( HELP ) kind of a long post...but I’m scared. I’m really freaking out guys. So lately I think I’m having some kind of existential depression/OCD going on. And I’ve been thinking about it ever since. About how we only have ourselves to worry about and that we exist for no reason. That part I think depresses me a little bit. But I don’t want to die. But my mind is in this loop of trying to make sure I’m not going to hurt myself or anything. And like I woke up panicking about my existence last night and I’ve been having horribly vivid dreams for the past couple of days. I’m not taking medication. And don’t have a therapist. But I feel like I’m going psycho .... what should I do?

That's a good way of looking at things taha, but J please make sure not to take this as a reason for suicide. While death isn't something we should necessarily fear, we also shouldn't seek it out. Live your life and don't worry about things like that, enjoy the things that you have and you can worry about things like that when you have reason to.

@CUFan I'm really glad you commented this. @taha I know you were trying to help, but as someone who has struggled with existential obsessions in the past as well as fear of suicide (similar to as described by JBird88), your comment was very triggering for those of us with this obsession. Please just be careful when commenting something like that. Those with existential obsessions need To STOP looking for answers. Suggesting that you know for sure what happens after death is not ideal. The reality is, none of us know what happens to us after death. We all have beliefs, but that's all they are -- beliefs through faith. Anyway, my point is, JBird88 is describing Existential OCD and harm OCD (in the form of self harm). Suggesting that death is the "most relaxed" you could be is not smart because it makes the sufferer panic that knowing that will make them more likely to hurt themselves when they don't actually want to. Idk, I could write a whole essay on this, but please, please don't comment something that makes the sufferer engage with the thoughts. It's a compulsion.

@JBird88 please get an OCD therapist. I can't diagnose obviously, but I can say with 99% certainty that you have OCD. When you have OCD you need to go to therapy to learn ERP, it won't go away by itself. Medication may or may not help with anxiety, but it won't make obsessions/compulsions go away as its fueled by our behavior/reaction to intrusive thoughts.

@taha I'm glad! I hope you know I don't mean to be harsh and I absolutely know you were trying to be helpful :) have a good day

Dear alissa, thank you for your comment. I deleted the reply so that J wouldn't read it. You are right.