IAmGoingToOvercomeOCD

Date posted: 3y

Failure

I just asked my husband to come home from work because I was having scary thoughts, I immediately started thinking I was about to lose control and go crazy, and it terrified the hell outta me, I started trying to think of what I could do to escape that feeling, who I could or would call if I were to lose control to help me, I went into a full blown panic attack and my heart was racing, I was shaking, sweating, thoughts were overtaking me, and I was scared to death! I told my husband I felt sick, and to please come home, but I’m not sick I have crazy thoughts that I’m scared to be alone with! I am a complete fking failure, why and I’m sick of living this way! Why must this be so debilitating and fkd up?! What did I do to deserve this?! I’m growing weaker, how much longer can I do this? 😢

Harm OCD

Nica

Date posted: 3y

Have you looked into NOCD therapists for OCD? This is the best app/place to find help and get better.

IAmGoingToOv...

Date posted: 3y

Yes I’m currently doing ERP, but failed miserably today! I feel like a complete burden and failure! I’ve had this for 24 years now, and it’s taken so much from me, I am trying to be strong but this is the devil!

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@IAmGoingToOvercomeOCD I am so sorry you are having such a difficult time. First, you did not fail miserably. ERP work is very hard and regrettably sometimes it feels like we are regressing because we have these spikes. Think of it this way - you are exercising a new muscle to get control of ocd. It is not going ti happen overnight. Please be kind to yourself. This is hard work. I hope this helps you.

IAmGoingToOv...

Date posted: 3y

@Jeffrey Thank you so much, I needed to read that today. I’m trying to be strong, this is a nightmare. 😔

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@IAmGoingToOvercomeOCD I have been there. You are strong. The fact that you did ERP is not easy and it takes a strong person to face their fears. I promise if you keep practicing it will get better but sometimes it goes back and forth before it gets better. And also remember that this feeling will it last forever.

IAmGoingToOv...

Date posted: 3y

@Jeffrey I just feel like I failed because I felt scared enough to call my husband home, he’s always so supportive with things like this, but I didn’t want to tell him this was going on out I’d fear he will entirely get tired of it and leave me, so I said I was sick. I lied, and now my OCD has me thinking I’m a bad person for lying, it’s an endless cycle. 😞

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@IAmGoingToOvercomeOCD I am sorry. I would encourage you to have a talk with your therapist and get some suggestions on how to address this when it comes up. Perhaps it is when you are not alone. I am not sure. But you had a setback not a failure. There are no failures in treatment.

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

@IAmGoingToOvercomeOCD And when the ocd says you are a bad person say maybe I am and maybe I am not. I don’t need to figure that out right now.

Nica

Date posted: 3y

@IAmGoingToOvercomeOCD Everyone makes mistakes and it’s a learning curve for everyone when you start out. Just work hard with ERP and your therapist and don’t continually beat yourself up if you slip up once in a while.

mirbrach

Date posted: 3y

I have harm ocd and and now rocd and it is really tough but we got this.

sweetsunflower

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

i’m with you, harm OCD is the worse in my opinion, im trying so hard to practice my ERP and the past couple of weeks my OCD has spiked so much. we’ve got this. one day at a time and things will get better.

Jeffrey

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Things do get better. It is a long road and it will have lots of up’s and downs. But the payoff is well worth the effort.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 21w

I can’t stop panicking

I don’t know what crack my hormones are on this week but I’ve had like 4 different panic attacks at work today. I sometimes think it’s so silly that I was diagnosed with panic disorder until this starts to happen every 4 weeks. Panic attack followed by panic attacks all day for days. I feel like I’m going insane. I’m scared I’ll get reprimanded for staying in the bathroom for so long but I can’t have a panic attack out there in front of everyone :( I feel so scared ugh

piercethetayy

Date posted: 19w

Rough day

I have hold back my tears . I’m trying so hard to play it off. I can’t think about it anything without on the verge of falling apart . I have no self control over my mind . I’m scared. Is this a psychosis . I have barely eaten in days . My stomach is growling but I have no appetite. Idk what’s going on . Normally if I have a rough week I can fight it but I can’t fight it this time. My biggest fear is loosing my bf. I’m spending the day with him and all I can do it think about what’s gonna happen when I leave .

laladracu

Date posted: 18w

a thought?

I cant get over this thought that is messing my recovery up so much. it was “if you dont act on your thoughts this will never go away” which led to thoughts like if i even wanted to get better, if i even want my life back, if i even WANTED this to go away, etc. im scared. im confused. is this normal? am i gonna have to act on this stuff now? im mainly concerned about my family. i dont wanna hurt them. this disease is horrible. this subtype is horrible. i love my family. why would i want to hurt them? im so afraid this is it for me. i try to do what everyone tells me. ignore the thought, let it sit, sit with the uncertainty/discomfort but the anxiety doesn’t go away. this thought keeps coming back with a vengeance. i thought i was making great progress but im back where i was. i ruminate about this 24/7 and i dont know how to stop. we tried sitting on the couch together last night and it felt like i was RESISTING hurting them. im in constant awareness that i can act on these anytime and it hinders my daily life and work so much. everytime i talk to anyone in my family i feel things like i shouldnt be talking to them if im gonna hurt them and i dont deserve to be around them. i feel like i dont deserve to be alive, i dont deserve to be happy, and i dont deserve to be comfortable. i feel like a psycho whos never gonna get to live life with a husband and family. i feel like i don’t deserve my sweet boyfriend. i dont want my thoughts to latch onto him. this is my mind when i wake up, when i try to go about my day, and when i go to sleep. it feels like it just wont dissipate regardless of what i do. the cycle never ends. its been 4 MONTHS. what the fuck do i do anymore

Harm OCD

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