SOS SOS
So I stayed the night with my friend and I couldn’t stop having intrusive thoughts the whole time and I also couldn’t stop checking. Ugh I hate this. I thought I was ready but I guess not. Help!! Has anyone else ever done this ?
Remember that the liar is not you, its your brain. I try to remember that always. I have never date a boy so its hard. I don't want to even now boyfriend because i want to get better first. I have had many many crushes but when my soocd pop up i dont feel anything to boys anymore. I remember i was always so nervous around them and everything. Now its gone. And that fact that i have never had a boyfriend also triggers me. I think about all the time what if i dont like to be with boy. All my friends is trying new things and living like teenagers and i am stuck on this hell. It hurts so bad.
My friends ask me all the time for come over and spend night girls only. Before i went always. Now i just can't because of this. I feel you. They think that i just didn't want to. I want but its so hard because the thoughts and everything.
Sorry my english, i am Finnish.
@Finnishgirl123 No you’re okay! And yes it does suck. I never wanna stay the night with a girl ever again because of this. I felt so uncomfortable
@maliaparks Same!! I lose also my friends because of this. I dont see them during freetime. I am outsider now.
@Finnishgirl123 I just want it to end ugh. I don’t want to be gay at all. I love my boyfriend to death and I want to marry him someday. :(
Aw I’m sorry to hear that. But also, it may be good for you to talk to a boy because even though u may not be “attracted” to Him, you may learn to look past that and fall in love with his personality and how much he cares and loves you. That may make u feel attraction for him down the road. Your heart knows what you want and it takes a while for your gut to catch up with your mind.
Yeah
This sounds like a major exposure, and you're incredibly brave for going through with it! Above all things, you should feel proud of yourself for even considering doing this exposure! Working toward not checking or not ruminating is pretty hard. People like us get stuck in a pattern of trying to figure out how to answer an unanswerable question when we really don't need to be wasting our energy doing that. Give yourself permission to be mentally lazy and not check or analyze your thoughts. If you can, you should try this exposure again. The more practice you have resisting your compulsions, the easier it gets.
Someone reply ? I am absolutely shattered, my whole body aches, maybe I got an hour sleep if I was lucky, but don't remember sleeping at all. It's clear to me that I can not sleep round anyone's house but my own. I slept at a friend's because of my pocd because I'm so scared of my head. I told my cousin about my intrusive thoughts whilst a bit drunk last night by text, I said I had to stay at a friend's but I lied and changed my ocd into a different thing. Because it was clear to me that she wondered why I avoid my nephew. So I said I was worried I'd throw him out the window. Cause of course I couldn't say I'm worried everyone will think I'm a pedo cause I think I look shifty in the face around kids. And she said why are you worried about throwing him out the window he is just a little boy. Well of course that made me feel absolutely shit, and now I'm worried she'll tell everyone. I made it clear that I'd never act on the thoughts and she said oh I get it. But she might tell people in the family. And then everyone will think I'm horrible. Someone help. Also anyone know how I can make myself sleep when I get home when he has hopefully gone home? Also I feel so bad about not staying because he begged me to stay ?
I’m at my friends house right now, I spent the night for New Years and I kept looking at her to much while talking. My brain immediately went to, “what if you like her?” And I got this really weird feeling in my chest and stomach, that made me panic even more... I got up and went to the bathroom and started looking on this app for something! And then I started thinking, “what if I’m bi?” That scared me more, the thought of me being with a girl makes my stomach churn... I then started to shake my head like I usually do to get the thought to go away, and it wasn’t working... WHY WASNT IT WORKING!? IS IT NOT OCD?! AM I JUST FAKING IT ALL!?! I NEVER USED TO THINK LIKE THIS BEFORE!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO ME!!! I just want to go home and cry all day...
I was fine a few days, weeks ago. I think I relapsed. I’m not sure. But I went to visit my mom because she needed a ride, and I got some really awful evil intrusive thoughts. So I left, and apologized for leaving. But now I feel like I did something or she’s mad at me, or she thinks I did something. I want to visit her and my family but I genuinely don’t trust myself right now. I feel awful and exhausted , like really really tired, so I’m not sure what to do. I know locking myself away isn’t the answer, but I’m scared of these thoughts. Can anyone else relate?
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