I often struggle with intrusive thoughts related to not being a bad person, what if I have low empathy, what if I’m just pretending to care about others, etc. I worry that doing exposures for these thoughts/this theme could make me use OCD as an excuse not to be accountable for my actions if I hurt someone/do something terrible. How do I navigate this when doing exposures?
Same. Even when I do something nice I will think “do I actually care or am I being fake”. Smh. Ocd not letting us ever trust our own emotions 🙄
or my favorite “you’re a manipulator” lolol
@purplebeach Oh that one. Yes. I’ll be crying and even think “wait. Are these real tears or am I just manipulating oh no!” Hahaha. It’s like I obsess so much about NOT wanting to be corrupt that I don’t just let myself feel what I feel. SMH
Following because same!
I think the most important part in this is to accept that maybe you are a bad person. Sounds crazy and insane, I am sure, but OCD is constantly going to try to trick us into thinking the worst of ourselves! If we give acceptance to the uncertainty of these thoughts, it'll be easier for us to shake it off. Another good reminder is that we are not what we THINK we are. We are not our thoughts. Our actions can always be different from what our mind. Challenging OCD and telling yourself to do the things you think are right and still going through the thoughts that maybe you are a bad human is a huge exposure but a really good lesson. You're taking the courage to still think with your intuition instead of your OCD.
Thank you for this. I have a couple questions: If I’m accepting that I could be a bad person but then I’m not doing anything to specifically change this (given that this is often based on “pure o”/ mental compulsions), how do I move forwards toward my values? How do I know if I actually value the things I say I value? I also feel like I have “evidence” from real life events in the past (like actions I took) that could be more proof that I’m doing something bad. My other question is: you mentioned thinking with intuition vs with the OCD - I’m wary of this because I’ve read a lot of social media posts about how going by gut instincts is not helpful to people with ocd. Maybe I misunderstood your post though. Thanks!
@Anonymous So I think our values and intuition are very similar. These are the things that come naturally in our day to day life without the over process of OCD thoughts. Obviously, my help is opinion based and social media posts, but I learned through recovery that my intuition was a lot different from my OCD thoughts because when I naturally pick my intuition, I am doing things without fear. I’m doing them out of my values. This of course doesn’t mean you’re always going to pick the right thing and this is where you learn that you don’t necessarily have to. Because you’re human and you will make mistakes still and you don’t have to over process everything to get it perfect. That’s why when I say, accept that you’re a bad person, that doesn’t necessarily mean that you are a bad person, but you’re telling your OCD to back off and not make those decisions for you. You’re giving yourself the space to separate yourself from your OCD and remind yourself that not everything it tries to convince you is true.
@Jesse Miller That makes sense, thank you
I’ve been having intrusive thoughts that I am a bad friend. There’s no reason in particular, just this nebulous feeling that I am an overall shitty person and terrible friend. That maybe I haven’t asked how my friends are enough times, did I show them how much I care enough, did I show enough interest in their lives, am I empathetic and compassionate enough, etc.? Another thought is that “it’s no wonder my friends don’t really text me often, who would want to be my friend and have to deal with my anxiety, depression, and ocd.” My dad has told me that I no one would want to be my friend due to my fears of contamination and germs. I’m trying to tell myself they’re just thoughts and that doesn’t make them real, but my anxiety and depression have spiked recently due to my job and I feel like I’m a liability instead of an asset. I’m terrified of ruining people’s lives. However, I know that I am a genuine person who is very compassionate and empathetic and cares a lot about others. I am a volunteer manager and I genuinely care about my volunteers as people, so in emails and conversations, I always ask how they are and that their families are well and I hope they’ve enjoyed their weekend. I have recently learned that that is one of their big complaints about me— they find my “how are yous” and “I hope you are well” to be abrasive and mechanical. My volunteers trigger the anxiety, depression, and OCD. Does anyone have any other tools they use to help with intrusive thoughts? Am I alone in this? I feel so alone.
Hi! Does anyone experience guilt about doing exposures? Like if my OCD is right and now I’m going to get possessed or cause this terrible thing to happen it will be my fault. And also prove that my brain DOES have that power which is so scary. I just did an exposure and I feel so worried about my fears coming true and the people I love (& me) getting hurt because of it. How do you get past this? It feels like I shouldn’t do exposures because it’s selfish.
I have ocd, i have crazy intrusive thoughts that make me super uncomfortable, the thing is i understand that ocd goes against your morals and try’s to make you feel like a bad person but how do i avoid pushing people away while trying to treat my ocd.. i love my boyfriend so so much but when i get intrusive thoughts about hurting his feelings or doing something terrible it scares me so bad that i’m scared to be around him because in my head it’s like “why am i even thinking of this if i love him so much” and i know i would never do anything to hurt him but i just feel terrible because he’s an amazing boyfriend and i have all these bad thoughts. :(
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