Break Up

I broke up with my partner yesterday and feel heartbroken. It’s amazing how much unconditional love and care I feel now in comparison to feelings that I had having Rocd. I’ve been struggling with Rocd for the past two years, doubting whether I prefer someone who have traits that I value most in myself. However, I feel like all those thoughts I was having about us not being compatible completely went out the window. Whats revealed is my love for him and desire to be with him that was there all along. I realize how bullshit my thoughts were. I think I know that I want to try again with him, even with the knowledge that it still might not work out. I regret doing so relatively quickly and without warning. I really hope he feels the same to try again and that he has similar thoughts. I don’t think I ever really wanted to break up with him. It was completely mind-made. I was happy with him. I’m so miserable and want to be with him. I miss him so much.

Relationship OCD

bananapancakes

Date posted: 3y

I’m in the same boat for the past three days i’ve almost broken up with my partner. it just feels like this anxiety is telling me it’s not my ocd and that i need to let go and it’s not right for me. what are your thoughts after following through with the compulsion?

Shiba Inu

Date posted: 3y

I’m sorry about that. That’s how I felt too, in fact, the most ego-syntonic I’ve ever felt it. After last night, I feel like I never wanted to end the relationship in the first place despite the realistic thoughts. That my relationship overally was happy and fulfilling and that my thoughts about my relationship were conceptual and not actual issues. I wouldn’t say that we were flawlessly compatible in every way but I overally enjoyed being with him.

Shiba Inu

Date posted: 3y

@Shiba Inu It seems like all the love and care that was always there is just bursting through now. One thought I have is that if people try to reassure themselves into wanting to still be with their partner, and that reassurance makes them feel good, doesn’t that indicate you still want to be with your partner? But anyhow, I get the confusion and pain and I’m sorry to contribute to providing reassurance now.

bananapancakes

Date posted: 3y

i’m sorry you’re going through that. no relationship is every going to be perfectly compatible. i know love isn’t an emotion it’s a choice but when i get this anxiety panic feeling it’s hard to wonder if i’m making a wrong decision to stay but i know if we broke up and later down the line i date someone else, the same thing would happen. he’s my best friend and i just hate this feeling

Shiba Inu

Date posted: 3y

I’m sorry you’re going through that too. I can understand and relate. One thing that helped me is seeing through the transient nature of feelings and thoughts. Eckhart Tolle and Buddhism talk a lot about this. That highly panicked thoughts/feelings are likely coming from a place that is not representational of you when you are calm and free of compulsions. That they ebb and flow. It seems that thinking too much also makes things even less representational. Kind of like when someone gets angry and feels completely convinced that their thoughts are justified and so on, but later when they’re calm/level headed, can see the errors of what they initially thought.

bananapancakes

Date posted: 3y

Thank you I really like that. What do you personally do to calm down?

Shiba Inu

Date posted: 3y

I guess I’m still trying to figure that out but lately acknowledging that I have certain feelings and thoughts, accepting that they could be correct and doing my best to remain present with my partner. I’d still like to consult an ERP therapist about this though. What about you?

bananapancakes

Date posted: 3y

i don’t really have any techniques yet. i’m supposed to meet with a therapist from this site on sunday. do you use a therapist on here?

Shiba Inu

Date posted: 3y

Yay on seeing a therapist! That’s wonderful. I haven’t seen a therapist through nocd. I’m planning to seek therapy and will think about using this app. I hope it goes well for you

bananapancakes

Date posted: 3y

Inwill let you know how it goes! Thanks for all the help and best of luck

Shiba Inu

Date posted: 3y

Thank you! And feel free to chat anytime through here! Thank you for the support too and take care

bmaria

Date posted: 25w

Rocd?

My psychologist tells me because my thoughts are based off of facts/ broken boundaries which is why I am having thoughts of am i in love , am I settling , and feeling guilty I should let him go to find someone who wouldn’t doubt him that I do not have rocd. She states rocd is intrusive , irrational thoughts not based off of real facts and I may have ptsd not ocd. He kissed someone else before we were official and he finds a certain type of female attractive that I find disgusting . So I spin about these issues all day long to the point I’m so unhappy with him and had to break up . It’s been over a month now but I’m still severely anxious and depressed The thing is I can’t stop thinking about this 24/7 with severe anxiety and depression and nothing is helping me . Can someone please tell me their thoughts

Firefly girl

Date posted: 24w

Rocd

I’m so confused if the breakup was the right decision I felt so confident about it in the moment but now I feel the opposite I don’t understand how my emotions can switch up on me this much

Elizabeth010101

Date posted: 24w

How do I get past the sadness and regret?

(22F) Broke up with my ex. Didn’t know what ROCD was at the time. He has moved on with someone new. The depression and regret has gotten really bad as of lately, and I don’t know what to do. I’m so tired. I kind of want to be single forever, though my heart yearns for connection. I’ve always wanted to be a mom and parent with someone I love one day. It’s not worth it if my mind is this way. I’m working with a NOCD therapist soon. If someone has a story similar I would love to hear, I’m really struggling. Thank you so much.

Relationship OCD

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Break Up

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