Deleted post.

I agree with this, hocd started for me about ten months ago, I had almost every symptom under the sun, ten months on, my anxiety is a lot weaker, and I hardly have the symptoms? But I still have the self doubt! I believe it's because we get used to the anxiety so it weakens and the symptoms do also! It definitely feels real ?

Are you scared to tell someone close to you because it will make it feel like your giving in? Like it will make it more real? It's so hard, I've been there, im still there, just in a different way! Just try and learn about it, and if you can try and speak to a professional. There's plenty of online courses, mood smith is meant to be good, also search Chrissie Hodges on YouTube, she explains a lot about hocd.

That's exactly how I felt at your stage, I was scared of what people would think, which would make me believe I was in denial! And then I lost my attraction to the opposite sex, and questioned every time I would see someone of the same sex that was attractive! I never used to pay so much attention to the same sex, then suddenly you notice them all the time! Have you ever been walking down the street and you see a car and you go 'that's a nice car, I've never seen one of them before' and then after that moment, you keep on seeing that car? It's the same with hocd, because your giving it attention, your mind is only focused on seeing what your thinking about!

Which is so common, you was comparing yourself with other members of the same sex, and then that horrible question pops in to your head and then from that point your constantly analysing whether your attracted to the same sex or not. For me I had a gay bloke hit on my while on holiday, I was with my girlfriend and friends, we was all drinking, I shrugged it off, but the next morning I was in constant panic, checking every male out, asking my self that same question, am I attracted to him?

I’ve had this since this past January. Although my anxiety is gone, the thoughts still linger, and then I feel this weird odd sense and i don’t like it. My OCD always tells me “I’m gonna get you back” all the time. Like at times it’s not me talking. Or in first person. Before I used to wake up and think about how beautiful my girlfriend is, or what im going to do that day. NOW, OH HELL NO. Now I just feel like I’m lying every fucking minute

I agree! I've had a few therapy sessions and it did help, but over time it's got easier, the anxiety and everything, some days I feel normal, the only thing is, I'm not fully back to my self, my naturally attraction to women hasn't come back fully, my sex drive is no where near where it used to be! That's what worry's me, and it all gets a little confusing! I keep relying on the thought that one day I'll wake up, and it will all be gone and I'll be able to move on with my life! Still waiting...

How long have you had hocd for? Hocd does this to you, I used to constantly check! I've had similar intrusive thoughts like that as well, 8 months ago them thoughts would scare the hell out of me, now they don't, I've gotten used to the thoughts! When I first got hocd, I would be at work and notice every attractive male, constantly asking if I thought they was attractive, I was checking every second! My anxiety was ridiculous. You need to although the thoughts to be there, just say to yourself ' ahh here's that ridiculous thought again, I'm going to let it sit there, but not give it any meaning', and then try and move on from it! If your on any social media e.g Facebook, instagram, twitter, I recommend deleting it. Social media can be so negative. I deleted all of them almost three weeks ago, and I feel better with out them.

Allow*

If you can't get therapy, I recommend trying to learn about your condition, try and understand what it is your going through, try and stop looking on forums for answers. Once you stop giving in to your compulsions it will get a little easier. Also try talking to someone about it, someone you trust and can rely on, having someone in your corner can make the world of difference.