- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I get how you are feeling because I am currently like this with my boyfriend. Yestoday I was crying my eyes out and I was freaking out because we where talking about how I felt and he was talking to me like he’s the issues. Because I was questioning whether I love him, and if I should break up with him. Which I cried and was almost shouting that I don’t wanna be without him, I can’t live without him. I had a pain like I was on fire in my chest because breaking up with him is not what I want. This is when I found this and found out about ROCD. Which completely made sense to me and actually answer question. Me and my partner want to make me feel better and want to work on my these issues. Which is one of the think I live about him and sometimes it these small things you need to remember. Could you imagen you life without him in a serious note. Not waking up next to him and not seeing him or ever speaking to him ?
- Date posted
- 3y
No that’s what’s making this so upsetting. I can’t imagine my life without him, or waking up without him. We’ve been together for 11 1/2 years now 12 in July. We’ve been having some issues that I know ROCD has magnified greatly! We want to work on theses issues and bc of some of our talks he’s been making steps to change and I see he is trying. I know I need to change to but I am scared if I do I won’t want him anymore… 😢 Our last argument I cried bc I told him bc of mental health issues we’ve been snapping at each other randomly. In all honesty just in this first year alone this is the most we’ve argued in 11 1/2 years. But like I said. No I can’t imagine a life where he is no longer with me or waking up next to me. Or how stupid he acts when he plays his video games. XD
- Date posted
- 3y
@7710 ❤️ I completely understand that, I’ve been noticing myself suffering after I had a mental break down back in March last year. And these thought of mine have been going on for a year. Me and my partner are so sick of it and so done with me being like time. It’s soooo hard soooooo sooooo hard. It feels never ending. I find mine I can just be not thinking of anything and suddenly out of no where it fills that silence.
- Date posted
- 3y
@gingercoooer1209 It’s like no matter how hard I try to ignore or accept how I’m feeling just makes it worse… I don’t wanna break up.. it’s like I know my answer! I hate it… 😢 I don’t like that I feel this way… I don’t wanna know or accept this if it is my truth… 😞 I can’t even tell if what I am going thru is even ROCD anymore…
- Date posted
- 3y
@7710 ❤️ I get that. But like you said you know your answer you don’t wanna break up. That my answer as well but then it comes into is the ROCD playing into reality and making it feel real
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
I am in a relatively new relationship (around 2 months) and it has been completely virtual due to varying circumstances. I have never been in a serious relationship before and my past “exes” have never been this serious or brought up any of these feelings. About a month in I started having tons of symptoms and thoughts I figured were due to an SSRI change (i eventually went back to my original med/dose) however, it has remained quite bad since. Thoughts include: -I don’t actually like my partner, I just like the feeling of being wanted -I have crushes on other people, including my partners friends who I barely know -I don’t feel butterflies so I must be losing feelings for him -I think he’s ugly/im just not attracted to him -I’m secretly a lesbian and I’m wasting his time by being with him -a general feeling of dread, wrongness, or needing out of the relationship -not being able to believe him when he reassures me about everything -all of the above is just my genuine feelings and I’m using ocd as an excuse These are obviously crazy things to think, however one of my biggest compulsions is confession and self sabotage so I have told my partner all of these things in detail. He’s really great and patient about all of it but I can tell it weighs on him. Hes even recently expressed feeling like it’s his fault and that he wonders if it wouldn’t be this bad if I was with someone else. I feel so miserable but i feel like I’d be miserable in any relationship but im scared that’s not the truth and my ocd isn’t real. When it’s good i feel the most romantic love for him I’ve ever felt toward anyone ever. He’s an incredible person but I just feel so alone and lost on what to do. I’ve literally tried to break up with him like five times and each time we’ve ended up wanting to stay together. I’m really really scared I’ll never get better or this is simply the wrong relationship for me.
- Date posted
- 25w
I feel so lost. My boyfriend tries so hard to help me, but nothing seems to work. Every time he reassures me, my mind finds another doubt. He asks me, “So you’ve been questioning if you love me for almost 2 years?” and instead of feeling comforted, my mind jumps to “Maybe I just can’t accept that I don’t love him.” I keep telling him every thought that comes to my mind, hoping for relief, but it never lasts. I feel anxious, disconnected, and stuck in this endless cycle. He tells me that if I truly didn’t love him, I wouldn’t care so much about these thoughts. But still, my brain won’t stop questioning everything. I don’t understand why I feel this way. Why does it feel like I’m forcing something? Why do I feel like I can’t just know how I feel? I want to feel okay. I want to be present with him without analyzing every moment. But no matter what I do, my mind keeps telling me “What if you don’t love him?” I feel like I’m stuck between wanting clarity and being terrified of what that clarity might mean. It feels so real, and I hate it. I don’t know what to do.
- Date posted
- 14w
I know it’s long but plz read :( have been having really bad ocd about my relationship and my partner and it has gotten worse and worse over the span of like about nine months I’d say. I do acknowledge there are flaws and legit issues about him and the relationship like there are with anyone but I also know ocd has clouded my judgement and perception by analyzing everything and compulsions. For a while I kept feeling this need to get out which I know was ocd. I was really scared to spend the weekend with him because I thought I would just be annoyed and irritated cause it’s been that way for a while but he also was going through a period of high stress so maybe I was resenting him for that and I also wasn’t communicating how I should have been when I was upset because I’ve done that too much in the past. This weekend I was told in therapy to just be in the moment and not have to worry about trying to answer the question of do I love him or should I break up. It did help but It’s weird cause this weekend ended up better but I also was kind of numb? Like I was enjoying myself but didn’t feel what I always have felt in the past? Anyway, I am really anxious because i feel like if I loved him I would be supportive of when his parents compliment him or when he does well at something when instead all I think of are that I’m not happy or annoyed because of things he does that upset me or make me mad and it’s like that’s the only way my brain wants to see him as a person. Or when he is upset it feels like I don’t care like I used to because I think of how he doesn’t deserve this when he does this or he shouldn’t have this when he is like this etc. Why does my brain automatically go there? That’s horrible! I feel like I should be excited for him, rooting for him. But it also feels like I do care for him? But my thoughts keep changing. I am afraid I only am with him because I love that he loves me and how he treats me. This makes me feel selfish cause I can’t do that. I notice I still like when he cuddles me and is sweet to me and does fun things watching movies etc. And that’s not how it used to feeel which scares me because I don’t want to be without him. I also love his parents am I only with him cause of how his parents treat me? I feel so selfish and like I have to tell him and break up with him cause it’s the right thing to do. I never used to feel like this. I’m scared. Is it possible I’m just I’ve been mad and resenting how it’s been cause he’s been stressed mix with my ocd? My therapist said relationships can go through phases. Can I fall back in love with him again? I feel like I have to try to start with someone else like this is too far gone. I don’t want to stay in something where I don’t feel toward him the way I want to but I really don’t want to leave him. I feel like such an awful person cause he doesn’t deserve this and is so caring and loving despite everything the major thing that bugs me is how he gets irritable a lot which is an imperfection that makes me get anxious and question him😭 trying not to read into this and just follow what the therapist said but this is scaring me because I feel like if I loved him I wouldn’t think like this or feel like this.
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