Is doing the smallest compulsion harmful to recovery in the long run? Just wondering? Like not exactly doing the same compulsion but just a different approach to get reassurance. Is it possible to cheat on our ocd and cheat on our own brain?

When I did exposure therapy, they told me that any small compulsion will fuel the OCD, even if it is a different compulsion that’s never been used. Any action that is an immediate relief to the anxiety will hurt in the long run. When I did exposure therapy I forced myself to do something to get my anxiety going, such as touching a dirty thing with my elbow. Instead of rubbing it off I left it. Instead of finding another compulsion that worked, I left it, let the anxiety grow, and even told myself, “my elbow is dirty, I feel the germs sinking in.” Was it scary? Yes. Was it hard? Of course. Did it work for me? Yes. It takes courage and patience and you won’t see a change right away, and you may want to cry and scream and let out your anger and frustration and turmoil, which is okay to do. I don’t know if you’re going through or considering exposure therapy, but you have to go all in. I built a hierarchy of my obsessions and the compulsions I used to get rid of the anxiety. Even thinking about those rituals gave me a lot of anxiety, so I started with just thinking about the exposures I would do in the future. I then wrote a story about me doing the exposures and how hard it would be. I then did it. It’s so hard but so worth it in the end. If you start doing something and feel as though you’re not ready, take a step back and start smaller. Of course you’ll need to push yourself and it’ll be hard to get through. But for me personally, exposure therapy was the best decision of my life, and even now I have very little OCD thoughts and symptoms, if any at all. Everybody is different, and everyone will work at a different pace and with different strategies to control their OCD and live the lives they want to live. But I guess long answer short, any reassurance or “quick fix” will do no good. It wouldn’t do a lot of harm, but it won’t help in any way, just add a bit more power to the OCD. I hope I’m not making treatment sound too scary. It’s not easy, but I am living proof that it can work if you have a good support system, determination, and strength to fight for yourself and your right to live a healthy life. OCD is difficult to live with and difficult to get help for. But stay strong for yourself. Sorry if this was a long answer or not a very good one at all. But everyone with OCD that I’ve met has a strength and willingness unmatched by many other people, even if the sufferer doesn’t yet see it themselves. Good luck. And remember, everyone’s OCD is different.

The uncertainty is very difficult and I’ve also had some hard nights and days. One girl that was also getting treatment at the outpatient place I went to went for seven hours every day while I only went for three, one of which was mostly spent learning about what OCD is and how to deal with emotions, two of which were spent coming up with and doing exposures with some breaks. The girl who went all day long did make progress like I did, but I think it definitely exhausted her emotionally and mentally. Just take it one day at a time. If you regress, it’s alright, just take a deep breath and keep trying. Celebrate every baby step you make. Don’t push yourself too hard, and take mental breaks when you can. My therapists at the outpatient place were very supportive and celebrated every success I made and always encouraged me but never overly pushed me. Whether you’re at a similar place that I went to or you’re just consulting with a single specialist, remember that every step forward is a step closer to beating OCD and living the life that you want and deserve. Don’t let anyone rush you or discourage you. Good luck. Stay tough ❤️

Thank you! And yeah I’ve been doing ERP for a week now and I’ve been using the delaying technique. I just delay everything and let everything stay in my brain as much as they want and I just tell myself maybe I’ll analyze and solve you someday but not right now I have other things to focus on. I’ve noticed my fear subside. I just had one bad day yesterday and lack of sleep. I haven’t done any physical compulsions or analyzed much but the uncertainty is just so hard to shake off sometimes that’s why I was wondering if it’s gonna hurt the progress I’ve made if I do a different approach to compulsion like if I just take a peek rather than doing my usual compulsion. Thank you for your words they mean a lot

Thank you so much! Sending you love ?