I feel so alone and I feel so annoying and that I don’t deserve anything good at all. I don’t know how to stop feeling like this, I think last night really triggered me because I am just so sad right now and I feel like a fraud and that I don’t deserve help or good things.

Hello geminileo - I am sorry to hear what you are going through. Just know that 1) there is HELP and 2) there is HOPE. In my hardest days trying to manage OCD, I had similar thoughts / feelings, but just know that there are plenty of people who not only know what you're going through, but want to support you in managing OCD. If there is one thing that I have taken away from learning to better manage OCD, it's that thoughts / feelings are not always reflective of reality (the core of what OCD treatment seeks to emphasize), and that support in the form of therapy / medication / etc. can make a tremendous difference in living according to my values / goals and not based on what OCD says. Also, when I feel sad because of my OCD, I try to remind myself of a silver lining - I believe OCD has made me more empathetic of others' suffering, helped me develop grit in the face of adversity, and has helped me live my life fully in other realms (e.g., go to the gym when I don't want to, ignore the little annoyances of life, etc.) because I have gotten so much practice pushing towards my goals in spite of the distress / strong emotions / painful thoughts / etc. You are not alone and are certainly worthy of all the good that life can afford others that don't have OCD. I personally believe that OCD can be something we deal with - but it does not define who we are! I would encourage you to reach out for support, and godspeed on your journey to managing this - you're stronger than you think! Also - I would consult with an expert like a therapist / psychiatrist / doctor first and foremost. I can speak from my personal experience, but they know best! Good luck!