an0nym0us
- Date posted
- 3y
4011231940112319
- Date posted
- 3y
i totally understand that feeling. i was experiencing bad rocd during the start of the 2022 new year because i was afraid this feeling was just going to be a part of my life now. i was very anxious about the upcoming events I should excited about. saying i relate to the “afraid i’ll wake up one day and not like him” and “if i really like him” is an understatement. those were the exact thoughts i had for months. a few things that help me: -our thoughts do not define us. we are not our thoughts. -let it go. this pain and anxiety you’re feeling is not based on true emotion, it is based on fear. -loving someone and being in love are two different things. you are not going to feel that euphoric “in love” feeling all the time with your partner. actually loving someone is having their back and them being your best friend. sure there’s an attraction but that is not important if you want a long-term relationship. when you grow old, you’re not gonna look at them and think “wow they’re smokin hot” lol. what i’m trying to say is that just because you don’t feel a certain way when you’re around them like “omg i love them”, doesn’t mean you don’t love them. love is a much deeper, innate feeling so it often can be questioned because we forget we have it. -those thoughts and feelings that feel so real and are so convincing are terrifying. nothing is more painful than feeling at war with your own mind. trust me i understand. when you are overwhelmed with anxiety, it’s so hard to get rid of. when you feel that anxiety because of a thought, your body literally triggers a fight or fight response because it physically wants to get away from the thought. you have to think of your anxiety as a concerned friend. it thinks there’s an issue when there isn’t. so instead of fighting the thoughts, try listening to them, hearing what they have to say and then dismissing them with a phrase such as “i hear you. thank you for your concern. but i’m okay.” -lastly, you have to accept that many of our thoughts and feelings don’t have meaning. you can feel very intense emotions for no reason at all. they will come out of no where and paralyze you. it is your brain trying to cope with fear. it will not allow any new thoughts until it “fixes the issue”. the reason these thoughts have meaning is because we give them meaning. they will be floating by and our brain will reach out and grab them and go “ooooo what’s this? it seems important” even if it is useless to you. anyways, i hope this helped. you have to stay strong. and i know it’s hard. so hard. but those thoughts will not last forever. eventually your mind will go “fineeee, i give up”. remember, ocd attacks the most important thing in your life.
an0nym0usan0nym0us
- Date posted
- 3y
thank you so so much!
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- Date posted
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isabella123456
- Date posted
- 16w
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Im scared that if I start to think it too much, I will start to believe it, and it becomes my reality. I always have thoughts like, “Do I love him, what if I lose feelings, how longs is this going to last, when will these thoughts finally go away, is he the one for me, is this how love feels like or am I just convincing myself?” I start to search things up to make myself feel better but the longest that works for is a few hours and then that gut wrenching feeling comes back. I love him I’m sure of it, but then why do I feel like this? I know if I didn’t love someone I would let them go and would t even fight for it or try to get better, but for him I’m trying ever second of everyday and sometimes I just feel so hopeless. I can’t afford a therapist and I’m too busy to talk to one. I don’t know what to do or how to feel, sometimes I just feel numb and I hate it, sometimes I feel like crying but can’t, and most the time I don’t feel jealous anymore and that scares me because I’m a jealous person. Then I get thoughts and reminders of my ex. Not in a way that I like them but the hatred and the trauma and pain they left me with. The mental, verbal and physical abuse. Sometimes my current relationship reminds me of him and why I shouldn’t be in one because I always fall into this deep hole that feels impossible to get out of. I just get so scared.
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 13w
i need help, i dont know what is happening
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
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