can someone young respond

so i’m only 18 and my bf and i are going to college together. i used to have a lot of fun when i was single but i always wanted a bf. he’s my best friend and makes me laugh like no one else can. i love him so much. but sometimes i get thoughts that i rather be single and i’m missing out on life and i’m settling and that there’s someone more fun or more this or that. is this part of rOCD? the thoughts make me feel anxious and sad because i when im level headed i feel so much love for him but then when i can’t feel that emotion other thoughts come in and say that id have a better life marrying someone else. i think it’s because im young so i worry im forcing something by us going to the same college but i also know i would be devastated leaving him. it’s so confusing. any thoughts or tips on how to calm this?

Relationship OCD

Xconley23

Date posted: 3y

I get this too,I’m only 16 but I’ve had my way around,and it keeps telling me I gotta explore more and stack up my body count but I know I DO NOT want that it’s just a rocd thought,accept the thought maybe you do wanna explore maybe you don’t,you’ll never know,I watch this video all the time on YouTube it helps with my ocd DONT SEEK REASSURANCE THOUGH IT MAKES SHIT 10x worse because it brings anxiety when you don’t get the answer you want

40112319

Date posted: 3y

so i’m 20 and went into college with my boyfriend from senior year of high school. so i’ve had two years of college together. i have those thoughts as well but trust me you will be so glad to have a relationship regardless of what others say. it is so nice to have your best friend with you and almost everyone i’ve met wishes they had a relationship. sure being single can be fun, but it is only temporary feelings of happiness. having a relationship is stress-free. you won’t have to worry about “omg i need to have someone by the end of college or i won’t get married”. you will definitely not be missing out, you will have a genuine connection with someone which is rare in college. when you get in that negative mindset, allow yourself to feel the anxiety rather than listening to the thoughts. if you focus on trying to feel the anxiety instead of the thoughts, they will go away because you are focused on something else. it’s similar to when you have the hiccups and you have to focus on your breathing instead of your hiccups. the hiccups eventually go away.

Xconley23

Date posted: 3y

Thank you so much I appreciate it

Xconley23

Date posted: 3y

Sometimes I also have thoughts about wanting to be with other people too

bananapancakes

Date posted: 3y

hey i’m back haha i need some more advice. do you still go out in college? like i was so used to the hook up culture in highschool and sometimes i miss the thrill and i worry im missing out if i’m not single for some part of college. do you feel like you’re missing out?

Xconley23

Date posted: 3y

@bananapancakes I’m not even in college🤣but I’m in HS and I get thoughts like I wanna go to parties and fuck every girl in sight type thing,but I just kinda sit with the thought I’m willing to not live out the HS thrill if it means spending the rest of my life with this girl

40112319

Date posted: 3y

@bananapancakes i do still go out! i go out with my friends and i almost never have the thought of “oooo i like him better” after seeing an attractive guy. you’re not missing out because you are in a relationship. college is a lot more than being single and getting with people. it’s also about making friends, taking classes, tailgating, partying, and just enjoying being young. you can do all of that while in a relationship :)

puzzlesandkn...

Date posted: 25w

Rocd and change

My girlfriend and I are both applying to grad schools and have no idea what’s going to happen next with our lives but I am seeing couple getting engaged and moving in and I am so freaked out I feel like I should want those things and I do but like not now? But is that bad to not want them now I’m scared it will never actually be the right time or that maybe I am with the wrong person but I don’t believe in wrong person and I love my partner so much I don’t want to feel this uncertainty but that is what my ocd wants :// any tips y’all?

Anonymous

Date posted: 24w

Rocd -feeling like relief would be to breakup

So me and my boyfriend have been dating for a few months but seriously talking for around 8. I have never met anyone so perfect and amazing. I love him so much. Into our talking stage i kissed my ex situation-ship and ever since have been dealing with the consequences. He forgave me and gave me another chance and i have shown him how much i care every day since. He is over it now since it was only in our talking stage. I have had thoughts with my ex name, thoughts i hate my boyfriend, always constantly thinking if im bored, if i love him. It switches day by day and impacts my life constantly. I don’t feel like myself at all. Some days i can’t do it. I just want to be happy and secure with him. my thought from the past few days is that i want to be single and hook up with other people. I don’t actually want to hook up with others but i feel so terrible and guilty. Does anyone else deal with this? Sometimes i can’t tell the difference between my real thoughts and the fake ones. I have been debating breaking up with my boyfriend because i feel like it’s best but i would be so sad. He is perfect and i see myself marrying him.

Mariabae

Date posted: 18w

please read

Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth

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