I feel like I’m dying inside and that all these thoughts are true and based in reality and that my relationship can’t and won’t be ok bc it’s interracial. I feel so defeated

Hello crc_1394 - I am sorry to hear what you're going through. I have unfortunately been in the same position myself struggling with relationship OCD. Let me start by affirming two truths - 1) there is HOPE! and 2) there is HELP! There are plenty of folks here at NOCD who are deeply invested in helping people like you better manage OCD and improve the quality of your life (and relationships). One tactic that could help you is "naming the thoughts" you are having. For example, whenever you have those thoughts - breathing deeply and stating "I am HAVING THE THOUGHT that my relationship won't be okay because it's interracial, but that's just a thought." The goal here is both to distance yourself from what's going on in your mind by making note of what your mind is saying (vs. being wrapped up in your thoughts) and to remind yourself that these are JUST THOUGHTS. They could be true, but they may also not be true - and it's the latter that our OCD often doesn't want to recognize. As someone with OCD, I also know that thoughts feel like they can carry a lot of weight because the feelings they produce are often distressing, but as thoughts they are purely images and words produced by our mind, so they do not necessarily dictate reality (in the same way your brain makes dreams, but what you dream isn't necessarily true) or our responses to them. Secondly, in general, the standard therapy for OCD (including for relationship OCD) is called "Exposure Response Therapy" - essentially exposing yourself to the fears and not giving into rumination / compulsions so that you train your brain to "habituate" or recognize the fears may be false / overblown so that it doesn’t react in the same distressing way. I would consult with a NOCD therapist here – since they’re the experts in guiding people through this therapy. I have benefited tremendously from it myself! Godspeed on your journey to managing OCD, and you’re stronger than you think!