I feel like this is the worst it’s ever been. I cant even recognize myself. I feel like I’m gay but I don’t wanna be at all. I just want my old self back. It feels so real to the point where I have to accept it but I just can’t. Someone please help me see it in a different point of view PLEASE
Just breathe and remember how it all started. You were absolutely sure you were straight before, right? And you don't want to be with the same gender, right? It doesn't go with your desire and values, right? It is just intrusive thoughts and anxiety getting the best out of you. Just try to engage in activity you like and let the thoughts pass by, don't analyze thrm, because deep doen you know who you are and who you want to be with...
It feels like I actually want it now.
@Itswhatever What makes you believe you want it? I've had moments when I've also felt that way, my mind tried to modify my past, but you need to find the point that breaks it and returns you back to what you really desire. What you wished for before this all began? Try remembering and focus on the positive thoughts, even if it might seem hard right now..
Nono this is not healthy advice. As someone who has recovered from HOCD and POCD, trying to solve why you are not gay is so harmful. The difficult way I recovered was to stop asking myself questions, trying to remember or replay events, and just LEARN to continue with what I’m doing. Basically…. Not agreeing or disagreeing with the thoughts, but just continuing on with my life. EVENTUALLY I started to realize that these are just thoughts…farts in the sky….meaningless. They FELT real, they FELT true but in actuality they weren’t and I now know that. But don’t even look for certainty during recovery, it’s going to drive you insane, as it did to me. So to summarize, it’s going to be long and doffficukt but continue with you life
@Anonymous I am sorry, I didn't want to give bad advice or anything, I was just trying to help. Thank you for your input, I will try to learn from it myself and go with it.
@Anonymous How are you supposed to not have certainty over your sexuality? It seems like everyone else is certain about it
@sbirbansuwh When I was suffering with HOCD I used to ask myself this exact question. Let me give you an example? What is something that you know without a shadow of a doubt? Let’s say you love your mom. Now imagine you started getting thoughts that said “I hate my mom” “I wish she died” “She’s a terrible mother”….. would you believe those thoguhts? No, you probably wouldn’t. That’s typically how someone who doesn’t have OCD thinks. So when you are getting thoguhts that says “You are attracted to your same gender” “you wanted to kiss them” etc….. you are basically believing them because you have OCD. Basically, in my experience, the way to recovery was to stop asking myself questions out of the blue. Stop asking “how are you supposed to not be certain about your sexuality?”. Stop. Continue with your life. And ONLY when one time someone ACTUALLY asked me if I am gay or straight…. I literally said straight. It just came out of mouth, because deep down, I strongly believe every OCD sufferer knows the truth about themselves, BUT you’re not going to know any truth when you keep making up scenarios or questions in your heaf
@Anonymous this helped me so much thank you!
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