Cheating Ocd please read

I remember a few months ago my boyfriend cousins were coming to pick him up and I remember feeling like I wanted to Show off meaning like walk outside and let his cousins see me . They were in the truck waiting for him.And I believe I questioned myself about it but I’m not too sure . I feel like I was emotionally cheating . Honestly before I met my boyfriend I used to walk in places thinking everyone was looking at me bc I was cute . Mainly males . I guess I’m a bit narcissistic. Everyone has narcissistic tendencies but I feel like I’m a little bit more narcissistic than usual when it comes to looks . I felt like I was trying to fish attention from his cousins and now I feel bad and that I’ve cheated . Deep down I don’t desire to be with anyone else but sometimes I feel like I be showing off and maybe those tendencies are linked to it . I guess it’s an ego problem but I’m also very insecure so I don’t exactly know what to call this . Hopefully someone can relate

Princessandt...

Date posted: 3y

Hey! This literally sounds like you are describing me! I do and have done the exact same thing. You innately desire that like attention from people, you want to be seen, remembered, marveled at. For me I wanted them to want me and or like me. It was never a problem until I got into a serious relationship either. I was so torn up about it I told my therapist at the time and she told me that there is nothing wrong with wanting attention. That there are different personality types and she told me how people like actors and people in show business love attention as well and needing or wanting some doesn’t mean you are cheating or don’t love your boyfriend. Some of it can be personality and that is perfectly normal. I also have relationship ocd and with that combined it makes it feel like we have to question our entire relationship, motives, and everything. We internalize it and go out of control with doubt and guilt. If we feel we are wanting attention allll the time and doing things on purpose to get it we can try to find an outlet for it, like finding a place to shine. Or just learn how to cope with it and resist some of the behaviors to form habits that are not attention seeking. Like resisting ocd urges we can also learn to resist these types of urges if we feel they are not what we want.

Tiredoflife

Date posted: 3y

Thank you so much for this comment . Unfortunately I feel like my mind will still find questions to answer. As good of a comment this is . It’s hard not to seeek reassurance and confess . Cause you don’t know if it’s not really a big deal bc my ocd makes it a big deal . When it first happened i dismissed it as ocd and tried not feed into it . I vividly remember me wondering why I was trying to do that . And I didn’t engage and it went away . I just kept saying it’s ocd but sometimes I wonder if I shouldn’t have dismissed and told me boyfriend

Tiredoflife

Date posted: 3y

I can’t even remember if I went outside while they was outside I think I went out after they was driving off but I believe I was going to do it tbh. It felt like I wanted

Princessandt...

Date posted: 3y

I totally understand, it’s really hard. The OCD is unbearable at times and I definitely don’t have it all under control yet, but that is just what a therapist told me and it gave me some hope

Em2003

Date posted: 22w

I really really need input

Sometimes I catch myself looking at people, specifically men, a little too intently. I feel like I do it to seem prettier or more attractive, but I also think kinda enjoy seeing how they get flustered, I’m not sure. Even though it never goes beyond that, I still feel like I have cheated on my boyfriend, or at the very least, that I am being disrespectful to him. I feel like I’m almost flirting. I don’t know if this is some sort of distortion and or if this is normal. I’m really freaking out to the point where I’m nauseated. Please help. I can’t stop panicking.

JazzyRoses

Date posted: 19w

Being Cheated On OCD

Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭

Marrkk22

Date posted: 10w

Real event cheating

So I’m 22 and have had ocd my entire life. I’m about to hit 1 year in my relationship. I’m extremely happy and haven’t really had any rocd problems. Which is great. So here’s the problem. About 4-5 months into my new relationship I was bored one night and couldn’t sleep. I must’ve doom scrolled TikTok and Reddit for hours that night. Until finally I randomly thought about going on an anonymous chat site. I use to do this all the time back during covid when I was stuck in the house So for what ever reason I made a fake girl name and instantly connected to some random dude. I thought it was funny and decided to troll alittle cause why not I guess I just wanted to pass the time. He asked me where i worked and I said a bar (obv I don’t ) and he said “wow u must get hit on a lot u must be hot” and said yeah i do and then I felt really weird about it. So I closed the site down. Fast forward to now I felt like I cheated on my gf by flirting with another guy. Even tho I don’t like guys. It was months ago so I can’t rmeebr exactly how the text went but it was along those words and the convo had to been less then 3 minutes. Now since then all I can think is maybe I wanted the texts to go further. Or what if I said something sexual? What if I liked it sexually? On top of that, it was just a really weird one off thing I did. I mean I have no idea why I pretended to be a hot girl working at a bar lol. I guess I was just trolling or curious idk. Either way it would be really hard to explain to my gf and I don’t really want to tell her. Butttt , since I feel like I cheated I feel awful like I’m horrible person. These last 4 days I keep reading reddit post about ppl cheating on chat rooms and I keep googling to see if I should tell my gf or not. I understand sitting with uncertainty but I need to know desperately if I did something wrong bc my gf deserves to know. But like I said if I told her what happened it such a weird situation that she may think something serious happened. Also I dealt with a porn addiction at the time and I’ve gotten a lot better. So far I’ve been 3 days clean of watching porn and don’t even have the need too. How ever I think the real reason why I feel like I cheated was my intentions altho I went on just joking around I feel like I was on there for something sexual. Which I’m glad I never shared any personal things , pictures or anything graphic and the convo was less then 3 minutes long based off a fake character

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