction or fear ??
and what am I supposed to do looking at the photo? (sorry I don't have a therapist..)
Soocd has a lot of false attraction. The cause of anxiety and fear and thoughts in your head about that one person will cause you to be anxious when you see them. I experience this too! So everytime is see their photo I get sooo anxious and scared cuz it “feels” as if I like them. Because the thoughts come with feelings too. We also end up keep assuming it means we like them so we have that concept in our head which makes it feel worst.
thank you for your reply but how to stop that? how you use erp for that? my mind also tell me i use hocd as an excuse not to assume my attraction…
@syl47 Like the first person said use their picture as erp! It’s going to suck at first and your anxiety is going to increase but overtime it diminishes. I’m still not recovered from this yet however! It’s still hard for me but I try that exposure often. Also my other problem is I ruminate the thoughts or check to see if I’m attracted etc. so that is another reason why I’m stuck in the loop. So when I start ruminating I try really hard to catch myself and tell myself to stop and go about my day doing something else. It’s hard trust me I’ve been stuck like that for a while but I’m slowly getting better. Also soemtimes you just have to tell your mind “maybe” or something like “yea sure” to the thoughts. It’ll feel scary because it’ll feel “more true” but anxiety diminishes a lot! You can do it trust me!
@Anonymous🧸 I'm very scared but I'm going to try.. I mean I don't really have a choice I don't want to stay like this.. but I'm afraid that exposing myself to seeing her in class will trigger me even more and re-entails the vicious circle..
@syl47 I was and still am scared too! It’s scary but I don’t want to be like this forever! We have to take the hard scary steps ahead to get better! Just exposing yourself will make you one step closer to healing! Also tbh it will trigger you more. But it’s supposed to. Erp is supposed to trigger you but it eventually gets better! It’s not to teach you that your fear is true it’s to teach you that you can sit with the uncomfortable feeling and uncomfortable thoughts. My exposures still give me anxiety and still trigger me and scare me but I’m feeling better than most weeks. Also remeber ocd doesn’t control your life! You can live the life you want no matter what your thoughts tell you. Your thoughts can tell you you like her but you don’t have to!
@Anonymous🧸 thank you! last question.. 😂 If you don't necessarily feel anxiety when you expose yourself, should you stop or continue? and how long should you expose yourself per week/day?
@syl47 I kinda expose myself when I feel as if I need that extra push. If that makes sense. If I’m really struggling I’ll force myself to do compulsions but if I feel ok and I have days where my ocd isn’t bothering me I don’t really do exposures. But I don’t have all the answers to that! That’s just how I do it!
Why does Hocd latches on to a specific person?
I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life I’ve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked “zesty” in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now I’m always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if I’m attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I don’t even know what my sexuality is and it’s really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the way😭😭😭 please any advice or comments
I really need help understanding what I’m going through. For a long time now, I’ve been struggling with thoughts and feelings about women that confuse and scare me. Sometimes I feel this strange emotional or mental ‘pull’ toward certain women — it’s not exactly sexual, and not clearly romantic either, but it feels like something, and it triggers deep anxiety. When I see a beautiful woman or a WLW (woman-loving-woman) couple, I feel something that I can’t explain — sometimes I think it’s just admiration or aesthetic appreciation, but OCD keeps telling me: “You felt something, so you must be gay,” or “You’re hiding something.” I get stuck in endless loops, trying to analyze these moments and label them. Even when I feel physical or emotional reactions, they don’t feel natural or aligned with who I am. They feel like a reaction to the idea of women, not real attraction. I try to be honest with myself — I even told a friend I might be bisexual at some point, just to test if that felt more comfortable. But it didn’t. It made things worse, and I felt like I lost touch with who I am. I don’t want to lie to myself or live in denial, but I’m exhausted. It feels like I’m being mentally forced to feel something that isn’t mine. I’m 14, and I understand that things might still be developing, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve always been drawn to men, and never naturally wanted women that way. Still, I keep doubting everything. Is this real attraction or OCD feeding false feelings and thoughts? Can OCD create emotional or mental sensations that feel like desire? I’m so scared that I’ll lose myself, or find out something I never wanted. I just want peace and to feel like myself again.
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