Advice needed!

hey everyone I mostly need some advice because my anxiety and ocd clouds my judgement. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for almost a year and I’m so in love! he’s my longest relationship and makes me very happy, but my ocd really attacks everything since I care so much. my question is kinda pertaining to social media. basically I’ve made it clear to my bf there are girls I don’t want him following on Instagram or liking their photos due to their past and just it’s my own boundaries. he’s listened and it’s cool. but I feel hyproctital Bc there’s an ex or past fling or someone I used to talk to but in a more flirty way or two I still follow/ follows me because idk I just didn’t have a bad enough ending or really cared to cut friendly ties like that, I would never cheat or anything. I don’t talk to them but I’ll see their stuff and maybe like a photo or they’ll like mine. I feel like this is being hypocritical and cheating even tho I’ve brought it up to him and he hasn’t told me to unfollow or anything? idk I literally talked to him about it tonight and he didn’t say anything making it clear he wanted me to unfollow? is it possible he just trusts me and doesn’t care hahaha? I’m not sure if it’s wrong in general to follow an ex or ex fling that I don’t rlly talk to but aren’t on terrible terms w bc it’s not super deep and it’s not like I’m constantly engaging in convo w them or want them. it’s kinda hard to navigate relationships and social media tbh lol. any advice is helpful thank u :)

an0nym0us

Date posted: 3y

hey! it’s definitely not cheating but everyone has different boundaries. for me, my boyfriend unfollowed girls that he’s talked to or would bother me but had never told me to unfollow guys i’ve talked to in the past or dated or was bothered with me following them. i was given this advice for anxiety that if it continues to bother you in the next 24 hours then bring it up to your partner so i would ask your bf to talk to see if it bothers him or what boundaries he has with it :) make sure to make it clear to him that you want a straight forward answer so you know what makes him comfortable or not!

an0nym0us

Date posted: 3y

also with social media, if you see anything concerning “relationship advice” or anything to deal w a relationship (esp. with tiktok) just swipe out of it because i’ve felt more at ease with ignoring it

cutefluffybu...

Date posted: 3y

@notreal Omg please tik tok is so triggering everything is like ur bf is cheating on u etc and it’s so bad! thanks 4 this reminder

cutefluffybu...

Date posted: 3y

it helps that u point out everyone has different boundaries..,. Like I’ve made it very clear what mine are and we even went through his following together lol but when I say stuff about mine he never is like you need to unfollow these ppl. he just doesn’t seem to care and I think it’s bc he doesn’t think social media is that big of a a deal. I’m gonna talk to him tomorrow, thank u sm :,)

an0nym0us

Date posted: 3y

@cutefluffybunnies no literally my bf had me delete tiktok for a month when i first found out about rocd

an0nym0us

Date posted: 3y

@cutefluffybunnies yeah ofc!! im glad to help :)

daisy1728383

Date posted: 21w

Is this controlling ?

Hi guys me and my partner have been together for 4 years, he used to suffer bad with rocd however has now made a good recovery with minimal struggle. Back story my ex and his ex used to be controlling with each other to the max When me and my boyfriend got to together I did think he was controlling however 4 years later he’s now not however he’s been recently asking me to remove all men I don’t know that follow me on insta unsure if this is controlling? I have 2.5k followers post a photo about twice a year and when I do it’s either of me and him , selfie or our dog. It feels wrong he’s asking me to remove all men I told him that and he said to just remove all good looking men instead if I don’t want to loose lots of followers advice please

JazzyRoses

Date posted: 19w

Being Cheated On OCD

Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭

LV4523

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 17w

Need advice!!

Ok I need any and all advice 😭 please help. I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and feel deeply connected and happy and in love with him. My ex and I were first loves and on and off basically for 5 or so years until I met my current bf. During that time we both were toxic and back and forth and he did some things that were really hurtful. We never really had an “ending” or any actual closure to anything? I just kind of started talking to and liking my current boyfriend. I saw my ex a month ish ago at the bar and wasn’t very nice to him. I was like hyper aware of how I was behaving around him to make sure he didn’t get the wrong idea. I know he has had a really hard time moving on from me. Since then I feel like I have not been able to stop thinking about the past and am questioning a ton about my feelings. I do have ROCD, and I don’t know if this is solely because of that or a mix of that and the emotional loose ends? I don’t know. But I’m feeling such an urge to text him this whole paragraph I’ve drafted about closure, how I don’t even need him to respond, but I just need to get some things off my chest. I feel SO conflicted about sending it. I do not want to rekindle anything with him, but it’s just the principle of texting your ex that makes me feel like I am betraying my boyfriend now. Yet it feels like it’s weighing on me so much - and I’m like is ocd involved? I just don’t know if I should send the text or not. If anyone has been in similar situations or has any helpful advice I would really love and appreciate some because I feel so stuck.

Relationship OCD

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