- Date posted
- 3y
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 3y
Hello geminileo - I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Just know that 1) there is HELP and 2) there is HOPE. In my hardest days trying to manage OCD, I had similar thoughts / feelings, but just know that there are plenty of people who not only know what you're going through, but want to support you in managing OCD. If there is one thing that I have taken away from learning to better manage OCD, it's that thoughts / feelings are not always reflective of reality (the core of what OCD treatment seeks to emphasize), and that support in the form of therapy / medication / etc. can make a tremendous difference in living according to my values / goals and not based on what OCD says. Also, when I feel sad because of my OCD, I try to remind myself of a silver lining - I believe OCD has made me more empathetic of others' suffering, helped me develop grit in the face of adversity, and has helped me live my life fully in other realms (e.g., go to the gym when I don't want to, ignore the little annoyances of life, etc.) because I have gotten so much practice pushing towards my goals in spite of the distress / strong emotions / painful thoughts / etc. You are not alone and are certainly worthy of all the good that life can afford others that don't have OCD. I personally believe that OCD can be something we deal with - but it does not define who we are! I would encourage you to reach out for support, and godspeed on your journey to managing this - you're stronger than you think! Also - I would consult with an expert like a therapist / psychiatrist / doctor first and foremost. I can speak from my personal experience, but they know best! Good luck!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
tw . . . . . . I don't want to trigger anyone, so please be warned before reading. I'm feeling pretty hopeless. I don't know if I deserve... anything. I've had two therapists now tell me I'm normal and I don't need to worry so much, but I find it hard to believe them. Just when I think I'm doing okay, thoughts flood back in. I feel like the world is better off without me in it and that others would agree if they weren't a paid therapist there to give me reassurance. I'm tempted to break up with my boyfriend because he doesn't deserve this. I want to pretend I'm okay for the sake of my parents. But if they passed away, I'm not sure I'd have much strength to live for myself. This feeling is pretty bad right now. Overwhelming. I have absolutely no love for myself. I can't even distract myself by watching TV or shows I love, because all I can think is, "Look at those people. They deserve to live and be happy, and I'm not one of them." Gah, this is bad. I'm an adult, and I feel like such a baby for feeling this way. How dramatic am I? How can other people have similar (if not worse) thoughts than me, and then still be ok with themselves? I miss the person I used to be. I miss feeling okay. I feel ok momentarily, but then it all comes crashing down. I can't stand it. All I want is for things to go back to how they used to be.
- Date posted
- 21w
I feel like a horrible person who doesn’t deserve to live. So even when I start feeling better I feel like I don’t deserve that. I just feel like a bad person who doesn’t care about anyone
- Date posted
- 16w
I genuinely can't help but feel irredeemable over every little mistake made or regret I've had. It's so up and down, but I just miss the certainty. Knowing "this is who I am." I'm so disconnected from myself. Like, I'm really, really trying. Today is really rough... I got triggered the other night, and it's been hell since. I've been fighting seeking reassurance. I want it so, so incredibly bad, but I know it won't help me :( Some days, I just don't want to be here. It's funny because yesterday I felt amazing until I got triggered. I just immediately spiraled after that. I don't know. Does it genuinely get better? Will therapy really help me? Sometimes, I think maybe this is the best it'll get, and that scares me. Sorry for the vent. I'm just feeling so overwhelmingly anxious right now. I can't even cry (due to Zoloft). It feels claustrophobic somehow, having all these emotions trapped inside of my body with nowhere to go 😭
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