- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Past
My OCD literally takes everything from my past and uses it against me as proof of my theme… it’s very convincing too 😑
My OCD literally takes everything from my past and uses it against me as proof of my theme… it’s very convincing too 😑
Same
Sending you strength and hope. I’m in a very anxious state right now
Ugh I’m in the same place now I HATE IT
How long have you been suffering?
@OCD33 For about almost a year. But in the beginning it was very mild but it has been very bad and extreme for the past 6 months
They are . That's the reason before knowing its ocd i thought it was my reality. And now ocd is trying to use that time against me!
I’m so sorry you are suffering too
Yup!! I agree
And it’s triggering when people are like “remember who you were before this thought” well this theme has been around since I was a kid so nothing is clear.
@OCD33 I get so triggered hearing that because I’m like I can’t even remember who I was. I feel like I’ve completely lost myself and have no idea who iam
@OCD33 I have the same thing that’s going on with me that’s one of the main things that I have but it doesn’t matter what you did in the past it just matters what you like now because everyone has did homosexual things in the past and their childhood it’s completely normal
@OCD33 OMG THIS IS THE EXACT SAME FOR ME!!!!!!!!! do u wanna talk
@ocdanonymous! Thank you so much for commenting!! It makes me feel much less alone!! I thought I was the only one who felt this way!!
@ocdanonymous! OKAY!! we are the same!! And then things that I did when I was young young are like proof and because I had the thoughts so young it’s like what’s real 😩 and what’s my ocd. I didn’t know it was ocd up until like 3 years ago… so all this time I was like omg this is real and I hate it
@ocdanonymous! Yes!! And when it came on strong again three years ago after my harm ocd it was like debilitating. Like this “theme” has always been around but I didn’t know it was ocd. But then I got hospitalized for harm ocd (didn’t even know ocd was this) this theme came back in full force to the point where I wasn’t eating, sleeping, out of mind. Now it’s just like always there. But I can at least function. But it’s so frustrating and exhausting
@OCD33 i am so so sorry ..
@OCD33 i feel that completely
@ocdanonymous! Have you done erp?!
@OCD33 a bit but actually my therapist (not nocd one) reccomended instead of erp i focus on cbt mindfulness. wbu
@ocdanonymous! How’s that going? I’ve done erp twice. It’s a lot. And I fully can never do the response prevention part because I’ll ruminate and try to reassure myself.
@OCD33 and to label thoughts as thoughts
@ocdanonymous! I’m so sorry you are struggling… it feels dangerous to just not do anything about it. I’m like constantly trying to solve this question that I’ll never get an answer to. But if it gives hope… I’m getting married in 3 months so don’t ever let ocd win.. go towards your values and what you want. Have you thought about getting an ocd specialist?
@OCD33 my therapist is trained but i may need one more familiar w soocd?? also i am so proud of you! that is so so so beautiful ✨🦋 no doubt you will be free of ocds grip one day
@OCD33 I feel this.. each someone say that I’m like I can’t relate with them because I have this from so long ago that I can go back to when this started .. how are you doing today?
That feeling is by far the worst
@OCD33 🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️ ouchhh
I’ve had different themes of ocd throughout my life. Can they all differ such as how the thoughts may present? Currently my thoughts feel so true immediately (like they genuinely feel like what I think) but in the last theme I feel like it may have been more of a “what if I think this” type of situation
I don’t even know where to start because there’s so much going on in my head and it feels like there’s so much evidence for every thought. Like my ocd feels like it doesn’t just have one specific theme it’s honestly every theme and it just switches throughout the day depending on the thoughts I have. This started all about a month ago, this whole ocd flare up. I’ve been diagnosed with ocd for about 3 years now and looking back on my childhood, I feel like I’ve had it for probably my entire life. My grandpa just recently died back in February and I feel like this whole ocd spiral is a result of dealing with grief especially because it didn’t even hit me for the whole month of April for some reason and things felt “normal”. But since this ocd flare up has started I’ve been constantly reviewing and revisiting my past, all my childhood memories and so many of them are terrifying which is weird because I never had a traumatic event hppen to me as a child. I feel like it’s always been “self-inflicted” trauma if that makes sense? My mind is telling me so many things related to so many topics like maybe I liked my family member as a kid and have just hid it to fit in with society? That my anxiety as a kid has caught up with me and I’m turning into a psychopath? That I’ve always been a creep and enjoyed looking at peoples privates or chests, etc but just ignored or allowed the thought this whole time. Also before this whole flare up I remember always feeling on autopilot and not really alive like everything I did I just felt numb about it. Which aids my ocd to tell me that these feelings are real and the thoughts are true and that I’m “waking up” or realizing or something. I haven’t felt such intense anxiety and distress since I was a kid and I didn’t even understand my own thoughts. It’s like I’m either hyper aware or totally unaware of what’s going on around me and it gets me thinking about my existence, personality, what my role in life is and like genuinely what I’m even doing in the moment like what’s the reason behind everything. I’m constantly questioning my intentions because I don’t know if they’re true or not and it’s like my ocd doesn’t even allow me to consider the thought it just jumps to conclusion. Like telling me I’m guilty before proven innocent. It honestly feels like so much at once to even simply call it ocd or anxiety because it feels like a crisis and any moment I could spiral and breakdown completely. Going to school everyday feeling like anytbing could trigger a panic attack at any moment makes me feel like I can’t be left alone with my thoughts. And like overall since I got down this rabbit hole, my first obsession was harm to myself, then it was harm to others specifically my family, then it was being a pervert or pedo, or being attracted or someone or something I shouldn’t be, which then makes me question my existence and who I am along with also being hyper aware of my facial movements like my eyebrows, nose, etc. Like why does ocd have to involve itself in every aspect of my life? It feels like there’s always something wrong that I need to fix.
With real event OCD, I don’t know if any of you feel this way, but do you ever feel that the past event(s) that you ruminate about or constantly obsess about are gonna come up in your future and just absolutely ruin you, that’s how I’ve been feeling for months, it just feels like impending doom, and I hate having to even think that my future would be ruined by what I did as a teenager, and I did some dumb things, that I regret so deeply, I just can’t stop thinking about that.
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