Real Event OCD Confessions

Also I am not laughing at u I’m just like wow ME.

I apologize but I don’t feel comfortable sharing at the moment. I’m afraid that someone’s response may trigger me to overthink more or even worse trigger a compulsion. I want to speak with a therapist first (first meeting ever is tonight). I know I wasn’t much help to you but it looks like you have been going to therapy for almost a year now for OCD (looked at your profile). Has your therapist given you any advice on this that might help me that you feel comfortable sharing? Again sorry for not being able to provide you with more info

@Betterhelp No it’s ok!! I’m an open book so I’m like always blabbering about stuff on here. My therapist at the time told me to sit with it and resist compulsions. I can manage with physical ones but mental ones are way harder to sit with. I haven’t seen a therapist for my ocd in a year because I finished the sessions and I grew so much from it. The thing that helped A LOT was writing worst case scenarios, she said write it as a story. And re read it until it becomes just a story. I confessed one thing to my partner a year ago and I didn’t tell him everything because I was afraid and I didn’t want to hurt him more & truthfully it wasn’t his business. But my ocd said “just this and that’s it” and a year later I’m wanting to confess the full truth about what I told him & MORE. We were not together when I did things and he was awful to me & did stuff. I felt guilt and confessed and he didn’t. I just found it out on my own. So I’m trying to deal with that right now. I’m sorry I hope I did not trigger u but wanting u to know ur not alone. I’m feeling what u feel. It’s very hard :/

@Anonymous Thank you. Did your therapist offer any advice on how to determine if something “bad” you did is worthy of confessing or not? That’s what I’m struggling with right now.

@Betterhelp No. At the time I didn’t have the confession compulsion. I didn’t even know it was a thing until a few months ago when I had the biggest urge to do it. I know that for years I had these things to myself though and it never occurred to confess it. I got a trigger of like idk let’s say seeing the guy, or if my bf says “ur hiding stuff!” Then I think omgomgomgofmomg I am hiding stuff!!!! So when I get into freak out mode and have that super strong urge to tell him, I can figure out it’s ocd because if you just feel bad about something u did, u will talk about it or let it go. It’s that simple I feel like. But I did figure out that since me & my bf have a rocky past & we never acknowledged it, we have to talk about the past to move forward from it. U can kind of trick ur ocd like that. Without confessing more but just discussing important things in ur relationship and maybe even asking ur partner like hey do u want to discuss this? So if they straight up tell u no, u can resist it. My issue is I think he wants to know everything and it makes me feel bad he doesn’t. Idk I’m working through it now. If you did stuff when u we’re not in a relationship, I don’t think it’s worthy to bring up. That’s my REAL opinion, my ocd opinion is UR A LIAR FRAUD SCREW U! So I mean lol u figure out what is true or not. It’s very hard cuz everyone is different

@Anonymous Also the fraud liar is what I say to myself like my ocd says to me I guess smh. Ocd is an asshole

@Anonymous OMGGGG same here!!!! I did confessed things but OCD says I need to tell all the details of what happened years ago!!!! I just can’t, I don’t want to hurt my relationship. Its a horrible theme.

@Betterhelp If you already confessed things than I would suggest you not to do it anymore. This is a compulsion. Ocd makes us feel guilty and tricks us into “if you confess everything you will be ok” and its lie. Iam on the same boat as you right now. Do not give in in the compulsion. OCD will never “tells” us is OCD, rather something really bad we need to confess.

@Luli I agree with you and thank you for the response. My issue is that some things are real and some things in life do need to be confessed. I am doing better about not giving into compulsions but how do I know when a confession is actually needed and is not just another compulsion?

@Luli My therapist said: no confessing!

@Luli I didn’t do this but hypthotically what if I cheated… surely there are cases where confessing is necessary and separate from OCD and differentiating between the two is what I am struggling with

@Betterhelp And I was doing good for years than last month I had a huge trigger when the person from my past tried to contact me. So now Iam back with this crappy fear again. Iam doing ERP this time.

@Betterhelp Ok… your sentence started with “what if”… right there you know its OCD.

@Betterhelp I feel like if you broke a huge thing like that in your relationship, the best thing to do is confess that. Not in a “omgomgomg ocd way” but like if my partner cheated I’d want to know. Because then it’s their choice if they want to be with you after that infidelity. But everyone is different you know? Some wouldn’t care, some would etc. i have friends who have cheated and I feel bad for their partners cuz they have no idea & to me cheating is in no way acceptable but they don’t have ocd so they don’t sit and ruminate on the thought. I don’t think they’re bad people but I don’t agree with their choice. If you’re trying to confess a small lie you told to like protect someone’s feelings about a time in ur life where they were not even apart of it, then no. No need to confess anything. THIS IS JUST MY OPINION.

@Anonymous I agree with you.

@Luli Too bad my ocd doesn’t agree with me :(( LOL it makes me think if I don’t tell my bf that the person I confessed to him about we actually slept together 3 times not 1 then I’m a liar and the relationship is doomed & he doesn’t accept all of you!!! LIKE GIRLLLLLL LOL WHAT!?

@Anonymous I like to laugh at it cuz wtffff!? He treated me like shit & we weren’t even TOGETHER and he slept with someone else 3 times too LOL I just feel bad I lied but I was trying to protect his feelings & our relationship AHH OCD I HATE U LOL

@Anonymous Omggggg!!!!!! Yes!!!!! My OCD is like: if you don’t confess every little detail than your relationship is over AND… you might be exposed one day and it will be worse…. Shut up OCD!!!!!

@Anonymous It’s unbelievable! I thought I was alone on this one!

@Luli Not alone at all. I didn’t know it was a compulsion til a few months ago! Cuz I confessed this thing to him the first 3 months of us dating cuz he was talking to the guy! I didn’t tell him about for YEARS cuz I didn’t do anything wrong. I know logically and everyone even him knows that. He just puts a lot of stock into the truth but yet he has lied… smh lol but I wanna do better from now! And it’s hard cuz ocd won’t let u start over. Something will ALWAYS bother u!!!

@Anonymous Yeap!!!! Exactly! And of course my OCD is like… I got you now… you can’t scape from me because you actually DID IT! 😩😩😩😩

@Luli It’s so much worse when it’s something u did. Like ppl make mistakes dude! And my bf has made PLENTY of them but he’s an Angel in my eyes but I’m a walking devil and IM A BITCH 😂😂 smfh

@Anonymous Ohhhh same here honey!!!! Lol

@Betterhelp What you did is properly not on a cheating level. This is your OCD I believe.

@Luli I have to ask, what are some things that help you to not confess? Or if you have confessed

@Anonymous What helped me is that I realized that confessing will only make things worse. You confessed the most important thing and OCD will ask you more and more and it won’t take you anywhere, as a matter of fact your ocd will get worse. I had the sickening urge to confess so many times and I did resist, than that’s when I was like… hey Iam glad I didn’t confess more because I realized it was not necessary and that was my ocd and I was ok with it. The guilt eats me alive even though my partner himself says it was not a big deal but again he is not a saint either lol

@Luli I found out that resisting to respond is a huge help! As sickening as it is because I feel physically sick I will sit with and not give in. I am like: look I already told him the important things now the rest or what ocd he s telling me to tell him does not matter anymore. Its hell but it’s doable.

@Luli Okay. Yeah see last year I gave in instantly cuz I didn’t know it was ocd. And I worded it perfectly so that I didn’t give him too much info. And a year later my ocd is like hmmm u lied tho u gotta tell him the real full truth. I do have some issues with our relationship that does involve our past that I wanna talk to him about so I figured out a way to trick my ocd by talking to him to feel better about the past to move forward. More so cuz we been having issues regarding stuff from the past and it’s clear I haven’t moved on from MY past or his. Just try to put it out there we both did stuff with other people and we’re both not innocent and we don’t need to disclose everything rn but we gotta be able to talk about it at least maturely and move forward

@Anonymous I agree! Did something triggered you this last time? I wish I could move on, because he moved on. I guess for us ocd sufferers is harder because of the guilt?

@Luli I think so. I mean if ocd can convince us we’re gonna die if we don’t flip a damn light switch 4 times then I can see how it’d make us guilty for stuff we actually have done even if it was justified… and yeah tbh I triggered myself & didn’t mean to. I looked at old texts from when we fought over this guy and I saw how i lied about being with other ppl & how I lied how many times it happened & then spiraled. That was like 2 months ago 😭

@Anonymous Awww yeah I can see how that can be a trigger. For me the person involved in my event tried to contact me a month ago after 5 years. I literally freak out! My OCD started saying he is a stalker and from there I got stuck. I was extremely rude to that guy and blocked him… Iam still traumatized… in fact I have been since 5 years ago with a fear in the back of mind.. what if such and such contact me again… and it happened so yeah. I decided to start ERP because I can’t carry this guilt anymore. I can’t control who tries to contact me vut I can control how I react to. So I need to learn 😩😩😰😰

@Anonymous And I told my partner but OCD took another turn with the urges to tell detail by detail 😩😩 but I wont give up on that.

@Luli Ughhhh I’m so sorry!! I have a very creepy ex who has done these similar things!! But he kept following my friends and dm’ing them asking about me and then my sister like being a creep, I started to get really scared!! So I lowkey feel for u. I didn’t tell my bf cuz he’s blocked and I can handle it myself so I’d say you handled it yourself. It’s ok to disclose that ya know just like oh this weirdo hmu but also if u handled it well which it sounds u did and didn’t like be nice or meet up w/ him u did nothing wrong in my eyes. But I get ocd will say confess!!!!! It’s hard I’m sorry :( I hope he really leaves u tf alone lol some guys are fucking CREEPS BRO

@Anonymous Ughhh it was enough to freak me out! The audacity they have to try contacting.