Experiencing sudden, constant harm OCD thoughts—am I alone in this struggle?

just a couple days ago i experienced this for the first time from watching the new DAHMER series. Im having intrusive images and thoughts of me harming or killing my loved ones and its so scary because i would never do it. It has me questioning if im crazy and im having severe panic attacks over 3 times a day. Im mentally and physically drained, i’ve told my mom about it and we are going to see a therapist tomorrow. Im scared to because idk if they specialize in OCD and if i tell them my thoughts they are gonna put me in the mental hospital or say im crazy and don’t have OCD, can any therapists on here or fellow people with Harm OCD let me know if you think im showing signs of it, i just want it to go away and to be able to sleep at night without severe overthinking.

Hi everyone had a question I am 42 years old until about 7 months ago my ocd has become so bad almost debilitating. I think I have had ocd since my mid 20s but it was barely there and it would sometimes almost be non existent and I didn’t even know it was ocd until I was diagnosed four months ago It was always my family getting hurt especially at night I was convinced that someone would break in the house and murder us. Or a fire would start but j would just check the doors and stove appliances a few times before bed nothing to time consuming and I never had panic attacks or the physical symptoms of anxiety, I did do weird rituals like I blessed things that fell on the floor because I thought something bad may happen to my kids which seems strange and I would put clothes away a certain way or again something bad would happen and I hated the number 6 so the volume can never be on 6 things like that. When I type if I didn’t get the word right the first time I’d have to erase the whole word and start over sometimes the whole sentence which was super annoying! But since I had my daughter 4 years ago I would have this weird fear with knifes like only I could wash them and put them away or someone may accidentally stab themselves or someone else, and I began to get intrusive images of someone trying to hurt my daughter or someone would kidnap her or she would stop breathing at night but it all was pretty tolerable until out of the blue I had a really bad intrusive images of me hitting her in the head with my phone it’s scared me so bad I had a panic attack and started questioning why would I think that?! Then a week went by and another intrusive image of me hurting her and then eventually it was anything and everything in my house could be weapon to hurt her i was terrified I googled it and realized it was intrusive thoughts and it was harm ocd 😞I have been really struggling since and that was 6 months ago I try to tell myself that they are just thoughts and it’s just my brain being hyper vigilant to protect her but I fear that the more I have them I will do them in my sleep And the physical sensations of anxiety and panic attacks are unbelievable sometimes Can anyone relate to their ocd becoming worse almost overnight later on in life I want my life back I’m so sad I’m scared to sleep at night I just want this all to go away Any tips it’s hard not to react to the thoughts when it is about harming your own child who I love soooo much And please tell me this is ocd

I’m wondering if anyone could please give me some advice/tips on breaking this cycle? I have had OCD for 12+ years, however I have only recently been officially diagnosed. I’m struggling significantly with harm OCD, involving thoughts/urges of harm towards other people, particularly my loved ones. This is incredibly distressing to me, as I don’t want to harm anyone and it is constantly sending me into severe distress and panic attacks. I understand that I need to lean into the discomfort/accept my thoughts to move forwards, rather than pushing it away as this adds fuel to the fire - but every time I do, I have a panic attack. My mind constantly tells me I have to act on the urge to get relief and that it’s the ‘only way’ out/to feel better.. I’m stuck in this habitual/learnt behaviour cycle, as I’ve always acted on my urges (not involving harming others) for the past 13 years to get temporary relief and to neutralise thoughts - Every time I think that I need to act on the urge or as though I’ll snap and act on it, I feel terrified and scared, then feel very distressed or have a panic attack.