- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes hapend me
- Date posted
- 3y
Same. And yet I still tell myself I'm lying. It's insane
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes and me debut like women or im gay and lie myself I cnow like girl but now nothing sexually and anixty not it's here bat have episode anixty how today crye much and leater start again now me ask like girl or not and I cnow yes and in mind it's are in denial
- Date posted
- 3y
@mateus12 I know how you feel. It's ocd!! Try to calm your brain down. Things will get better and you will feel good again
- Date posted
- 3y
@Littleducky5 Hi you seem to have good advice could you help me too if possible…I have been weird about these thoughts the entire day its like they are always at the back of my mind but i am not anxious nor doing anything about them not searching on the internet and finding every single compulsion of mine fake and like just doing it for the sake of it . The thoughts have ranged to feel way too normal and real which also doesn’t scare me anymore which also doesn’t scare me so idk what to do now.. its like i have been noticing the same sex a little more and then also having had past experiences with the same sex os making me think things that I don’t want to but could be true also i was watching a movie and noticing the girl and not feeling weird about it and this girl who recently said was bi was asked how she knows about this and she said that she noticed a girl and i am doing the same what if this is the start of an experience of coming out or something and like i have heard people who do actually are anxious in the beginning and that is what’s happening to me as well how do i not know that this is a possibility which it is and mine is ocd and not denial cause it feels like the latter.. also the dream i had today was also so similar to this that this is how you start feeling and why have i been feeling this could be a possibility so strongly is it because i have been noticing women or girls who are bi and not accepting and not feeling anything close to being anxious but continue looking?!? What do i do?
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through I think I just responded on your other post! I would say its hocd and you're definitely not in denial. But I know that's not going to help anything lol. Ocd is so hard
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through Sometimes I would feel like an out-of-body experience/panic attack that was so intense and felt like it was actually me coming out of the closet and needing to accept it.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Brave through Tbh I think it’s because we think about the Same sex SO MUCH that the feelings feel real but it’s just your anxiety and your ocd working together to trick your mind into thinking it’s real but it’s not. Ocd craves fear and when u feel it, it feeds even more the more attention you bring to your thoughts. Some people are so convinced that they are gay but there is no such thing as 100% certainty. Try to be mindful and take it day by day. Do not think about the future and do not think about the negative aspects of what you’re feeling. Accept uncertainty because it gives your mind a little bit of a break instead of searching for an answer right away. It will get easier with time. Just keep on living
- Date posted
- 3y
@Itswhatever I totally agree. Thank you! I had recovered from this for over a year and I'm so mad it came back!
- Date posted
- 3y
@Itswhatever Thankyou for this!! Its so hard to not focus cause it feels so real as i keep noticing not feeling anxious nothing can calm my mind down its so hard.. its so hard to not let it effect you or be in this habit of compulsions if they even are.. but i will try
- Date posted
- 3y
@Littleducky5 I know it feels way way to real sometimes and the past feels fake like every guy I might have ever liked feels like it never happened cause this feels so real
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I am a 18 year old masc lesbian with a loving girlfriend for 1 year, and I have been lesbian for almost my whole life and I have never been attracted to men in any way. flash to my past, My ex girlfriend who used to identify as a lesbian had cheated on me with a man. Recently I saw this tiktok of this masc lesbian turn straight and my friends and girlfriend made jokes I am going to turn straight for my male best friend. My male best friend came over and he’s a great guy but I do not want him in any way. when him and i were hanging out my mind threw in a thought it was “What if i like him”, i came back home and i had the worst panic attack and i felt so sick, i cried and i cried. ever since that day I have been struggling with intrusive thoughts, i don’t want a man in any way, and i feel comfortable as a lesbian but these thoughts won’t stop and they become worse when i see people say being lesbian is a phase or that i haven’t met the right guy or i’ll change in the future. i just want these thoughts to stop, i don’t want to stop being a lesbian ever, i love women so much and i just want all of this to be over with. i do not want a man in any way and im tired of my thoughts doubting myself and i hate the “what ifs”, I just want to be my old self, I want to be happy with my girlfriend.
- Date posted
- 22w
hi i’m a lesbian! and i have known im a lesbian for a really long time and i have a sweet girlfriend of 1 year. it all started when i saw this masc lesbian come out as straight, after that i had my guy friend over and he’s a sweet guy and he was flirting with me (he didn’t know i was gay) im not sure but i panicked and my brain froze and i was like “do i like him”, ever since my brain has been over worked 24/7 for 2 months now and it’s spiralling constantly. im trying to control it but all these thoughts are so disgusting and my brain tries to put him and i in scenarios that make me uncomfortable and i feel panic and i hate it. i have always been comfortable being a lesbian and i still am comfortable as a lesbian, but i dislike these thoughts i have about him and men and i want it to be over. i do not want to experiment with men even tho my brain is telling me i do, i find it disgusting and i dread it, i have a sweet girlfriend and i want to be with her forever, i do not imagine anything with any men and i hate these thoughts. im scared of becoming bisexual/straight one day and i hate hearing sexuality is fluid. its a whole mix of comphet and so-ocd
- Date posted
- 18w
I am very depressed right now. I really feel like maybe I’ve always been a lesbian and never knew. I never questioned my sexuality when I was young, never wanted to explore, I just was straight and didn’t think anything about it, that’s just what it was. I had my first soocd spiral in late high school but didn’t have a name for it, just that I was having intrusive thoughts and it was killing me that maybe I was gay. I can’t exactly remember how I got out of that but I continued to have crushes, talking stages, and dated. It went away and that was that I guess. Looking back now I definitely was still avoiding content and certain people, and still had intrusive thoughts but didn’t think I was gay. I guess they were less sticky. Something about me is that I’ve never had a boyfriend and I’m a virgin. I’m very shy and romanticize things like I love the relationships and scenarios I read about or that I see in movies or the thirst traps online haha. So I want that irl but am disappointed when that doesn’t happen. I have a very interactive daydream (started when I was 13 and still continued that fantasy world now too) with a boyfriend, friends, and a prettier version of me. I enjoyed making up scenarios about sex or romance in those daydreams and fantasies, but when it came to real life, I would get shy or scared when things were starting to get serious with men. I thought maybe this was an avoidant attachment style but now I’m not sure. I never considered female fantasies and I still don’t want to right now. I want to test and see which one I like better, but I’m afraid I’ll find that I’m a lesbian and I really don’t want that. Ive always imagined myself with a man but now I’m worried about comphet. I’m really depressed and I can’t tell because yes, I find some women attractive whether it’s their makeup, face, body, aesthetic, but I never thought that meant I was attracted to them in a sexual or romantic way until this spiral. Now I’m afraid of masc lesbians and pretty women because it triggers me. But I’m also afraid because I feel like I can look at attractive men, but I don’t feel the same way anymore. I can’t even daydream about them bc then my brain inserts a woman. I’m really scared that I’ve lost myself, because I truly feel like I have, but I don’t want to explore with women, I just want to like men, I’ve always liked that idea. But so many lesbians talk about liking celebrities, fantasy men, or just attractive men. Sorry for the rant but I’m struggling a lot right now. I feel like all my memories, even the ones that directly contradict being a lesbian, can be explained away by comphet, internal homophobia, denial, suppression, etc. When I do try and accept uncertainty, sometimes it feels ok, but then something will trigger me and I’m back at square one. I’m afraid if I take my meds I’ll discover something about myself that I don’t want to because I’ve always been depressed and avoidant of life because it never lives up to my expectations. My sexuality is on my mind 24/7! I can’t take it!
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