- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah im confused i wanna know too
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 3y
How do you know? Basically if you have ROCD then it’s almost always related to ROCD. Like the comment above. ROCD is manipulative and lies to you to confuse. You will never have certainty and will neeed to accept and believe that it isn’t you but the ROCD beast
- Date posted
- 3y
Idk why he suggested breaking up. I've broken up a few times with my gf (longest lasting two months) and it never gave me any answers... idk if I'm just fucked up
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 3y
My bad. I didn’t proof read. I don’t mean to suggest breaking up. It was supposed to be symbolically, by imagining how you would feel. And if you don’t miss them I mistakenly put it could be ROCD. That was wrong. Its the opposite. With ROCD you will always have those feelings towards them regardless unless enough time passes without contact you would eventually move on
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 3y
There are a few ways. If it has an obsessive quality to it where you desire doing certain things to calm your stress down, it’s probably OCD. Another WAY, break up with them. Wait a few days and see how you feel. If you don’t miss them or think about them often, then it’s probably ROCD
- Date posted
- 3y
so if i don’t miss them or think about that em often it’s probably ROCD? how if i don’t think about them?
- Date posted
- 3y
@FunkyFred I think that's a typo.. or just a confusing sentence. I wouldn't recommend dumping someone to test it out though!
- Date posted
- 3y
@kiki_ yeah i wouldn’t recommend that either tbh
- Date posted
- 3y
@FunkyFred I think the question you're asking is *the* ROCD question.. and it's impossible to ever answer. You can keep collecting data, but any little thing someone says can change it all. I have struggled so hard with this question. Ultimately it can't be solved and needs to just exist there.. like, in hindsight I can tell which relationships I have been in that weren't right for me.. but back when I was in them I believe I still had some knowledge of what was what. But then I know that can be super triggering because if someone told me that while I was in a relationship, then I'd worry that deep down I know the relationship is wrong. So yeah, I think maybe there's cues to tell the difference, but ultimately this is an ocd question that can't be solved.
- Date posted
- 3y
@kiki_ right because back then, i knew when relationships weren’t right for me, because the people treated me poorly.. but it’s sad when i have someone so good & i question everything.. ugh i hate it here
- Date posted
- 3y
@FunkyFred I know :( I was just in a relationship with someone I honestly would like to spend my life with. I can say that clearly now, but I had such bad rocd in the relationship. Fortunately, there may be a second chance in store for me. But yes, it's so tough. Trying to solve questions that have no answers is awful.
- Date posted
- 3y
@kiki_ aww i’m sorry to hear you guys broke up.. i’m rooting for that 2nd chance for you.. i know you’ll know how to go about it the second time around.. thank you for taking the time out to comment to me. I appreciate it. (: xoxo
- Date posted
- 3y
@FunkyFred No problem, it helps me sort my ideas and remind myself to be more compassionate to MYSELF. I'm scared to go back in and have ROCD kick my butt though, but hopefully I can manage n not have it end again because of it. :,(
- Date posted
- 3y
@FunkyFred Don't end things with them. I did and I regretted an hour later. It made it so much worse for me.
- Date posted
- 3y
@kiki_ Just always remind yourself it’s ROCD.. and ROCD is a liar.. and remind yourself how sad you felt once you ended it due to fear, you’ll be fine. I believe you can do this. Don’t let OCD take a relationship you treasure from you. It’s crazy how I can give advice but can barely take my own lol. xoxo
- Date posted
- 3y
@SkyeV thank you (:
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 3y
@FunkyFred My bad. I mistakenly put ROCD. If you don’t miss them or have the obsessive feelings for them when they are gone. It’s probably not OCD related
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
What if I really don’t like my partner? What if I’m gaslighting myself into thinking that my intuition could be OCD? What if we’re just not meant to be? I’m so confused
- Date posted
- 21w
So I haven’t been diagnosed with ROCD but I’ve kinda self-diagnosed myself because of my repeated thought patterns and my way to escape them by searching for answers online (“signs I love her” or taking “do I love her or am I attached/codependent” quizzes) and asking loved ones how they knew they were in love. But recently I started to question this symptom of ROCD, wouldn’t someone in denial about loosing feelings for their partner do the same thing? (try to look for reasons that they do love their partner) I started to feel emotionless and apathy for my partner around the 3 month mark but as we grew closer and had real and emotional talks I started to regain my feelings. But sometimes when we are cuddling i’ll get this sudden emotionless feeling and it gives me anxiety. (It also scares me to think this started at the 3 month mark due to the 3 month rule phenomenon I see on social media) Our relationship has always been soo healthy, I really love my girlfriend and I know it but Im not to sure if i’m actually “IN LOVE.” I sometimes get intrusive thoughts about her looks and feel like im in love with her physical potential rather than how she looks now and that feels so wrong but don’t get me wrong either I still still think she’s beautiful regardless of how she looks. I love everything else about her like her personality, kindness, generosity, and loyalty. She’s my first girlfriend so I don’t know how to distinguish between loving someone and being in love with someone. I also don’t know how to or how it feels to move on from someone after so many emotional/special moments with them and the thought about starting a new relationship makes me feel uncomfortable and is just something I don’t want, hence the feeling that I might just be attached/codependent. I feel so uncomfortable when thinking that if we break up I might never see her again and we’ll never get to rejoice in sharing these emotional, special, and beautiful moments. I want it to be her that I spend the rest of my life with so badly but I feel like my mind is stopping me from picturing a future of us together even though that’s what I really want. (writing this sentence^ I got the intrusive thought of “are you sure that’s what you really want” and now i’m questioning myself) I also can’t help but feel this intense anxiousness in my chest and an inner gut feeling/voice telling me to break up with her without any reason other than because I have a strong feeling she isn’t the one. I haven’t acted on this feeling because In the case that I do have ROCD I know this gut feeling/intuition cannot be trusted. I also read, in the case that I do have ROCD the way to treat it is to endure the anxiety and face uncertainty but I feel like there is no uncertainty about my relationship. I feel 100% safe with her and that she won’t cheat on me, so why do i feel like this!!! I don’t want to endure this anxiety forever, I’m so confused! I’m currently looking for therapy to help decipher my feelings correctly and see if I’m experiencing ROCD. But according to what i’ve explained.. Is this ROCD or DENIAL about losing feelings?
- Date posted
- 20w
I just saw my boyfriend, and even though everything was okay on the outside, inside my mind it was a storm. I kept having thoughts like: “You don’t like him.” “You’re not feeling anything.” “You’re pretending.” “You don’t care.” And then, he said something sweet — something that should’ve made me feel happy: “We should marry.” And instead of warmth, I felt anxiety. A pit in my stomach. A voice in my head saying: “You don’t want that.” “You’ll never stay with him.” “If you really loved him, you’d feel joy.” And I hate it. I hate that I’m in this state. I don’t feel connected. I don’t feel clarity. I don’t even know what I feel anymore. I just feel… numb. And the worst part? It feels like I don’t even care. But I know I do. Somewhere, beneath all the noise and panic and obsessive thoughts, I care. I want to feel close to him. I want to stop second-guessing every word, every touch, every thought. This is ROCD. It makes me question everything. It makes me feel like I’m lying — even when I’m not. It steals the moments that should feel warm and turns them into confusion. If anyone else feels this awful mix of numbness, fear, and guilt — please tell me I’m not alone.
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