I check mated myself this time

I'm currently obsessed about my sleep. I get worried all day long about it, and when bedtime comes, it's pure hell every single day. I always slept like a baby. 7-8 hours without waking up once mid-night. I know they all say OCD content is irrelevant, but what should I do here? Expose myself to a sleepless night? I already do that, not on purpose, and get terrified when that happens. It is even worse when I look for help. They say I should exercise (check), eat healthy (check) and get good sleep ( that's what I'm trying to do!)

"Pure" OCD

Nica

Date posted: 3y

You have to accept the fact that you might never sleep again on your own and have your body pass out every single time instead of you putting yourself to bed. Are you in a sleep schedule? You wake up at X time and you go to sleep at Y time, no wavering.

Rodrigo Gier

Date posted: 3y

I try to. I mean, before becoming an obsession, sleeping was the least of my worries. I would care about it only an hour before bedtime. I'd go like "alright, it's 12:00pm now, I'll go to bed by 12:30, fall asleep by 12:40 and wake up by 8:00. And so it used to be. I wpuld fall asleep instantly, and wouldn't wake up until the alarm clock hits. In fact, I always hated sleeping, as I see it as the greatest waste of time possible. Turns out I'm also hypochondriac, so I know I need to rest. It's a vicious cycle: worried about not sleeping=more anxious=harder to sleep.

Nica

Date posted: 3y

@rodrigogier From the sound of it, that’s not a good sleep schedule unless your work is later in the day and you get off in the late afternoon or even evening? Just as an example, I go to bed around 9:30pm-10pm (weekends I stay up later) but no matter what, I wake up at 7am—unless I’m sick and need extra rest or I’m on a fancy vacation. I used to go to bed at 1am and wake up at 12pm-3pm, if that’s HORRIBLE for your body. So, go to bed at a certain time and wake up wt a certain time no matter what. You might have to go a few days in a row with only 5 hours of sleep, but you need to get your body on a schedule. It’ll get sleepy on it’s own when you “deprive” it of sleep.

Nica

Date posted: 3y

@Nica But that’s horrible*

Rodrigo Gier

Date posted: 3y

@Nica Yeah, I know. But I work all day long and go to college at night, so I can't go to bed before 11pm or so. I feel like I'm living in that movie "50 first dates" with Drew Barrymore and Adam Sandler. My life lasts a single day only, and I end up my day facing my demon. It's not a thought you can push away and forget about eventually. Night will always come with bedtime.

Nica

Date posted: 3y

@rodrigogier Set up a sleeping schedule around your daily schedule

Rodrigo Gier

Date posted: 3y

@Nica I'll do it.thank you so much. It's so weird like, when sleeping is not my obsession, I sleep like a newborn baby. No other OCD themes have kept me from sleeping. It's like, I know everyone faces sleepless nights sometimes, but I just can't accept that. What's even more weird is that what really scares me is not the trashed sleepy feeling the day after, but the idea of tossing and turning in bed, and failing to sleep. If you were to tell me " Ok, you will go under a sleeping experiment, and must stay awake for 4 days". I'd be totally ok. I remember even trying to stay awake all night while playing games as a teenager, and felt really happy when I finally did.

SMS719

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 15w

Feeling hopeless 💔

My ocd has been at an extreme all time high the past 2 weeks and I am in dire need of some relief. I’m not sleeping right anymore. for context: I live in the south and found a springtail on my sheets about 2 weeks ago. This was like 2 days before our bug guy came and sprayed (it’s a normal maintenance thing here) so it’s a common bug down here and I’ve found them all over different areas of the house before. Finding it in my bed sent me on a bit of a spiral bc I started to doubt if it even was a springtail and that i was wrong and that it was a bed bug, not trusting my brain. It was a bad, sleepless night and carried over continuing feelings. Typical ocd stuff. Well two days later, I’m a nurse and I had a patient that actually had bed bugs. This wasn’t the first day they were here and I did not see any myself but it still freaked me out. There had one 2 founds after visitors came the day before. Of course I wore PPE in the room (coveralls shoe covers and hair net) going in and took everything off before exiting the room. When I came home I stripped in my garage and bagged everything down to my shoes. Threw everything in the wash and did multiple cycles. There were no other steps I could take but I still had a terrible night. Hours of ruminating and going back and forth about tracing my tracks, thinking of new ways I could’ve taken one home with me. Just checking everything. I was already on a spiral from the springtail. Having two such back to back triggering events for me so closely related has made me deteriorate significantly. I was already doing bad with my normal OCD and starting therapy here. I obsess over the thought of having bedbugs constantly and haven’t been able to sleep. I am constantly checking my bed while in it and can’t settle down. My bed is heavy too and I keep hurting myself lifting my mattress to check. But I need to check. I’ve become obsessed. I check everything and go down Reddit rabbit holes looking for new things. And of course, I talk myself into it every time. I can’t take it anymore, it’s bleeding off into other parts of my life like friendship and marriage because I am so high anxiety right now. I need relief so bad. I’ve never felt this unstable to be honest. I feel like even someone without ocd would be really struggling with this topic, nevermind me, with ocd to a point where I just started treatment. These aren’t even my normal intrusive thoughts and compulsive acts. It’s just taken on a life in the last week and I can’t find any sign that it’s going to slow down. when I think rationally I know I did everything right to prevent but I can’t shake it. 💔

baukje

Date posted: 14w

Erp for insomnia ?

I have, alongside my other OCD themes, an intense fear of insomnia. Although this has been improving somewhat — partly thanks to medication and The sleep school on YouTube — I still find myself ruminating about it throughout the day when I have something important the next day, I get stuck in the fear that everything will be ruined — for both myself and others — because my mind is so preoccupied with sleep. + a fear of depression coming back. It honestly feels like a form of sleep OCD. I'm not sure if that’s an official thing, but that’s how it feels to me. A form of erp is the idea of befriending wakefulness. That works great tbh. Things like sleep hygiene, meditation, etc. — tend to backfire because my OCD latches onto them and becomes too obsessive about “doing them right.” I’m genuinely wondering whether ERP — for example in the form of a worst-case-scenario audio loop (imaginal exposure) — could be helpful in this case. I’m hesitant to start unless I know it can actually help. Is there anyone who has experience with this or thoughts about it? I’m not looking for reassurance or tips to fall asleep — only for ideas on how ERP might be applied in this situation.

moon0270

Date posted: 12w

Why is it this way

I feel like my life isn't my own anymore. I live by OCD's rules. I can't ever switch it off. I spend most of my day mentally reviewing and constantly checking myself. I have to do things in a certain way or i dont feel safe. All this time that i've lost and for what? Idk how I let thoughts have so much power over my life and yet here I am. Every day. I can't even get away from it in sleep because i have dreams about it and I wake up anxious if i manage to get any sleep at all. I'm so over it all.

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I check mated myself this time

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