Dealing with the same thing again...

For me its always that i try to think if its a real feeling or not... and my mind says that it might me real i just dont want to admit it...like i felt hopeless and thats why i had that but i have to remind myself everytime that there was an anxious/bad reaction everytime i had these thoughts so i try to not believe what my mind says.

I will try what you said thank you for the advice

@woahman of course! try not to ruminate. thoughts are just thoughts, they’re not true if you don’t want them to be.

@woahman Wow you sound exactly the same as me 100%%%this is crazy. I literally had the same thoughts and feelings confused if maybe it was real and I didn’t want to or know how to admit it??

Especially if I stop feeling a reaction to the thought I get worried that maybe it’s real and I wanted it the whole time or idk.

@NrseKris Same… or « maybe I feel so bad by all my anxiety and sadness caused by ocd that I’ll finally do it » cause those thoughts are so horrible and scary

@phaR08 Omg yes I also fear that . Or I fear that I’ll never feel better which will lead to that. Or I think what if I have a chronic treatment resistant depression or something. Is there anything that helps you

@NrseKris I’m the same really… this OCD is actually really new for me I never had OCD before so qu’on still trying to figure it out. Being with my family helps a lot. But I also noticed that it’s really hard for me to be alone anymore so I’m gonna force myself to do it. If you want we can keep talking In the future days? To help eachother ?

I thought I had recovered and was actually doing well for like 7 months but then this year after some stressors it all came back and it’s been like 3 months now and I just keep worrying it’ll never go away this time 😵‍💫

Yes we can keep in touch forsure I think it helps talking to someone else who understands. I used to be terrified of knives too I actually had an image one time of me cutting my arm with my kitchen knife I literally panicked so bad my heart rate went to 170 and I called 911 😑😭 that was like over a year ago and now I’m not that scared of knives anymore but more scared of like developing a horrible depression and ending up wanting to die I hate even typing that 😑😑😭😭

I have a son he’s 6 I like being with him it makes me feel safer I don’t like being alone . I used to be scared of scissors too I even left work one time cus I kept getting images of myself grabbing the scissors . I feel like my fears have kinda changed but stayed the same theme , I’m not too scared of scissors and knives now a little bit but not like before now I’m just scared of being depressed or never getting better

@NrseKris It’s a good thing that you have a son :) it’s actually weird but I’m really the same like right now I was relaxing and thoughts « what if I wanted to die and didn’t know it ? » or « what is the fact that I’m relaxing mean that I accept the thoughts to be true ? » It’s so tiring

@phaR08 Same here or even right now I was thinking what if I’m just bored of life and don’t wana live anymore and my stomach goes in knots and just feels weird but since I haven’t been panicking as much anymore it makes me worried that I don’t care ???

@NrseKris I have the same feeling really it’s horrible

@NrseKris Hi :) how are you today ?

@phaR08 Hey, just woke up not too long ago and trying not to give into the thoughts. My thing today is I keep thinking “what if I have depression with suicidal ideation and this isn’t ocd” 😵‍💫😑😑 how are you

@NrseKris Yeah same, I’m like « what if I actually lie to myself and I’m really suicidal » or « what if It’s only a matter of time » it’s so scary I want to think normal again

@phaR08 I got really scared right now cus I’m off today and bored and I’m like what if I just wana die because I’m bored and don’t know what to do with my time just hurt myself or what if I just wana go to sleep I almost panicked help me

@NrseKris Go outside like un your garden and walk a little

@NrseKris Lie down, close your eyes and take time to breathe you’re having a panic attack

@phaR08 I came outside with my son he’s playing in the water I’m calming down but I just feel weird I’m thinking what if I can’t handle how I’m feeling and just hurt myself or what if the bad feelings never go away

@NrseKris Yeah right now I’m not calm either like I don’t know what my body wants

@phaR08 I don’t have any plans to hurt myself but I’m scared that In an intesnse moment of desperation I’ll just snap and do something that’s what’s scary

@NrseKris Yeah I have that fear too. I think that Even if it’s really hard we have to understand that we’re surferont from a doubt syndrom and understand that if we keep fighting it’s gonna be worse. We have to accept the thoughts so ouf brain get used to the fact that we’re not scared anymore. I know it’s hard I can’t do that yet either but we have to try everyday

@phaR08 Sorry I meant suffering *

@phaR08 When did this all start for you and have you met with a therapist yet or do any medication ?

@NrseKris It starter around february. First it was thoughts of hurting my parents. But it calmed down really quickly even if deep down I still had fears. But 2 weeks ago it came back more stronly, still with fear of hurting my parents but then in one day the fear turned on me instead of my parents and it’s been on me since then. It’s been a week. I’m not seeing a therapist right now but I’m thinking of it. What about you are you seeing a therapist?

@NrseKris Do you also have the problem that sometimes you’re sitting down and it’s like you have the urge to stand up and do it ? And then you go into panic attack ? I just had that and I’m scared as hell

@phaR08 I started with a therapist but I’ve been giving into my compulsions like ruminating or asking reassurance cus it feels so scary and real, yes that’s happened to me where I feel like I’m gonna stand up and do it it happened to me a few weeks ago and I texted the crisis line cus I thought I was gonna do something