- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I get how you are feeling because I am currently like this with my boyfriend. Yestoday I was crying my eyes out and I was freaking out because we where talking about how I felt and he was talking to me like he’s the issues. Because I was questioning whether I love him, and if I should break up with him. Which I cried and was almost shouting that I don’t wanna be without him, I can’t live without him. I had a pain like I was on fire in my chest because breaking up with him is not what I want. This is when I found this and found out about ROCD. Which completely made sense to me and actually answer question. Me and my partner want to make me feel better and want to work on my these issues. Which is one of the think I live about him and sometimes it these small things you need to remember. Could you imagen you life without him in a serious note. Not waking up next to him and not seeing him or ever speaking to him ?
- Date posted
- 3y
No that’s what’s making this so upsetting. I can’t imagine my life without him, or waking up without him. We’ve been together for 11 1/2 years now 12 in July. We’ve been having some issues that I know ROCD has magnified greatly! We want to work on theses issues and bc of some of our talks he’s been making steps to change and I see he is trying. I know I need to change to but I am scared if I do I won’t want him anymore… 😢 Our last argument I cried bc I told him bc of mental health issues we’ve been snapping at each other randomly. In all honesty just in this first year alone this is the most we’ve argued in 11 1/2 years. But like I said. No I can’t imagine a life where he is no longer with me or waking up next to me. Or how stupid he acts when he plays his video games. XD
- Date posted
- 3y
@7710 ❤️ I completely understand that, I’ve been noticing myself suffering after I had a mental break down back in March last year. And these thought of mine have been going on for a year. Me and my partner are so sick of it and so done with me being like time. It’s soooo hard soooooo sooooo hard. It feels never ending. I find mine I can just be not thinking of anything and suddenly out of no where it fills that silence.
- Date posted
- 3y
@gingercoooer1209 It’s like no matter how hard I try to ignore or accept how I’m feeling just makes it worse… I don’t wanna break up.. it’s like I know my answer! I hate it… 😢 I don’t like that I feel this way… I don’t wanna know or accept this if it is my truth… 😞 I can’t even tell if what I am going thru is even ROCD anymore…
- Date posted
- 3y
@7710 ❤️ I get that. But like you said you know your answer you don’t wanna break up. That my answer as well but then it comes into is the ROCD playing into reality and making it feel real
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
I know it’s long but plz read :( have been having really bad ocd about my relationship and my partner and it has gotten worse and worse over the span of like about nine months I’d say. I do acknowledge there are flaws and legit issues about him and the relationship like there are with anyone but I also know ocd has clouded my judgement and perception by analyzing everything and compulsions. For a while I kept feeling this need to get out which I know was ocd. I was really scared to spend the weekend with him because I thought I would just be annoyed and irritated cause it’s been that way for a while but he also was going through a period of high stress so maybe I was resenting him for that and I also wasn’t communicating how I should have been when I was upset because I’ve done that too much in the past. This weekend I was told in therapy to just be in the moment and not have to worry about trying to answer the question of do I love him or should I break up. It did help but It’s weird cause this weekend ended up better but I also was kind of numb? Like I was enjoying myself but didn’t feel what I always have felt in the past? Anyway, I am really anxious because i feel like if I loved him I would be supportive of when his parents compliment him or when he does well at something when instead all I think of are that I’m not happy or annoyed because of things he does that upset me or make me mad and it’s like that’s the only way my brain wants to see him as a person. Or when he is upset it feels like I don’t care like I used to because I think of how he doesn’t deserve this when he does this or he shouldn’t have this when he is like this etc. Why does my brain automatically go there? That’s horrible! I feel like I should be excited for him, rooting for him. But it also feels like I do care for him? But my thoughts keep changing. I am afraid I only am with him because I love that he loves me and how he treats me. This makes me feel selfish cause I can’t do that. I notice I still like when he cuddles me and is sweet to me and does fun things watching movies etc. And that’s not how it used to feeel which scares me because I don’t want to be without him. I also love his parents am I only with him cause of how his parents treat me? I feel so selfish and like I have to tell him and break up with him cause it’s the right thing to do. I never used to feel like this. I’m scared. Is it possible I’m just I’ve been mad and resenting how it’s been cause he’s been stressed mix with my ocd? My therapist said relationships can go through phases. Can I fall back in love with him again? I feel like I have to try to start with someone else like this is too far gone. I don’t want to stay in something where I don’t feel toward him the way I want to but I really don’t want to leave him. I feel like such an awful person cause he doesn’t deserve this and is so caring and loving despite everything the major thing that bugs me is how he gets irritable a lot which is an imperfection that makes me get anxious and question him😭 trying not to read into this and just follow what the therapist said but this is scaring me because I feel like if I loved him I wouldn’t think like this or feel like this.
- Date posted
- 17w
Everyday I wake up and start searching for reason to breakup with my partner. I feel utterly confused by relationships and dating. Not to mention, I’m autistic and this has always been a huge struggle for me. In fact, it led me to both diagnoses of ASD and OCD. I can see there are some things I am not happy with in my current relationship and I understand that, but when does it become too much? I started having limerence over a random person because my brain just wants an out so fast. I told myself that I wouldn’t until I get proper help (medication, constant erp therapy etc). Every time I think about breaking up I start sobbing and my body vehemently rejects it. Its really confusing and disorienting for me and cant trust a damn thought in me. I’m scared that I’m just taking him along for the ride and potentially will severely fuck him up emotionally because of this. I guess thats where I can feel the OCD. My fear of being a bad person and the people around me being bad people. I dont know if I need advice because I think this may be me searching for a compulsion to do. But I just want to get this out of my system. I have severe Disney-like unrealistic expectations sometimes. I had to maladaptive daydream all the time growing up to get out of my traumatic upbringing and brain (tbh). I still do. I am aware of that and try to put myself into check. I just cant stop comparing my friends own beautiful relationships to my own. Most of them are in the “engagement” stage of their relationships. Even though it’s ridiculous, all of them have worked on it for many years at this point.
- Date posted
- 16w
My brain keeps comparing how I felt then with the same thoughts to now and how it is diff now to prove it had changed. I’m feeling like I know it isn’t right and that maybe I’d pair better and I want to be with someone who is good for me but I also don’t want to break up and can’t tell if that’s the ocd using his faults against me. I feel like if I were to tell someone I have no feelings at all for him anymore I’d know I’d be lying and doesn’t feel right but when I say the opposite it doesn’t feel right either. I’m also worried that this time it is real and it’s the guilt of not telling him that’s making the ocd worse not that it’s just ROCD. My thoughts are also saying so many diff things I’m confused. It feels like I can’t connect to him anymore or like I don’t have empathy which scares me cause I know I did before and I felt it but is it just that I’m frustrated w some of the issues? But it’s upsetting it feels like I don’t have the endearing feelings and love I felt and I want it to come back but then I also think I don’t cause then it will prevent be from seeing what else is out there And the thing is looking back on how it was I feel like I could def see how that was ocd but this is different… and like I at least felt I knew I loved him or wanted to be with him and i had thoughts of wanting to be with someone who this or someone who this but I didn’t actually want it and now it feels like this time I rly do mean it like I want to find better qualities but I still don’t wanna move on from him and my brain is like wel that’s how everyone feels when they breakup regardless…it rly doesn’t feel like ocd anymore 😭 and my thoughts keep saying if you don’t you don’t like this or that and it most likely won’t change cause you have been with him so long why are you with him and then I feel guilty like I need to tell him
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