- Date posted
- 3y
I need some help guys.....hocd I think
I feel like I want this. I have so much junk in my head. I get these weird feelings in my head. Because it's such a mess 😔
I feel like I want this. I have so much junk in my head. I get these weird feelings in my head. Because it's such a mess 😔
I can't feel shit for women sometimes and feel like I'm forcing it. It used to be so natural
In my mind I try and think of women and my minds like eww. Its so depressing. And thinking that I'm not going to feel the same again sucks
👍
I’m so sorry this has been such a battle for you. Try not to attach meaning to the feelings, just let them be there. Are you practicing ERP with a therapist?
No but I did have therapy with specialist. Didn't help. I don't know if these are real feelings or not. And I think if it's real I'm going to feel like this forever
Hang in there buddy, my suggestion is if the thoughts don't align to who you are or what you feel but only create a lot of doubt and questioning - chuck it, you not trying to deal with the junk is the key here. Let it give whatever it can, but you're stronger than that. Sending positive thoughts your way!
That's the problem I don't know if they align with me or not. i don't recognise myself in the mirror anymore it's horrible. Thanks for your support buddy 👍
So play a game with yourself, everyime your brain is demanding an answer- don't give it absolutely. Just start with a 5 mins, then to an hour and keep practicing it. Trust me, you're gonna kill it buddy
I just get guys popping into my head like celebrity's or people I've seen etc. Just let then be there?
Just it be there, ask it for more, tell it what else you got? Give me every thought, imma not give ans answer. Again, not giving the answer is the key!
Thanks mate 👍
I'm finding it hard not to give in. Ie reacting to the thoughts and feelings. I feel so pissed off and stressed 😔
No worries. You gotta keep practise it. It's so long for me now. But still I lose to few thoughts and that's okay
I get angry also and short with family members and get annoyed with myself. Which makes me feel like it's denial
Hey buddy I need help. I keep trying to figure out if the thoughts are true or not. This is true torture
Hey buddy, sorry couldn't get back to you. Yes it does happen. Your brain is anxious all the time it could be the reason. Just believe in yourself and don't respond to every thought of it
No worries mate. It feels as tho I want to be with a man. With these feelings etc.....its horrible 😞
I know right. It feels and you don't embrace it so you don't have to pursue it, try practicing to figure out who you like.
Try to figure it out ? Or don't?
Don't try to figure it out. Figuring out means you looking for certainty and it the core flaw of ocd
I feel like I just want to shout out ok I'm gay. It's been this way for nearly 2 years. I just hope to god this is hocd?
It may be or may be not. It could be hocd or you could really be it. You're supposed to resist to know the answer. Btw, I feel that too, out of nowhere, I have this voice shouting I'm gay and it feels so scary
Stay strong mate. I'm here for you too even tho I'm struggling. I have the same shit in in the head as soon as I open my eyes
I can't concentrate on anything films or anything. My life literally sucks. I get angry and short with people and it's not fair on them 😒
@Ihateocd83 How r u feeling now
Yeah you cannot concentrate because you're not present in the moment. When you're watching a movie, try to get back to watching a movie you don't have to figure out your sexuality during that time
It doesn't leave my mind😔
You there mate ?
Believe in yourself buddy. Challenge yourself. Be like, imma sit out this movie no matter how distress I'm feeling
It's the negative thinking in your brain is doing and you are mentally checking. Try to resist that, if you're consciously have preference, that is what you are
What do you mean preference buddy
Preference means you know you like a cerrain gender right ? That's your preference? If your brain is giving you other gender thoughts and you don't like it, those are intrusive thoughts
Yeah....but I definitely can't feel what I used to for the opposite sex. Because I'm anxious all the time and have these feelings of being with a man. But no I don't want it at all. But my mind tells me otherwise 😔
That's the hocd trick my friend. Please explore about it alot. You might get an idea about it.
I have watched so many videos etc....do you have any recommendations?
Watch they call me Jesse videos
Why does it feel like I want it. Its just to real ? 😔
I just think how can I have a relationship with a woman again. With this going on ?. It makes my feel so sad
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
I’ve been dealing with SOOCD for over a year now, and I have been having a very hard day today. I feel like I just need someone to talk too, my whole life I’ve always had girl crushes and always wanted to be romantic with women . Ever since I posted this picture on instagram and one person said I looked “zesty” in it , which is when I started obsessing about being gay . I feel like I put so much meaning to these thoughts where now I’m always checking how I feeling around men. I had a really bad porn addiction for a long time and bad anxiety which fucked up my sex drive. I feel like I doubt if I’m attracted to women when I know I am , but the doubt is so overbearing where I start to believe it . I never was interested in men sexually, and my ocd makes me feel like I like the thoughts even though I feel no pleasure out of it. I feel like I lost who I am as a person . It feels like I don’t even know what my sexuality is and it’s really upsetting to me . I meant this girl the other day and she is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met and I just feel like ocd is getting in the way😭😭😭 please any advice or comments
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond